'Tooth Fairy' Trailer: Dwayne Johnson Gobbles Up Vin Diesel's Leavings
It's hard to put into words exactly how unfortunately bad Disney's Tooth Fairy looks from this trailer, so I'm just going to try laying out the major plot points, and maybe enough of the awfulness will ooze through to prepare you for what you're about to see.
1. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is a hockey player so good at knocking out teeth that he gets to sit in a customized, ice-side recliner during penalties.
2. The new young, hotshot hockey player thinks Rock is old.
3. The Rock informs a young fan that being a professional hockey player is a very high aspiration.
4. It is revealed the Rock does not believe in the tooth fairy.
5. The Rock becomes a tooth fairy.
6. The Rock undergoes a fairy boot camp (allowing opportunities for him being hit in the balls).
7. Miracle Max gives Rock magic things.
8. The Rock decides to forgo the magic things, instead dressing up in hockey pads for some reason.
9. The Rock uses his invisibility spray to haunt the young hotshot player.
10. Somehow all this teaches Rock a lesson
Even Tim Allen wouldn't do this movie, and he's essentially done this movie several times:
In fairness, it's pretty impressive how the trailer's tooth-loss theme reiterates itself when you realize how hard you're grinding your teeth.
