Never Mind About That 'Dark Tower' Trilogy + TV Series

I hope no one was really looking forward to Ron Howard and Akiva Goldsman's adaptation of Stephen King's The Dark Tower, because, sorry, we aren't doing that anymore. The ginger director and his lamentable screenwriter had been hoping to stretch King's seven-plus books across a trilogy of films and multiple NBC Miniseries Television Events, and even had Javier Bardem ready to star as the series' gunslinging lead. Now, though, after delaying the film back in May, Universal has canned the whole thing, having suddenly come to the realization that it will cost a lot of money to make so many Dark Towers. Howard, Goldsman, and producing partners Brian Grazer and Steve King are now free to take the project to another studio, but seeing that Howard--seemingly aware that no one was going to want to make all these Dark Towers--already set up a Spy Vs. Spy film and a movie about vrooms vrooms for himself to direct, I wouldn't count on that happening. Those hoping for an epic, multi-film Stephen King story on screens are just going to have to wait until CBS gets their act together and does that The Stand adaptation they've been talking about. Or, hey, maybe this is a sign it's time someone gets to work on some Stand By Me sequels. "We found another dead body, guys! Ut oh, Kiefer Sutherland is older!" Think about it.