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Welcome to 'The Jungle Book' OF THE FUTURE

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In an apparent attempt to make the planned cool, urban take on Robin Hood and post-apocalyptic Zorro seem like lucid thoughts approved by sane men, some other people in business suits today purchased an updated take on an old classic that may be even stupider than the aforementioned two. Reaching even further into the quickly-diminishing sack of self-satire that feeds modern Hollywood, Chernin Entertainment have purchased--and plan to produce along with John Krauss and frequent Pirates of the Caribbean director Gore Verbinski--a pitch described only as "a futuristic Jungle Book." This time THE ANIMAL IS MAN! Or maybe not. I don't know what "fururistic Jungle Book" means. Android raised by Avatar dragons? Wait, will some of the bare necessities listed in "The Bare Necessities" now include "anything I could use to put a fighting robot together"?

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