Mar 10 2010Man Treated Like Thanksgiving Bird for Requesting Theater Courtesy
I have for you an important lesson that it's not always a good idea to act like opposite George Costanza at a movie theater. An annoyed man in a Lancaster cinema Saturday learned it the hard way.
When the man told a woman to stop talking on her cell phone during a 9 PM showing of Shutter Island (a seemingly reasonable request), she complied. Then she and her two male friends left the theater, presumably purchased or retrieved a nearby meat thermometer and--in an attack that will likely illicit the Leno punchline, "Police were going to take him to the hospital, but he wasn't done yet"--STABBED THE GUY IN THE FUCKING NECK WITH A MEAT THERMOMETER.
The movie industry just can't win. For every gimmicky new invention they come up with to get people into cinemas, there's always going to be a psychotic person attempting to murder someone by plunging a meat thermometer into the throat of someone requesting theater civility, thus scaring anyone from ever going to a movie again. What are the chances this is a really aggressive Netflix ad campaign?
Reader Comments
1. htdg - March 10, 2010 3:22 PM
That's a rough night right there...
2. Dan Cosgrove - March 10, 2010 4:28 PM
There should be big nerdy bouncers at the theatre that have every right to toss you out on your ass for being a douchebag.
It shouldn't be up to patrons to tell these schmucks to be considerate.
Holy crap, though. A thermometer in the neck!? This chick was just waiting for an excuse to attack someone.
3. Matt - March 10, 2010 4:36 PM
I bet the bitch talkin on her phone was black. They always seem to act like they OWN the theaters.
4. Tom - March 10, 2010 6:29 PM
Black perps from de looks ob it.
5. sumdumgai - March 10, 2010 8:18 PM
She better get the chair. And that's just for talking on her damn phone. She should also get in some trouble for the stabbing.
6. blahblahblackpeepgetoffofyourmetropcsphone - March 10, 2010 8:44 PM
It has been said already but you know the bitch was black. Even Chris Rock said he hates nigs in movie theaters. I'm surprised those idiots didn't shoot the damn screen. I seriously wish there was an exception to the whole murder law where a person can legally behead someone else who doesn't get off of their phone and shut up during a movie.
At least those dumbasses with get all-beef thermometers in their asses in jail.
7. Remegy - March 10, 2010 9:20 PM
why a thermometer? was that just the first thing they could grab? was someone outside of the theater just walking around with a fucking meat thermometer?
8. Local - March 10, 2010 10:06 PM
Holy Crap! I live about 3 miles away from that theater. There is a Harbor Freight and a Walmart within walking distance.
9. Jeff - March 11, 2010 12:21 AM
stupid nigs, and dont be all shocked you know it was nigs who did this
10. smiles - March 11, 2010 2:49 AM
A woman with bleach poured over her in a restaurant in the UK because she asked some "youths" to stop talking and using phones during a film, so they followed her after she left the cinema http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/aug/03/harry-potter-bleach-attach
Who takes a phone to the cinema anyway? It's so expensive, I'd rather not have my mates texting halfway through to ask how it is!
11. Species 8472 - March 11, 2010 11:11 AM
@ 5 sumdumgai - SECONDED. I despise people that talk audibly in theaters. The stupid fuckers just sit there and talk loudly about their own worthless ass. They're not even discussing the movie.
Sometimes it's just me and the noisy group of degenerate sub-humans though, so I figure the theater is making more money off the people who spent money to ruin the movie for everyone else, more than the lone customer who actually paid to see the movie he was looking forward to.
12. potato_owl - March 11, 2010 1:53 PM
I don't understand why people pay to go watch a film (which isn't cheap for poor ass students like me) and then talk on their mobiles
I asked some kids when I watched the dark knight to stop talking on their phones. They stopped and didn't say anything, but I think its because I snuck up on the row behind them and then pounced behind them like a fucking TIGER.
Yeah...i'm cool.
13. POW - March 11, 2010 8:55 PM
See kids, internet piracy never stabbed anyone in the neck with a thermometer. Now who has the upper hand?
14. nike tn - March 12, 2010 12:15 AM
nike tn
15. Paul - March 15, 2010 10:58 AM
There aren't any black people in Lancaster. It's where L.A. keeps all its skinheads and sex offenders.