Robert Zemeckis has some free time now that Disney told him they're not going to pay for him to make a horrifying version of Yellow Submarine, and according to the Hollywood Reporter, the producer/director has figured out just the thing.
Coming off the spectacular failure of Mars Needs Moms--and no doubt noticing that Gnomeo and Juliet has made over $175 million worldwide--Zemeckis has decided, hey, you know what sounds pretty good right now? Some shit with gnomes. He's committed to producing an adaptation of How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack, Chuck Sambuchino's book that--like fellow film-optioned title How to Survive a Robot Uprising--stretches a zany survivalist conceit to its natural endpoint: a foreverhome on an Urban Outfitters discount bookrack. But not before it swings past Sony's backlot!
No writer has been set and, obviously, there isn't any media from the actual film, but there is this trailer for the book itself to give you an idea of what to expect. Just imagine this scene played out by an unsettling, CGI human effigy: