Mar 19 2010It's Been Decided: The World Needs an 'Overboard' Remake

The 1987 comedy Overboard starred Goldie Hawn as a rich socialite who falls off her yacht, loses her memories, gets convinced by her spiteful carpenter (Kurt Russell) that she's his serving housewife, eventually regains her memories, and decides she loves her Kurt Russell after all. Basically, it's a screwball scientific study of amnesia, Stockholm Syndrome, and boats. There's no reason you should ever think about it outside of when you get momentarily mixed-up before you figure out it's Captain Ron on TBS.

Except, you will have to think about it again, because Jennifer Lopez is going to be in a remake of it:

Jennifer Lopez is in talks to star in the remake of the romantic comedy "Overboard," which Overbrook is producing for Columbia.

The 1987 movie, which starred Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn and was directed by Garry Marshall, centered on a snooty, spoiled woman who falls off her yacht and is taken to the hospital by a local, morally challenged carpenter. When she wakes up with amnesia, he convinces her she is his wife, thereby getting a free housekeeper for his four boys.

So we've got 300 holding his ex-wife Friends captive until they fall back in love in Bounty Hunter, Tom Cruise taking Cameron Diaz as his sidekick-hostage in Knight & Day, Meg Ryan duct-taping Timothy Hutton to a toilet until they rekindle their romance in Serious Moonlight, and now a remake of Overboard.

As if it wasn't bad enough when romantic comedies were just setting unrealistic standards of dramatic proposals in the rain and cooking together leading to a laughter-filled montage. Now kidnapping in the romantic standard? This is setting a dangerous precedent. Pretty soon you won't even be able to get a date without an unmarked white van.