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'Guinness Book of World Records' Movie Sets New Record for Utter Desperation

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When a book has such interesting, well-developed characters as "Kid with a Bunch of Snails on His Face" and "Would You Just Look at These Fucking Disgusting Fingernails?", how could The Guinness Book of World Records not be turned into a wildly-successful film franchise?

That was Warner Bros.' thinking, too, so they've entered into negotiations with the Guinness people to license the book as the basis for an action-adventure film that will explore the thrills of standing there observing while a man sits in a bathtub with snakes, or whatever. The studio is confident enough talks will work out that they've already hired on The Office writer Danny Chun to attempt to form a narrative out of the book's many physical abnormalities and arbitrary lists of most/biggest things.

Paramount tried a similar project several years back, setting up Tim Burton and later Chris Columbus to direct Ripley's Believe It or Not with Jim Carrey in the lead. That project was originally slated for 2011 release before being scrapped for reasons I can only assume have to do with the fact that a chronicle of mutated freaks is a horrifying prospect for a family film. But maybe Warner will have better luck giving their freak book the benefit of an action angle. After all, just look how much more fun Guinness's official Woman with the Longest Fingernails became once given some action "business" of grossly trying to handle a Wii controller.

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This will be a movie!

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