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'Dark Knight Rises' Cotillard and Gordon-Levitt Casting Confirmed, Not as Exciting as Presumed

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Well, the rumors were half right. All those insiders and unnamed sources and obviousness staters who assured us Christopher Nolan would continue to cast The Dark Knight Rises from his Inception stable have been proved correct, with Warner Bros. today releasing a statement confirming that Marion Cotillard and Joseph Gordon-Levitt have joined the cast. But, whups, that's pretty much where all our rumors stop being fact, because Cotillard isn't going to be Talia al Ghul or Ladyriddler at all. She's playing Miranda Tate, "a Wayne Enterprises board member eager to help a still-grieving Bruce Wayne resume his father's philanthropic endeavors for Gotham" and, I would guess, our newest shoehorned love interest. JGL, too, joins the cast as a real whothefuck?, and is playing Gotham beat cop on special assignment John Blake.

Considering how grossly distended superhero movie bellies tend to get once you breach the two villain mark, it's probably actually better the two aren't playing big name, canonical roles. The internet can safely revert all its nerd energy back into imagining what Catwoman is going to look like as a real girl. (Pretty, I bet!) Unless, that is, this is all a Nolantrick to get us to do just that, so that we won't notice "Miranda Tate" is an anagram for "Animated Tar," which is sort of like what Clayface is...

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