'Never Say Never' Trailer: Justin Bieber Home Movies and Hoodies, in 3-D
"They" said he couldn't do it (apparently, if you believe this trailer). But just look at Justin Bieber now: he's a bona fide star, I'm told, who has a crew of people just to make sure his hair sweeps around just so under his bright, bright hoodies. He's so important, in fact, that there's already this documentary about his nascent career and his thrilling journey into prepubescence--Never Say Never, in 3-D! See his early home videos of drumming on chairs, in 3-D(?)! See morbid superfans explain that they'll follow Bieber to his grave, in 3-D! Watch him ascend into an American Gladiators Atlasphere, in 3-D! Just look how big the little asthmatic's sneakers are, in 3-D! It's pretty awful.
He's just like your and me! Isn't that reassuring?