Jan 8 2010French Remake of 'Star Wars'
Man, they just knocked it out of the park. Plus, now we know the bizarre inspiration behind Prince's Batdance.
(via)
Jan 8 2010Billy Paxton Wants To Hunt Tornadoes in Third Dimension
Drawing inspiration from those pop-ups ads promising a wondrous 3D tornado that will save your screen (and apparently a trip he took to the Ozarks), Bill Paxton has decided he'd like to make another Twister film--this one using 3D gimmicks to make the cows caught in the tornadoes fly right out of the screen! The actor explained to Premium Hollywood (via Empire):
“I’ve had a meeting at the studio with Kathleen Kennedy about it,” Paxton said, whose inspiration for a sequel came as a result of a trip that he took to the Ozark Mountains last spring."That would need Steven Spielberg’s blessing, ultimately, and they probably won’t take it to him ‘til there’s real studio interest, but I think the 3D applications of that could obviously be pretty amazing.
"I always thought the first ‘Twister’ was an exciting ride, but I thought a sequel could explore it in a more enthralling way, getting into more of the history and the lore, more of a darker version of the first one.”
A darker Twister, huh? I don't think anyone actually wants that, but OK, Bill. Go for it. But first things first: we're going to need a more somber Goo Goo Dolls song.
Jan 8 2010New 'Kick-Ass' Trailer... Now What Action, Body Part Combination To Most Creatively Describe It...
New Kick-Ass trailer, everyone. Your brain will give your eyes a firm handshake for watching.
Jan 8 2010First Look at 'Ironclad' and a Day's Worth of Sword
Continuing our coverage of the week's most ridiculous film swords, here's a shot of The Philanthropist holding a novelty-size sword designed to make Braveheart look like an asshole. The photo comes from Ironclad, a British indie being described as a "medieval Seven Samurai" and which had better contain at least one scene in which James Purefoy slides between a guy's legs while holding this sword up, perfectly splitting him down the middle, or I know one audience member who's going to be really, really disappointed.
Jan 8 2010'A-Team' Trailer: I Really Enjoy It When a Scheme Happens
Hurry, before it's spirited away! See the low-res exploits of your favorite primary squad with this contraband A-Team trailer!
Continue Reading "'A-Team' Trailer: I Really Enjoy It When a Scheme Happens"
Jan 8 2010This Girl Is More Attractive Than Him! WHAAAAA??? 'She's Out of My League' Poster
How can such a babe be attracted to a man whose head is being painfully stretched by two invisible hands above his head??? It's crazy. Probably my third-favorite wacky dating scenario after jock-dating-nerd-girl-who-ends-up-being-actually-hot and Stockholm syndrome.
Jan 8 2010NBC Making More Terrible Late Night Programming Decisions
Oof, did you see this at my girlfriend site? NBC, the network determined to keep Jay Leno on the air until he dies (and probably for a week or two after that if they have enough Headlines to prop against his bloating corpse), is reportedly looking at plans to move the former Tonight Show host back to his former 11:35 spot, bumping Conan from his bequeathed position to a 12:05 spot.
Great, NBC. Permanently damage your relationship with your loyal, actually-funny host in order to squeeze a few more years of Jaywalking segments in after the local news. Is this somehow all a plot by HBO to get another Late Shift TV movie going? If so, great work.
Jan 8 2010There's This Now: The Big Lewboski, Shakespeare-Style
Ever wonder what it would be like if Shakespeare wrote The Big Lewowski? Well, whatever. Here it is anyway.
Lesson plan tip: read it aloud then watch the movie with your class!
(Thanks, Paul Allen.)
Jan 7 2010Remake Ahoy! Here's the New 'The Crazies'
Ut oh, a town has been exposed to a chemical that makes them all insane murderers! Again!
With a cocktail of equal parts horror and repetition that's sure to anger some and modestly entertain others, some guy has remade George Romero's The Crazies. Here's the trailer, which demonstrates that even if you're going fucking crazy, it's always sensible to give your car a good washing:
Continue Reading "Remake Ahoy! Here's the New 'The Crazies'"
Jan 7 2010Paddington Bear Movie Happening, Mighty Boosher in It?
A shock to me even though I apparently talked about it two years ago, there's an Alvin and the Chipmunks-style CGI-animal-in-the-real-world version of Paddington Bear coming out, and The Sun claims Noel Fielding of The Mighty Boosh will be in it playing what sounds like a godawful freak:
Clown prince Noel will play Paddington's cousin - a half man, half beast who also comes from Darkest Peru.He has been signed by Mighty Boosh director Paul King, who is penning the movie with Hamish McColl, co-writer of 2007 comedy flick Mr Bean's Holiday.
Seeing that I'm no longer a petulant British child, it's been some time since I've read a Paddington Bear story, but I really don't remember there being a nightmarish chimera cousin that would clearly be horrifying if visually realized. Was there? Because it sounds fucking wretched. Will this half-man, half-beast walk and talk or just kind of writhe around as its mixed cells desperately struggle to cooperate? This has Gooby written all over it.
Jan 7 2010First Look at 'MacGruber': Yup, That's That Recurring SNL Character Alright
A Miata? Not bad. I've always thought of the Ford Probe as king of outdated sporty ridiculousness, but the Miata certainly holds its own.
First Official Photos: MacGruber [/Film]
Jan 7 2010Michael Cera Killing Some Guys with a Flaming Katana
From the final battle of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (spoilers!), here's Michael Cera wielding a katana that is on fire as Jason Schwartzman and Mary Elizabeth Winstead look on. If you would like to purchase one of these fire swords, they will be available for purchase at 4 AM, when a man named Mr. Odell will be selling them after a basic cable station goes off the air and is replaced by a bizarre, low budget shop-at-home station that sells literally hundreds of knives for $50.
(Bigger here. Thanks, Carter.)
Jan 6 2010Warner Delaying Netflix Rentals a Month or So
Bad news: you're going to have to wait an entire month of February before you can rent Sex and the City 2 from Netflix. In an effort to increase DVD sales, Warner Bros. had worked out a deal with the rental giant to delay all Warner rentals for 28 days after retail release. When your neighbor who's one of those rich jerks who just buys every new DVD he sees near the checkout at Walmart starts trying to chat with you about a new release that didn't look good enough for either of you to bother with in theaters, you're going to have to timidly admit to him, "Sorry, I haven't seen that. I RENT things. I'm too POOR and WORTHLESS to indiscriminately purchase films of questionable quality." You've just brought shame to so many non-conspicuously spending families, Netflix and Warner Bros. Thanks.
Jan 6 2010'Fish Tank' Trailer Really Takes You Back
Man, remember being an angsty 15-year-old British girl? Living in a rundown flat, crying, fighting your negligent mum for the affections of her boyfriend you're sleeping with too... God, those were the days. Relive them with this trailer for the UK indie Fish Tank:
Continue Reading "'Fish Tank' Trailer Really Takes You Back"
Jan 6 2010Get To SXSW Early for Some 'Kick-Ass'
Marking the first time in the festival's history that it will begin with a little girl murdering a bunch of dudes, SXSW will show Matthew Vaughn's Kick-Ass opening night. If you plan on attending, know this is technically not the premiere--it screened last year for another riled-up crowd--so your chance at being the first to say, "The title is correct! This film was KICK... ASS!," is probably already shot. You could still probably be the first to arbitrarily take your shirt off and scream, "I'm gonna cut up all your stupid faces," though.
Jan 6 2010Native American Werewolf Also Great Pilot
Your favorite Twilight hunk after the standard Twilight hunk is getting another big part. With studios insisting Taylor Lautner is destined to become our next Vin-Diesel-but-with-hair-and-a-human's-voice, Skydance Productions has entrusted the walking Bowflex ad to the lead in Northern Lights, a Top Gun-like tale of hotshot pilots, a love affair, and Tom Cruise. Lautner will play Muscular Hotshot Pilot No. 1; Cruise will play his rich, controlling father; Hotshot Lady Pilot Who Muscular Pilot Will Kiss has yet to be cast.
Deadline Hollywood notes Lautner will make $7.5 million for the part, making him a higher paid teen star than even Disney groomed TeenBeat stars Zac Efron and Hannah Montana. So whoever said you can't become a huge star solely by having a vacant stare, working out, drinking protein shakes, and playing second fiddle in an awful teenage girl-focused genre franchise, you were sure wrong! I don't know why you were wrong, but you were apparently wrong.
Jan 6 2010'Robocop', 'Spider-Man 4' Taking Forever To Hit Theaters
I hope you weren't too excited about Spider-Man 4 or Darren Aronofsky's Robocop remake, because it doesn't sound like either of those are happening any time soon. According to Variety, director Sam Raimi and studio heads are still at odds with the newest Spider-Man script: Raimi is fighting to make Vulture the primary proantagonist (whups!); the studio, rightfully thinking that kids might not buy as many action figures of a winged bald man, wants to cram Black Cat in there too for a s.e.x.y. subplot.
Moviehole, meanwhile, reports Robocop has been put on hold due to another studio versus director dispute: MGM chair Mary Parent want the film to be shot in 3D; Aronofsky isn't having it.
Why can't all these directors and studios just get along so we can get on with making the overstuffed sequels and unnecessary remakes that allow me to not have to digest any original thoughts? If they don't hurry up, I'm going to have to give in and see a movie that doesn't have easily recognizable characters. Wait, never mind, Karate Kid with is coming soon enough. Take your time, guys. I'll just be here basking in Will Smith Jr. jump kicks.
Jan 6 2010Pierce Brosnan in: 'Barbarian in Manhattan'!
Alternately, Pierce Brosnan in: Death Metal Sage!
Or Pierce Brosnan in: Warrior Hobo!
Or Pierce Brosnan in: Pierce Brosnan Has Given Up and Is Living Like a Mad Savage in an Undisclosed City!
The end.
Jan 5 2010Sam Mendes Wants His Martini Shaken Not Stirred LOL Because That's a Bond Thing and He's Directing a Bond Movie
Sam Mendes, ol' Sammy M, is in talks to direct the next Bond movie. How about that, huh?
The British helmer is in negotiations to direct the 23rd installment of the venerable James Bond franchise.Production is being fast-tracked and could begin as early as June with an eye toward a 2011 release. Plans for the film are moving forward despite a possible sale of MGM. Sony co-produced and distributed the most recent installment of the 007 series with MGM.
Bond regulars Neal Purvis and Robert Wade are writing, along with "Frost/Nixon" scribe Peter Morgan. Michael Wilson and Barbara Broccoli are producing. Daniel Craig will reprise his role as 007.
Mendes is already hard at work figuring out how he'll work in wife Kate Winslet and have her make out with Daniel Craig right in front of him, further fulfilling the creepy cuckold fetish he developed half-way through shooting Revolutionary Road.
Jan 5 2010Sandra Bullock Finds Success Despite Ovaries
Today, I Watch Stuff salutes Sandra Bullock for being the first female star to break the $200 million barrier domestically with a film in which they were the only lead. Over the weekend, The Blind Side reached $208.5 million in box office, which is approximately 80% of what the same film would have made with Will Smith in the lead. Congratulations!
Jan 5 2010Sean Penn Back To Stooging
Remember how Sean Penn was going to be Larry in a Farrelly Brothers-directed Three Stooges movie, and then Sean Penn wasn't going to be Larry in a Farrelly Brothers-directed Three Stooges movie because he decided he'd rather stay home and watch his marriage to Princess Bride crumble? Well, he's changed his mind again, and decided he'll go ahead and be Larry in a Farrelly Brothers-directed Three Stooges movie after all:
“We got him back,” Bobby Farrelly told the Track. “He always said he wanted to do it after, you know, taking care of his family.”Allegedly, the Rhode Island-bred bros wanted to replace Penn with Paul Giamatti, but that didn’t pan out. So with their August shoot for “Stooges” DOA, Bobby and brother Peter turned their attention to another project - the lower-budget “Hall Pass,” a comedy starring Owen Wilson .
The funny flick is about a ho-hum hubby whose wife, looking to spice up their sex life, gives him a “pass” to play the field for a week. Hilarity ensues.
Forget this Three Stooges crap--this Hall Pass thing sounds HILARIOUS! For those too dim to immediately suss out that Owen Wilson will desperately struggle with accomplishing his week's task before ultimately reaching the conclusion that he loves his wife too much to sleep with any other woman, this film should prove a laughter-filled affirmation of the institution of marriage. Maybe you don't hate your wife as much as you claim when you drink.
(Thanks, Phijsl)
Jan 5 2010So Close To Seeing Sweet Avatar Love-Making
If you haven't seen Avatar, or couldn't deduce from the trailers, the alien lady and the pseudo-alien guy get a little H & H (hot and heavy) over the course of the film. Ultimately, to the dismay of the horny, the full act (SEX) was never shown, but in a recent interview, James Cameron revealed he did cut an S-scene that may find its way to the DVD, saying:
We had it in and we cut it out. So that will be something for the special edition DVD, if you want to see how they have sex.
Zoe Saldana, one half of the alien copulation team, added some specifics:
If you sync to your banshee and you’re syncing to a tree, why not sync into a person? I almost feel like you’ll have the most amazing orgasm, I guess. It was a very funny scene to shoot because there were so many technical things that sometimes you have to keep in mind that paying attention to all those might disrupt the fluidity of how a scene is supposed to take place.
My Avatar erotic fan-fiction just got so much more detailed.
Jan 5 2010Arnold Schwarzenegger Compilation
I don't know why it took so long for this 2007 relic to cross my e-desk, but here it is. At last, Arnold Schwarzenegger joins The Coasters for a stirring rendition of "Yakety Yak."
And because anyone who's seen Twins will now be furious at the flagrant omission, here's Arnold singing "Yakety Yak" for real:
Jan 5 2010John Travolta Has a Bazooka: 'From Paris with Love' Trailer
What do you think this is about?
a. John Travolta as whatever G.I. Joe had a rocket launcher
b. John Travolta as Kane from the Command & Conquer series
c. John Travolta chewing the scenery so hard that he looks like Marmaduke ruining a shoe
d. Terrorists!
Video answer:
Continue Reading "John Travolta Has a Bazooka: 'From Paris with Love' Trailer"
Jan 5 2010Another 'Dune' Still in Development; 'Taken' Going To Give It a Stab
Despite a 1984 David Lynch film and a more in-depth 2000 miniseries, a proper adaptation of Frank Herbert's 1965 sci-fi epic, Dune, still eludes us. At least according to nerds. They're all, "Ooooooh, I love you, Dune! No one does you justice, Dune! Kiss me, Dune! Mmmm, spices!"
Well, nerds, someone new is going to give it a shot:
Paramount has found a new director for its remake of the sci-fi classic Dune, after Peter Berg dropped off the project in October. The studio has hired Taken helmer Pierre Morel to oversee the movie. Paramount is currently looking for a new writer to incorporate Morel’s vision of the project into the original draft by Quantum of Solace scribe Josh Zetumer. Morel plans to make a very faithful adaptation of the 1965 book by Frank Herbert.
OK, nerds? Get back to worrying about your RAM kernel program modules.
(Thanks, Rosey.)
Jan 4 2010Hollywood, Meet Your Next Leading Man
Movie news is still slow, bogged down with holiday residue, so, hey, let's see if any extremely small humans want to be diminutive action heroes...
Yes, indeed one does:
In an interview with Parade magazine, [Verne Troyer] argued that his 2ft 8in height should not count against him in auditions for lead parts.Troyer, who is best known for his role as Mini-Me in the Austin Powers movies, commented: "I can play the leading man. I can play the action hero, maybe in just a different way. I look at it as, you know, if you set your mind to it, you can do it.
OK, fair enough, Verne. Maybe you're right. Perhaps the fact that you're so small that any fighting you take part in--as the Austin Powers films have clearly demonstrated--is so ridiculous it's automatically infused with comedy shouldn't count against you for lead parts in action films. But shouldn't this...?
Jan 4 2010'Orphanage' Remake Gets New Man to Place Child's Head in Sack
Prepare to be terrified of bag-head boys who have been placed in institutionalized care... again! The Orphanage is getting a remake that would make all the Spanish dialogue English, and the director of Arlington Road, 7 episodes of Cold Case, and U2 3D (the first film to realize Bono's ego on the z-axis) is in talks to take this thing on:
Mark Pellington is headed to "The Orphanage," New Line's remake of the Spanish-language ghost tale "El Orfanato."The director's in negotiations to helm the U.S. redo with Guillermo del Toro and ContraFilm toppers Beau Flynn and Tripp Vinson attached to produce. Script is written by Larry Fessenden and Del Toro.
The original "Orphanage" stars Belen Rueda ("The Sea Inside") as a woman who takes over the orphanage where she was raised, to open a home for disabled children. Then her young son begins to play with the same imaginary friend who terrorized her when she was a child.
Del Toro was creative supervisor on the 2007 original, directed by Juan Antonio Bayona and produced by Rodar y Rodar and Telecinco Cinema in collaboration with Warner Bros. Pictures Espana.
As much as I hate the idea of remaking foreign films for U.S. audiences, I think we needed this. Since The Orphan has fallen out of the public eye, I've been starting to worry orphans are once again beginning to be seen in a pitiable, empathetic light. We desperately need something new to remind us to be fearful and ever-vigilant against these small, parentless people.
Jan 4 2010'Space Battleship Yamato' Live-Action Teaser: So Many Lasers
I know next to nothing about the anime Space Battleship Yamato aside from it being about a battleship that is in space, but I do know from this teaser that the live-action adaptation will have a Japanese generic sea captain stereotype and a ship that fires about ten-thousand lasers at once, and therefore I am sold.
L@@K:
Continue Reading "'Space Battleship Yamato' Live-Action Teaser: So Many Lasers"
Jan 4 2010Cast Your Eyes Upon Mr. Pricklepants
The fans demanded a sort of Alpine bear in a grandma wig be in the next Toy Story, and Pixar has complied. A new Toy Story 3 sneak peek has revealed a first look at Mr. Pricklepants, a stuffed hedgehog character voiced by decent-Bond, great-villain Timothy Dalton that will debut in the sequel.
Hear how debonair this little freak sounds under the cut.
Jan 4 2010Weekend Box Office: It's Avatar! Again!
In the box office this weekend, Avatar maintained the top spot yet again, earning the highest gross ever in a third weekend and highest for New Year's Day. The gal-ditches-her-uptight-fiance-for-laid-back-guy romantic comedy Leap Year comes out next week, though, so this can't last forever, Avatar.
Here's the top five:
1. Avatar - $68.3 million. Within the week, it's expected to surpass Return of the King and Dead Man's Chest in worldwide box office, placing the film in second place behind a fellow James Cameron film, Titanic. Just goes to show how effective playing sci-fi MadLibs with a Pocahontas book report can be.
2. Sherlock Holmes - $38.4 million. Will this film have enough influence on future perception of the fictional detective to force a more action-oriented take on how Data and Geordi act out Holmes on the holodeck in the 24th century? Find out on the next episode of Starrrrr Trek: The Next Generation.
3. Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel - $36.6 million. Squeaky Squeak Year!
4. It's Complicated - $18.7 million. It's the pointless Facebook relationship status like you've never seen it before: with old people!
5. The Blind Side - $12.7 million Up over ten percent. In its seventh week. I suspect practical magic is at play, Sandra Bullock.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
