Paul W.S. Anderson's Three Musketeers Movie Has a Cast Better Than a Paul W.S. Anderson Movie Deserves (and Milla Jovovich)

Inept, action-packing director Paul W.S. Anderson's "All for One"-less adaptation of the Three Musketeers story has taken another joyless step forward today with the announcement of most of the film's cast.

THR reports the director of Mortal Kombat, Alien vs. Predator, and Death Race has secured a cast that includes Percy Jackson's Logan Lerman as Chris O'Donnell; Ray Stevenson, Luke Evans, and Matthew Macfadyen as Oliver Platt, Kiefer Sutherland, and Charlie Sheen (respectively); Inglourious Basterds villain Christoph Waltz as Cardinal Tim Curry; Casino Royale villain Mads Mikkelsen as Michael Wincott; and Anderson's wife Milla Jovovich as whatever female role she wants, because that's the agreement she gets every time she starts fucking another director. An offer is also apparently out for Orlando Bloom to play the Duke of Buckingham, I assume because it just really seems like Orlando Bloom would be in a Three Musketeers movie, doesn't it?

Unsurprisingly, the film will be in 3-D, and studio executives are already predicting "3M in 3D" is going to look so fucking awesome on a poster.

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