Sep 23 2009'Stan Helsing' Trailer: The Unofficial, Straight-to-Video 'Scary Movie 5'
Here's a trailer that within moments will make you ask, "Dear god, who is making something this terrible?" and then promptly answer, "One of the guys who brought you Scary Movie [obviously]!"
As the title implies, Stan Helsing focuses on a terrible parody of Van Helsing (played by someone who appears to be Mark McGrath dressed as Axl Rose) fighting terrible parodies of Freddy, Jason, Pinhead, Chucky, Michael Myers, and Leatherface (Fweddy, Mason, Needlehead, Lucky, Michael Criers and Pleatherface--seriously). And since one clearly needs assistance for such a daunting, sure-to-be-hilarious task, he brings along two babes and Kenan Thompson in a Superman suit.
It looks even worse than that sounds. As in it begins with a joke about how, with enough forced grunting, pumping and spraying a Super Soaker is reminiscent of masturbating and ejaculating:
At least this updates the answer to the age-old question, "Is Leslie Nielsen still alive and will he still do absolutely any spoof movie presented to him?": "Yes and yes, and now in drag."
Reader Comments
1. kel - September 23, 2009 4:00 PM
shouldn't this movie have come out shortly after Van Helsing - what, like 8 years ago?
2. JON - September 23, 2009 4:14 PM
this movie looks like a boobfest, and since no one here will try to capture PG-13 folks, the boobfest will be well in R territory.. now, if you offer me a stupid comedy with all possible villains and ton of hot chicks showing boobs - i will not say no to it.. i even will say yes.. rental commerciall success guaranteed !
3. John - September 23, 2009 5:26 PM
So basically... ... ... ok, yeah, world? coming to an end.
4. Some guy - September 23, 2009 6:04 PM
I laughed zero times.
This is honestly some goddamn pathetic shit.
5. luvGun - September 23, 2009 7:55 PM
perfect, yes, i love it and will watch it. i will buy it for ten bucks at amazon
and give it a tug now and then. it will be a booty call in my movie collection.
6. bojangles - September 23, 2009 10:34 PM
what kind of dim witted retard could find any of this even slightly funny?
7. Trip Fontaine - September 23, 2009 11:41 PM
Holy stinkfist batman. There wasn't one scene that looked even slightly funny, and that's the trailer. Imagine the mediocrity contained in the rest of this masterpiece. *Shudder*
8. PropaGanja - September 24, 2009 5:39 AM
It took them 8 years to come up with this title, and it doesn't even make sense in regards to the subject matter... Just call it Scary Movie 5 and try to not think about this 'movie' ever again...
9. che-che - September 24, 2009 10:51 AM
GOOD BURGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
10. mattk - September 25, 2009 10:20 AM
# 8 has a point.
11. punch yourself - September 25, 2009 8:31 PM
I'm guessing that Kenan Thompson did this movie as part of his community service for his marijuana charges last year. (Not to say his imdb page is littered with masterpieces, but this makes "Good Burger" look like it deserved an Oscar.)
12. Canni Bal - September 26, 2009 1:26 PM
Well, if this is what's funny now-I've lost contact with the world. Good luck you guys! I'm gonna go kill myself, if that's what's funny I have no reason to live.
13. scrotumbagmonkeyflicker - September 27, 2009 4:39 AM
......................................
14. E - September 28, 2009 10:52 AM
Meh....... fart.
15. rob - September 29, 2009 1:30 AM
did anyone else notice that everything in this movie is just something that sounds like something else? (shindler's fist, pleatherface, the fucking name of the movie)
16. Mask - September 29, 2009 8:13 PM
trassssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh + leslie nielson.
17. Annoyed - September 29, 2009 9:05 PM
They should have quit with Scary Movie 3. Not that I didn't like 4 but after the first half it just got ridiculous. And Meet The Spartans, Epic Movie and all those others just failed. And Leslie Nielson used to be in funny shit. Hopefully the reason that it's from ONE of the guys who brought us Scary Movie, is because everyone else was like, "screw that."
18. frank - October 1, 2009 5:26 AM
I don't care how little money they spent on this (and it doesn't look like much), it's too much.
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