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'G.I. Joe: Retaliation' Trailer: Trust Only Bruce Willis's Smug Grin

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As the trailer for G.I. Joe: Retaliation opens, already the eponymous team is being betrayed. Like a mom angry that she keeps stepping on your little plastic men, the U.S. President (or, more likely, Arnold Vosloo's evil Disguise Man) has ordered the elimination of all G.I. Joes, thus immediately rationalizing a huge casting shake-up over on the good guy's side. With G.I. Wayans and the lot seemingly dead from the outset, the team is now led by either The Rock or a strangely absent Channing Tatum, and the only other members of the team appear to be a different babe, some dude, and a handful of ninjas. And, with Dennis Quaid apparently also MIA, there's only one man the gruop can trust: Bruce Willis. Because if you can't trust the guy who briefly swings by in an El Camino just to pick up his wisecrack check, who can you trust?

Well, I can't say I'm completely sold, but at least all the indiscriminate shooting and ninja shit does seem to be more G.I. Joe-esque than its predecessor. I'm almost certain I staged that same cliff-face sword battle in 1989, off the back of my living room couch.

  • April 24, 2012
    This latest trailer for G.I. Joe: Retaliation wastes little time in explaining why Joe star Channing Tatum was so absent from the last trailer for the film. As the preview--and presumably the actual film--opens, the entire G.I. Joe action figure line is attacked by the U.S.'s o... / Continue →
  • December 12, 2012
    Earlier this summer, when Paramount decided to delay their G.I. Joe sequel by ten months, there were rumors that it was due to the unsurprising fact that the film was quite bad, leading the studio to shoot some additional scenes with Channing Tatum--who died almost immediately ... / Continue →
  • April 25, 2012
    Hot on the heels of yesterday's big dumb trailer for G.I. Joe: Retaliation, here's another big dumb trailer for the action figure-based sequel. This is an international trailer, with less emphasis on Bruce Willis and more focus on ninjas and the fact that The Rock refuses to us... / Continue →
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