'Last Song' Trailer: Miley Cyrus Gets Her Shot at Bland Teenage Drama
Britney Spears had Crossroads; Mandy Moore had A Walk to Remember; now Miley Cyrus (or is it Hannah Montana when she's acting?) gets her shot at moving from pop songs to insipid melodrama with The Last Song. Based on a Nicholas Sparks book--like A Walk to Remember--the film seems to be about Cyrus/Montana visiting father Greg Kinnear's beach house, meeting a boy, kissing that boy, and the boy executing the fucking strangest, most puzzling romantic gestures he can muster. It's like watching a girl fall in love with a handsome psychotic:
How did I never think of writing "forever" on a girl's shoe? It would be so romantic as she tries to figure out why I would possibly ruin her sneaker in such a creepy, obtuse way. It's like I've labeled her with my calling card, as I do all my victims! FOREVER. Or tracing her body in seashells? God, so beautiful. It's like she's a washed up corpse being investigated by a merman detective. This film is like a guidebook to pronouncing your love in utterly baffling ways. Thanks, Miley!