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'Soldiers of Fortune' Is Our Most Budget-Conscious 'Expendables'

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Starring Christian Slater, Ving Rhames, Sean Bean, Dominic Monaghan, and a mercifully-uncredited James Cromwell, Soldiers of Fortune has arrived as proof that an "all-star" team of mercenaries can be assembled for about the same cost as a single eco-friendly, compact car Schwarzenegger ruins in The Expendables 2. While the poster--and, more so, the fact that the trailer shamelessly plasters the word "EXPENDABLE" on the screen--seems to be inviting comparisons to Sylvester Stallone's action veteran team-up film, the below preview bears surprisingly little resemblance, instead setting up something more like a deeply unfunny, straight-to-video Tropic Thunder, in which a group of rich caricatures at a paramilitary-themed resort end up confronting an actual threat. Sean Bean probably couldn't wait to die in this:

Soldiers of "FORTUNE"! I get it, Chief O'Brien!

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