February 19, 2012 - February 25, 2012 Archives
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Joel Kinnaman--best known for his role on AMC's The Killing--is probably going to be shot to death and reconstructed as a cyborg police officer of Detroit's future, because MGM decided someone has to be.... / Continue →
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Well, Lou Dobbs sure missed this bit in his dramatic exposé of The Lorax's liberal agenda: it turns out the small, orange, leftist leader isn't so anti-capitalist after all, because now he's selling SUVs. So how about that, Lou?... / Continue →
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We have got to get this guy together with the kid who looks like Russell. And then we have got to get a younger version of this guy to dramatize the story of his lost, beloved wife, and then we have to get someone who looks like me to publicly weep, because I don't need that sh... / Continue →
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As brought to my attention by Movieline, yesterday, Tyler Perry took to his blog to get Real. Reflecting on all the loss he's had in his life, seeing it all come together in a two week period, he PLEASE SEE GOOD DEEDS IN THEATERS FRIDAY THANKS: I'll keep this short and sweet b... / Continue →
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Let's have a sit-down, guys. Bullying: it's a real issue. Thanks partially to the internet and, by my eye, poor breeding, kids today are even bigger shit-heads than the kids who bullied us were. Bigger in general, too. Have you seen the size of these 12-year-old turds now? You'... / Continue →
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As an unabashed champion of Drive being awesome, I agree with everything this video says. All of this is more correct than most things.... / Continue →
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Just in case you hadn't realized yet, this Hunger Games thing is going to be a pretty big deal. It will be in our eyes; it will be in our ears; it will be in our malls; it will on some lady's back as a full-tortso tattoo; when children scream, their voices will carry the name P... / Continue →
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In response to being banned from wearing funny beards at the Oscars, Sacha Baron Cohen this morning went in-accent as General Aladeen to record special messages for the audiences of YouTube and NBC's Today. The film isn't even out yet, and already I'm feeling painfully overexpo... / Continue →
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If you saw the trailer for Steve Carell and Keira Knightley's end-of-days comedy, Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, and thought, "Why don't Willem Dafoe and Shanyn Leigh star in this, and why isn't the film more of a dismal psycho-sexual drama from Bad Lieutenant direc... / Continue →
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- Earlier today, writer/director David Wain took part in a reddit AMA (ask me anything), where he confirmed he is indeed writing Wet Hot American Summer 2. He also dutifully answers the question, "What's up with the nose job?" - If you're a fan of the manga/anime Bleach, get r... / Continue →
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Because, no matter how much my instincts tell me to, I'll never look away from Human Centipede-related handicrafts, here's the My Little Pony Centipede. As described on the Etsy page where you can buy it (hurry!): THIS IS NOT A TOY. It is a decorative art display and not inten... / Continue →
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Would you like to see a wacky snail that moves quickly? How about a Nerf cock-and-balls fucking a space helmet? Well, either way, DreamWorks will be visualizing your desires with Turbo. From BleedingCool, above is promo art from the 2013 release, which is said to be about a Ry... / Continue →
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Prepare to be disappointed when this lava guy doesn't even bother with a lazily-mimed "jerk-off" gesture before this moment. Already this sequel is failing to meet my extremely low expectations.... / Continue →
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Well, it sounds like Sacha Baron Cohen's novelty beard won't be getting into the Oscars, but here's what it would look like if it were allowed near awards--specifically, near every major North American sports award conflated into a single massive trophy. If you'd like to see ad... / Continue →
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To see the above image of Danny DeVito standing in a small clearing amidst the Truffula trees, you might not realize that what you're looking at is a campaign poster for extremist liberalism, meant to shape our two to three-year-olds into "occu-toddlers" (now a term), whose pla... / Continue →
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More of an extended clip than a true trailer, this latest preview for Pixar's Brave, like previous previews for Pixar's Brave, heavily features archery, Scottish brogues (most notably, Billy Connolly's Scottish brogue), and enough CGI curly red hair to ruin every CGI bar of soa... / Continue →
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Budget-related production delays on Lone Ranger last week cost the film its Dwight Yoakam, leaving Disney in need of someone to play the villain, Butch Cavendish. Thankfully, computers have shown that Yoakam's head lies exactly between the heads of William Fichtner and Clint Ho... / Continue →
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Following a report yesterday claiming Sacha Baron Cohen was planning to attend the Oscars in the full beard and novelty regalia of his Dictator character, the old white men that run the Academy have responded by making it quite clear that Cohen is not to touch the red carpet in... / Continue →
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Daniel von Bargen--probably best known for his recurring television roles on Seinfeld and Malcolm in the Middle--is reportedly in critical condition following a failed suicide attempt. TMZ has the tape of the actor's 911 call, which begins with the admission, "I've shot myself ... / Continue →
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Seen above in a screen test in which Bruce Willis bounces a "What's the deal with the gun, anyway?" routine off him, Australian actor Jai Courtney has been cast as John McClane's estranged son, John McClane Jr., in A Good Day To Die Hard.... / Continue →
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With Disney's popular friend Johnny demanding he get to be Kolchak in a remake of The Night Stalker or he isn't going to play pirates anymore, the studio today made a large and somewhat surprising move forward by hiring Edgar Wright to direct the reboot. Wright hasn't been doin... / Continue →
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Eugene Levy seems quite intent on ruining his streak of over 1500 workdays without incident of being in an American Pie film, and here's proof of his negligence: a new trailer for American Reunion, featuring Levy proudly announcing his ability to pleasure a woman with just his ... / Continue →
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Like the Twilight leads and Kevin James before them, the stars of The Hunger Games must first prove their charisma in a mall setting, in the bright skylights of the food court, before they're allowed to become the full-fledged international stars we're apparently going to make ... / Continue →
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I mean, if you're just looking for any old something to airbrush on your van, go with a skeleton with breasts riding a dragon. That's the ideal. But if you're set on a John Carter motif, definitely go with this:... / Continue →
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Threatened over the appearance of a rival bewigged comedian nearing the Academy Awards, Sacha Baron Cohen is acting quickly to ensure it will be his wacky accent call and spirit gum pheromones dominating the ceremony.... / Continue →
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The typically-secretive production on Bond 23 opens its doors in this new video blog that features scarce footage of Bond himself but does include plenty of tightly-scarfed director Sam Mendes pondering the film and his reasons for tackling the project. In short, he wants to sh... / Continue →
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Because no one knows the business of Academy Awards better than the star of The Love Guru, here's Mike Myers--in character as Sir Cecil Worthington--schooling the always-great Kevin Kline in the business of Oscar carrying and storage. Watch now, before Sir Cecil's School become... / Continue →
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An old man has for 32 years been stockpiling knickknacks and curios to fill his Manhattan apartment, to the point now that it's frequently mistaken for a vintage store. In this short by Mark Cersosimo and Kelsey Holtaway, we're given the same tour inside that curious passersby ... / Continue →
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From Community creator Dan Harmon's Twitter: What you call 8:00, we call home. Community returns to Thursday nights on March 15th. It remains uncertain how the current Thursday night MUST SEE lineup will be altered to make room for Community, as NBC has yet to formally announ... / Continue →
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The internet bestowed upon Diablo Cody the concept of blogs, thus allowing her to create the immortal quip "honest to blog," and now it's her turn to return the favor, internet. She's cast Nick Offerman--better known as the internet's favorite Parks & Recreation character to br... / Continue →
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WHY ISN'T THE BREAKING BAD CREDITS SEQUENCE LONGER!? Oh, now it is. Thanks to a YouTube person, there's now this new, atmospheric, extended intro worthy of setting up the beloved AMC series. This is truly what mankind should be fast-forwarding past before seeing what kind of tr... / Continue →
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The director of Planet of the Apes (2001, M. Wahlberg, H.B. Carter) has this new movie about a Frankenstein dog. Here is the film's poster, a reminder of the October release and also of pets lost, their souls scampering beyond the rainbow bridge, where they now wait for us as a... / Continue →
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If your idea for finally seeing critically-adored Oscar favorite The Artist has been the usual, "I will wait however long it takes to come to Netflix, because I am apathetic and, more importantly, unwilling to put on real pants," your strategy is going to be paying off sooner t... / Continue →
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The Bang Bus makes the porn industry seem so simple. Drive around in a bus, pick up a girl, bang that girl, record banging, and continue off in your bus, satisfied in a day's work. But no, as it turns out, girls often won't just up and agree to be recorded having sex with any s... / Continue →
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Orlando Bloom and Djimon Hounsou are reportedly attached to star in Zulu, which is in no way a remake of the 1964 Michael Caine Zulu, so we can all calm down about that right now. Adapted from Caryl Férey's procedural novel of the same name, the film is to follow two Cape Town ... / Continue →
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Just what Washington always wanted. Lincoln wanted a movie where he fights vampires, so, thankfully, that's taken care of, too. / Continue →
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Just when you thought there wasn't a high concept premise left to get Eddie Murphy wide-eyed in a suit, back he comes with A Thousand Words, in which HE ONLY HAS 1000 WORDS LEFT TO DISCOVER WHAT MATTERS MOST." The last poster for the sole need-to-see comedy of 2012 was high on ... / Continue →
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Much of The Amazing Spider-Man was shot outside the New York City setting it's meant to depict, but you'd never know it from the extremely NYC scene depicted below in the first, brief clip from the film. Nothing captures the city's zeitgeist like a uniformed man asking to take ... / Continue →
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Like a surprisingly vast catalogue of films labeled "dark comedy," Two Little Boys earns its designation through comically-negligent manslaughter and the increasingly complicated business of covering it up. The accidental killer in this case: Flight of the Conchords star Bret M... / Continue →
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If you've seen Road House, you know how awesome this is going to be. If you have not, don't worry, this won't spoil anything. The face punches are but salt and pepper liberally sprinkled atop Road House's meaty filling of Patrick Swayze and cheesy layer of monster truck driving... / Continue →
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Ever wonder who casts the votes that decide if Meryl Streep made-believe better than her competition in any given year? Well, the L.A. Times did a little investigating into the matter and, fairly unsurprisingly, that decision is left largely to the old white guys.... / Continue →
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Your weekend box office: 1. Safe House - $24 million. Undeterred after a second place debut, Denzel Washington's Safe House this weekend climbed over last week's champ and two new wide releases to overtake the box office. And now I have two good ideas for new Denzel Washington... / Continue →
