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Regis Philbin Retiring from Regis Kelly Ripa Show

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Marking the biggest shake-up in shit-you-casually-watch-when-you're-home-sick entertainment since Bob Barker's departure from The Price is Right, excitable daytime TV stalwart Regis Philbin today announced his retirement from his long-running syndicated show. Speaking on-air to his legion of stay-at-home moms, people on disability, and kids with chicken pox, the beloved 79-year-old host revealed:

This will be my last year on this show ... but there is a time, there is a time that everything needs to come to an end for certain people on camera, especially certain old people.

Just as the show previously continued--with a slight name change--after Kathie Lee departed for the drinkier pastures of The Today Show's unwatchable fourth hour, the program is expected to continue with Kelly Ripa and a new co-host. Finally, some fresh blood to ramble about nothing on a stool!

No candidates have yet been named as possible replacements, but fellow new retiree Larry King has wasted no time in tossing his suspenders in the ring as a temporary solution, telling Inside Edition, "I would sit in for him for a few weeks." Alright, Larry, that admittedly does sound like a better option than Ryan Seacrest, but this better not just be a ploy you're pulling to make sure your quiet passing still gets televised.

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