Rescue Me has ended its seven-season run, leaving series creator Peter Tolan with nothing to oversee, but Tolan sure hasn't been wasting his time off since the taping of the final show. Rather than allow his brain to shrivel in its retirement from writing fire-themed dialogue for Denis Leary, he's kept his mind fertile inventing new reasons for Playboy models and German singing sensations to run down beaches, as he's just revealed that he's completed a new draft of Paramount's long in-development Baywatch movie.
Last we heard about this project was two years ago, when Jeremy Garelick--who self-admittedly had never seen the show--was attempting to shape the film into a broad comedy. Speaking about the new draft on The Matthew Aaron Show, Tolan didn't make clear if he took the same broad approach to the material, but he did make one similarity clear: he's never watched this bullshit, either. Also, his script is in no way based on the show. Because, no, of course not. Why would it be? Baywatch is less a clearly-defined series about attractive lifeguards than it is an improv prompt, meant just as a word-association jumping ground for you to have some fun with.
"It's not based on the show in any way, though there are a couple of winks at the show," he said. "I don't know anything about the show. I didn't watch it in preparation for writing this."
Ah, uninformed winks at material he's completely unfamiliar with. Those are the best kind of winks!
Surprisingly, Tolan also said there would be roles for series stars David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson, but added that the two would not be playing the characters they played on television--a circumstance surely due, at least in part, to Tolan not knowing the names of those characters. Hey, maybe those are the couple winks I've heard so much about!
Anyway, if Baywatch had any non-ironic fans, they would probably be up in arms right now, but since that isn't the case, I guess this is fine.
Rescue Me's Tolan Has Rewritten the Baywatch Script [ComingSoon]