'New Moon' and Other Non-Abstinence-Vampire Films Open This Weekend
Films for those with an unnatural obsession with Robert Pattinson and those without such an affliction hit theaters this weekend. Here are your options:
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Director: Chris Weitz
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
Good if you want to see: you know full well exactly what this is. You can stop pretending.
Planet 51
Director: Jorge Blanco, Javier Abad
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Seann William Scott, Jessica Biel
Good if you want to see: a Twilight Zone-esque "it turns out man is the alien!" concept mixed with E.T. and crammed into the broad, animated family comedy mold; the cast of The Rundown vocally reunited for some reason
The Blind Side
Director: John Lee Hancock
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Quinton Aaron
Good if you want to see: Sandra Bullock forcing her way through a Southern accent to show how rich, white, trophy wives are capable of changing the lives of a poor, black kid if the kid is giant enough to be good at football; the exchange, "You're changin' that boy's life," "No... he's changin' mine" (oof!); an explanation for the shot in the trailer where the biological son and foster son are high-fiving over a table covered in assorted condiments (if you find that out, please tell me personally)
Broken Embraces (limited)
Director: Pedro Almodóvar
Starring: Penélope Cruz
Good if you want to see:an Almodóvar film. If you're into his stuff, go for it; if not, don't. If you don't know, see Talk to Her or something first, OK?
Red Cliff (limited)
Director: John Woo
Starring: Tony Leung Chiu Wai, Tekeshi Kaneshiro, other names you probably won't recognize
Good if you want to see: some huge battles between old fashioney Chinese warriors; some warlords and generals talking with subtitles to explain why all these huge battles keep happening
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (limited)
Director: Werner Herzog
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Eva Mendes
Good if you want to see: who know what you'll see in a semi-remake of Bad Lieutenant directed by Werner Herzog and starring Nicolas Cage (besides the imaginary iguanas seen in the trailer)? It's probably going to be pretty strange, though.