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Taylor Lautner Panted Out a New 'Abduction' Trailer

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That audible huffing and the humid breath you've felt on your neck all day? You haven't been imagining it! You've just been feeling Muscle Werewolf's palpable excitement for this new Abduction trailer. There aren't many new ridiculously agape faces for our collection, nor any new non-sayings as perfectly muddled as the first trailer's "You wanna play with no rules, you better be careful whatcha let out da box." But human-shaped whale shark Taylor Lautner just tries so, so hard with his "not if I find you first" delivery, you can't help but want to give him that treat director John Singleton is clearly dangling just off camera. Come on, Singleton, he's earned it.

  • April 14, 2011
    Ready for the least convincing delivery of the "not if I find you first" cliché ever recorded? Well, here it is, in the first starring vehicle for our supposed newest young action hero, Twilight werewolf Taylor Lautner. Even when his participation in school athletics and party... / Continue →
  • January 31, 2012
    It's a scenario familiar to anyone who is Taylor Lautner in Abduction: it turns out your dad is a spy, Sigourney Weaver is somehow involved, and now every other shot of you involves a mobile phone and a dumbfounded expression. But this time there's a different ripped torso at t... / Continue →
  • November 10, 2011
    Fans of Steven Soderbergh, Michael Fassbender, MMA fighter Gina Carano, and/or vicarious sadomasochism will want to take a look at EntertainmentWeekly's new trailer for Haywire. Like in the last trailer, the mixed martial artist is again shown beating the shit out of a bunch of... / Continue →
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