Sep 11 2009The Dude and Coens Reuniting in Hostile Indian Territory

It's the reunion you've begged for ever since you were stoned watching Big Lebowski and muttered, "EVERY movie should be with The Dude and Coen Bros." Jeff Bridges is in talks to take on the role that won John Wayne an Oscar in the Coens' remake of True Grit. Variety adds:

The picture, which also reunited the Coens with their “No Country for Old Men” producing partner Scott Rudin, has been redrafted by the Coens to be more faithful to the Charles Portis novel that the original film was based on.

In it, a 14 year old girl tags along with an aging U.S. marshal and another lawman to track the outlaw who killed her father. The trail leads them into hostile Indian territory. The original told the story from Cogburn’s vantage point, but the new version will work from the viewpoint of the young girl. Kim Darby played the young girl in the original, and Glen Campbell played the other lawman.

As much as I like Jeff Bridges, I'm not sure he has the grit quotient for the part. I mean, we're talking a role once filled by JOHN WAYNE. Sand in your teeth doesn't have as much grit at that guy. If we're going to be remaking John Wayne movies, we first need to get in the lab, do the research, and invent an actor made of pure testosterone. Though, there's always the risk that trying to make a lab-made human out of testosterone could end up just creating a giant, sentient testicle, putting us in a worse position than we are now.

Man, I would not want to be the one to make that call. (The call whether or not to create a pure testosterone thespian, knowing the risks of birthing a giant, conscious testicle.)