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E*TRADE Talking Baby Movie Will Be Funny Because Babies Don't Talk About Stocks or at All

March 30, 2010 / etrade babies the movie, movie, news

Damn you, Hollywood, always raping all my favorite intolerable Super Bowl commercials from my two-years-ago!

Undaunted by the task of following in the comically precocious footsteps of Look Who's Talking, Look Who's Talking Too, Baby Geniuses and, yes, even Baby Geniuses 2: SUPERBABIES, 20th Century Fox is reportedly working with E*TRADE to add a feature film to the never-ending collection of babies-talk-stocks-on-a-webcam commercials. Yes, we're getting an E*TRADE baby movie. An E*TRADE baby movie.

Have we so soon forgotten the lessons learned from the Geico Cavemen television series, the 7-Up Spot and Domino's Noid video games, and all the California Raisins merchandise in my parents' garage? Commercials should never be considered actual entertainment--except for that really crazy, psychedelic Friskies commercial, which I literally sprint across my apartment to catch.

But more importantly than the commercial thing: it should legitimately be a crime to still be making talking baby movies in 2010. Particularly when we still have so many animal species that have yet to be lent a voice through CGI.

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