Warner Bros. does not love you, either, because they've decided to go ahead and remake their tale of forbidden diva-on-chaperon love, 1992's The Bodyguard.
The original--first written by Lawrence Kasdan as a vehicle for Diana Ross and Steve McQueen--starred Whitney Houston as basically a less drug-addled version of Whitney Houston, with Kevin Costner playing a Secret Service agent hired to protect the singer from a crazed stalker. The two fall in love, recognize that their affair would interfere with their professional relationship, and end things--but it's tough, because SHE WILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM. In this update, to be written by Jeremiah Friedman and Nick Palmer, The Bodyguard will be an Iraq War veteran--and, if if rumors from a year ago are to be believed, Rihanna and Channing Tatum might play the new couple. Which sounds about right, so long as this kid does the songs:
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