October 11, 2009 - October 17, 2009 Archives
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Where else could you go from this point? There's no combination of elements that would be more ridiculous than this title, Jackie Chan equipped with grappling hook and laser pointer, the tagline "spying is easy, babysitting is hard," children, a pig, and the names Billy Ray Cyr... / Continue →
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Though still refusing to describe Spider-Man 3 as a "bullshit clusterfuck" (the only truly accurate way to describe it), director Sam Raimi admitted to the Coventry Telegraph that some of the criticism of his superhero film might have been accurate, and promised a back-to-basic... / Continue →
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You may have seen Meg Ryan find love by way of radio show, AOL emails, Einstein, and probably hundreds of other ways, but there's one method of Ryanlove still unexplored: Meg Ryan finds love by way of Stockholm Syndrome. Until now! From director Larry David's Fictional Wife, it... / Continue →
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Because parody movies are often our best source of ideas for actual movies, Martin Lawrence and Jamie Foxx have decided to turn Skank Robbers, a spoof trailer the two made for the BET Awards, into a real movie. Foxx apparently confirmed the news this morning on Ryan Seacrest's ... / Continue →
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I don't get it. Why are Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson being played by Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin? Nancy Meyers is getting so post-modern. 'It's Complicated' Poster [IMPA]... / Continue →
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From the confused, a-man-wearing-a-dress-is-automatically-hysterical mentality that brought you Sorority Boys comes... untitled comedy project about Ryan Reynolds wearing a dress! Working title reportedly paid "high six figures against seven figures" for the concept, which is ... / Continue →
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Red Riding, a British adaptation of David Peace's Red Riding Quartet, aired on Channel 4 as a three-part miniseries in March. That was like seven months ago, though--that shit is old!--and, even more offensive, it stars Britons! Yuck! Who wants to see them!? Their voices are sl... / Continue →
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Come on, this is just being stubborn now. We all know any film about a couple who doesn't belong in the country will eventually be advertised with an image of said couple imitating American Gothic. For Richer or Poorer knew it. Son in Law knew it. I've been waiting for it since... / Continue →
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Does the promise of a Ghostbusters 3 fill you with the same emotional mix of childlike excitement and fear of failure that you get when you realize a girl will actually sleep with you? (Is that just me?) Worry less, worrier: we have a self-appointed protector of the Ghostbuster... / Continue →
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Where the Wild Things Are Director: Spike Jonze Starring: Max Records, James Gandolfini, Catherine Keener Good if you want to see: the illustrated monsters of your childhood come to life, and perpetually backlit with sunlight; childlike wonderment; me openly weeping in a crowd ... / Continue →
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Things you'll be glad you get to hear Mel Gibson say with a questionable Boston accent in the trailer for the new cop-investigating-his-daughter's-government-tied-murder thriller, Edge of Darkness: - "Welcome to hell!" - "I'm the guy with nothin' to lose!" - "Fasten your sea... / Continue →
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That's not a criticism. I'm just thinking that if we could replace the Orson Welles and Claire Danes portraits with people who are more relevant--say, Robert Pattinson and a fictional hybrid of Robert Pattinson and Zac Efron--I think we could have a bestselling jacket on our ha... / Continue →
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Here's a new interview with Wes Anderson in which the director talks briefly about the production of The Fantastic Mr. Fox and, for those who are scandal-minded, the accusations made by his director of photography. Basically, those kind of conflicts tend to happen on movie sets... / Continue →
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Joining Spider-Man and Werewolf in the ranks of team-ups I didn't see coming but could see working out pretty well, Gus Van Sant and Bret Easton Ellis have decided to collaborate on adapting the Vanity Fair article "The Golden Suicides" into a new film script. Variety, please e... / Continue →
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Tie a black rubber band around your beards, friends. "Captain" Lou Albano, professional wrestler, manager, actor, and, with Cyndi Lauper, occasional gas station owner/father, died today at 76. In tribute to this rotund great, let's take a moment to "do the Mario":... / Continue →
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Jack Ryan, the Tom Clancy character that's been played on screen by Alec Baldwin (Hunt for Red October), Harrison Ford (Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger), and Ben Affleck (whatever the one with Ben Affleck in it as called) has a new classically handsome face. Variety rep... / Continue →
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Why is a Prince of Persia movie being made? Good question. Answer: because, six years ago, Jordon Mechner, a writer on the Prince of Persia series of games, used game footage to piece together a pitch trailer for what he envisioned as a film. Jerry Bruckheimer took note, decide... / Continue →
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And I'm almost out of me! Luckily, this natural resource preciousness switchover apparently doesn't take place until 2019, when Sam Neill and his vampire legions start harvesting our blood. So, until then, time to decide: what is our most precious resource? Here are your optio... / Continue →
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Possible inspirations for this poster: - Herpes medication commercial imagery - '70s teen romance novel covers - The ancient myth of the Two-Headed Asshole From High School - A Getty Image search for "romance" - True (clichéd) love - Whatever would be most likely to get y... / Continue →
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Nice try, Sylvester Stallone. I'm sure you'd like us all to believe this promotional trailer is for an actual movie that you're supposedly making. But I know a viral video that compiles every clichéd '80s action movie scene ever made into a fake trailer when I see one, and this... / Continue →
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Seeing that there are only a few days until Where the Wild Things Are's release, I'd planned to hold off on posting any more photos from the film. That was before I knew a photo existed of a dismal goat boy weeping in a chair. Obviously, that needs to be shared with the world, ... / Continue →
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Director Wes Anderson is known for his attention to detail (like I claim to be known for in job interviews) and eccentric, extremely particular production design. I think it's safe to say that working as a subordinate to him (being forced to construct specially modified Adidas ... / Continue →
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Man, how long have we been waiting for a live-action Hobbit movie? Ever since we pretended to read The Hobbit for a middle school book report? Since we saw the Lord of the Rings movies? Since we again pretended we'd read The Hobbit after the Lord of the Rings movies came out? R... / Continue →
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The Tom Cruise/Cameron Diaz romantic-comedy-action film once titled Wichita, née Trouble Man, has a new title. Variety reports 20th Century Fox has decided that Knight & Day is an even better title than either of those previous, completely unrelated titles. I'm just going to g... / Continue →
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That last X-Men movie: that was a real stinker, eh? That was the kind of shitcake X-Man that makes you really appreciate the X-Men movies you used to have in the old days (between 2000 and 2003). Doesn't it? Bryan Singer must realize that too--that his two pretty-decent X-Men ... / Continue →
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That promo--the worst ever made--is for Splatter, a Netflix original series (sounds good already!) starring Corey Feldman as--who else?--Johnny Splatter. That comes out Halloween weekend, if you're interested. And why wouldn't you be? A bizarre Corey Feldman mutter-suicide is v... / Continue →
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We're just sitting on an Independence Day 2 (ID8?) story and doing nothing with it??? YES. In an interview with Latin Review, director Roland Emmerich revealed he has a story and the desire to put Bill Pullman back in the White House, but Fox doesn't want to pay Will Smith to ... / Continue →
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Departing from his glammy, britpop safety zone, Jarvis Cocker recorded a short banjo-and-"boing"-based tune called "Petey's Song" for The Fantastic Mr. Fox, and it can now be put in your ears on Guardian. If you're at all familiar with Cocker or his longtime band, Pulp, I think... / Continue →
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Ut oh, toys! Andy has reached the age of 18, which, as we all know, is the age when a young man finally stops playing with wooden cowboys, packs up for college, and starts listening to somber Randy Newman songs to indicate the gravity of the situation. Andy's mom, like my dad, ... / Continue →
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Your weekend top five: 1. Couples Retreat - $35.3 million. Given no other new options, audiences did what they always do and paid their $10-12 for whatever abysmal thing they were given. 2. Zombieland - $15 million. More than laughter, I was glad this movie provided me the kn... / Continue →
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Perhaps you've heard the story of Moses in the Bible, or in Cecil B. DeMille's 1956 film The Ten Commandments. And if you have, then you know those are totally boring, made by old fogies, and completely irrelevant to this generation's youth. Where's the awesome Moses story that... / Continue →
