Dec 18 2009Most Fictional Crimes Can Be Solved with Enough Enhancement

Looking at raw images is for jerks. You gotta enhance that shit.

(Thanks, Finnegan.)

Reader Comments

Classic.... nothing like a little dramatic "Enhancing" to make a scene that more dramatic.

In fairness to Stargate, they were looking at live feedback from a probe, not a previously captured image, so it remains the perfect movie.

That is some serious porn watching captured on screen.

yeah, really missed a big one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R94jWItg95w

Ramathorn: Enhance....enhance...enhance...
O'Hagan: JUST PRINT THE DAMN THING

They left out Supertroopers.

Damn. Beat to the punch.

The 'enhance the reflected image in the victim's eye' has got to be the best.

Yes, I'm sure that the black and white, tape's-been-used-36-times-because-the-boss-is-cheap, loop tape would totally pick up on something 1/32 of an inch wide.

i wanna enhance my ween

Yeah they missed that huge one from super Troopers. COMEDY.

Also, THIS: http://nedroid.com/2009/12/crime-lab/

The best thing is that this process is not yet possible, you can enlarge images but you can never get the quality these dweebs always seem to find. It's like the cheap copout to solving a crime rather than actually solving it.

I think the "rotate 360 degrees" is the best, unless they had 100 CCTV cameras setup this is impossible. Obviously.

Ironically enough, one of the most retarded shows on television Squidbillies called this shit out.

This one is very good also : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uoM5kfZIQ0

excellent!

Hysterical! Give Blade Runner a break, though, that's science fiction.

So did anyone mention Super Tro... oh. Nevermind.

"rotating" the image always gets me. Madness.

@ Fiona: That was MacGyver not Stargate lol

this has ALWAYS pissed me the hell off, too many of my favorite shows and movies have bullshitted their way thru scenes exactly like this (some included here!). smh

Stargate is proper crap!

Thank you for sharing this wonderful

This one is good: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUFkb0d1kbU

@ Dr-Horrible: The final shot is from the original Stargate movie.

I still think BladeRunner shoulda made the cut

I've been a professional photographer for 33 years. I've never used photoshop for anything outside of messing around, but about a month ago one of our reporters asked me if I could take the picture and "just turn the guy's head a little". I just laughed.
I also stopped watching CSI after an episode where they find the killer based on his reflection in the eye of someone's picture that he took. Unless he took it with the hubble telescope, this is impossible. I also blame shows like this for 90% of the stupid questions interns ask me on a daily basis.

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