David Fincher No Longer Remaking 'Cleopatra' with Angelina Jolie

What an exciting day of people not doing things! Chuck Norris won't be an Expendable, Hugh Laurie won't become a monkey-armed RoboCop puppet, and now David Fincher won't remake Cleopatra with Angelina Jolie in the title role.

According to Vulture, talks have broken down between Sony and the director, who had reportedly been hoping for a historical take that would eschew the familiar sword-and-sandals epic trappings "to focus on what still makes Cleopatra 'relatable to today.'" And of course, the thing that mostly makes Cleopatra relatable today is that she'll be portrayed by an A-list star who's pleasing to look at, and that fact remains: the project has, since its inception, been less about directorial vision than about proving that Jolie, not Lindsay Lohan, is the true heir to Elizabeth Taylor, and she remains attached to the lead.

As Fincher was already just playing surrogate to James Cameron, who was too busy Avataring to direct the film, the studio is already working to secure a new director, with Ang Lee said to be at the top of their list. In the meantime, Jolie will have to just keep herself self-indulged in some other ways--like smugly nodding at a framed poster for Mr. and Mrs. Smith, or maybe demanding her child get a part in her big-budget Disney film. Whatever works.