Michael Bay's Low-Budget Dark Comedy Still Has a Supermodel, and Tony Shalhoub

In between Transformers: Dark of the Moon and his upcoming Transformers reboot, loudness-focused director Michael Bay will be calming things down a bit with Pain and Gain, a $20 million bodybuilding crime film Bay calls a "dark comedy." Still, though, despite the relatively meager budget, this isn't a local children's theater being run out of a barn; obviously Michael Bay is going to get at least one ridiculously hot babe in this. Otherwise, why is anyone making or seeing this movie?

Israeli supermodel Bar Paly is in talks to join the film as a character named Sabina Petrescu, a former beauty queen turned illegal immigrant with ambitions on becoming the next Marilyn Monroe. Bay's last lust object, Transformers 3's Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, had on-screen experience only from behind exposed underwear, but Paly actually has a handful of acting credits to her name. She's appeared on several episodes of The Starter Wife, appeared on How I Met Your Mother, and appears alongside Charlie Sheen in Roman Coppola's upcoming A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III. In other words, if you're talking about choosing an actress almost entirely the speed at which she makes you erect, Bay could and has done worse.

Tony Shalhoub has also joined the film as Marc Schiller, the man targeted by bodybuilding criminal Mark Wahlberg's kidnapping plot. Plucking John Turturro from the shrapnel of Transformers would have been too obvious.

As previously mentioned, Bay will be following up Pain and Gain with another Transformers film, one that will reboot the series with the same robots but new human being seat-fillers, meaning soon there will be yet another chance to cast an all-new supermodel. Michael Bay drinks deeply from the cup of Victoria's Secret's Very Sexy® push-up bra.