Travolta, De Niro Will Try To Kill Each Other, After This Warm Embrace

Bringing together some of our most now-depressing hot talent of the '70s, Robert De Niro and John Travolta will at last be in a movie together, and it somehow is neither a Tarantino nor another Focker. Instead, the two will share screen time on Killing Season, a thriller to be directed by When in Rome/Daredevil/Ghost Rider/Simon Birch director Mark Steven Johnson. De Niro will play a veteran who has retreated to a remote forest cabin, free of all those VFW obligations. A European visitor, played by J. Travolta, eventually arrives to interrupt De Niro's secluded life, and the two become fast friends. But behind this hermitic Perfect Strangers-esque façade lies a secret: it turns out Travolta is a former Serbian soldier there to exact revenge upon De Niro! And "what follows is a tense, action packed battle across some of America's most forbidding landscape that proves the old adage: the purest form of war is one-on-one." Finally, someone will confirm what the NES title Jordan Vs. Bird: One on One only strongly implied.

Though the official press release doesn't make mention of it, the project would seem to be a reworking of Schrapnel, a film that was originally being set up as a re-teaming of Travolta and Nicolas Cage. Sadly, seeing that Expendables 2 already seems to be shooting sans rumored parts for Travolta and Cage, it seems that the only way we're going to get our greatest scenery chewers back together is to literally remove their faces and surgically transpose them, and then have them fight. Again.