Fifth 'Scary Movie' Has Director and Start Date for Assembling References

As the Weinsteins were reminded of back in February, Scary Movie sequels do not just spontaneously manifest as soon as enough horror catchphrases reach the ears of a grinning Ghostface mask.

The studio found this out when, despite having Scary Movie 5 scheduled for release this month, they were sad to discover that no such hilarious collection of references yet existed. A history of checks cashed by Anna Faris confirmed their suspicions of why this was: people have to be paid to make Scary Movies. So, now the Weinsteins are giving that a try, hiring Roll Bounce director Malcolm Lee to write and direct a new chapter of the franchise. To meet the film's preemptively-discouraging January 11th release date, production will begin promptly this summer; once-talented Airplane! director David Zucker, who enthusiastically took over the last two Scary Movies once the Wayans brothers matured beyond the franchise, will return to co-write and produce. Considering both Scary Movie 3 and Lee's Undercover Brother included Eddie Griffin and Denise Richards, their participation should be as foregone a conclusion as the presence of an extended Paranormal Activity parody in which the security cameras catch a ghost masturbating.