With the film opening this weekend--and with no one doing the responsible thing and telling those accountable to stop this--the Adam Sandler comedy Jack & Jill now has quite a wealth of clips and television spots available on its terrible YouTube page. I would never expect you to watch all of these, nor would any representative of Happy Madison condone such an action. But, duty bound, I did watch them all--and while I was at it, I compiled a list of all the jokes contained within, so that you may preview the belly laughs without spoiling the visuals of Adam Sandler wearing a wig. Enjoy.
- As seen above, Jack observes Jill at JC Penney catalog-level nudity.
- Al Pacino (Al Pacino) breaks a chair over Jill's (Adam Sandler in a wig) head.
- Jill lifts massive weights over her head, because she is very strong, apparently.
- Jill sees Jack (Sandler without wig) naked and is fine with it, because Jill doesn't have any concept of incest.
- Jill spoons Jack for the same reason listed above.
- Jill is so heavy that her sitting on a pony destroys it. Just utterly destroys it, to death.
- Jill uses a jet ski in Jack's in-ground pool, then she launches out of the pool and breaks Jack's deck furniture.
- Jill hits an elderly woman in the face with a stick.
- Jill tries to kick a ball, but instead her shoe flies off and hits the same elderly woman in the face.
- Jill repeatedly places Jack in a comedy headlock.
- Jill throws a bald man into a Christmas tree.
- Jill punches out a transgender woman, but don't worry: it's just an accident, not a hate crime.
- There's a major set piece involving Jack and Jill jump-roping, and I'm genuinely not sure if it's meant to be funny or not. I sense it is some sort of climax, though, as unlikely as that seems.
- As I'm sure you've seen, Jack's naked, presumably-adopted child has a pepper grinder taped to his head, and he punches Jill in the face, which makes Jack proud of his crazy, naked kid.
- This same child also tapes a hamster to his own back, because the joke is that the kid is mentally ill.
- THERE'S A TALKING BIRD. Just what this broad cross-dressing comedy was missing!
And there you have it, future anthropologists: the zeitgeist of 2011.