Sep 29 2009'New Moon' Posters: The Most Thorougly Unlikable Collection of Faces
Summit has released some new posters for The Twilight Saga: New Moon, amassing all the main characters in three one-sheets, making it very convenient to decide whose expression deems them most worthy of being slapped in the face over and over and over. Convenient, yes, but definitely not easy. This decision is far from easy. Just when you think the dubious goddammer in the upper-right has it locked, that he's definitely the one to slap and slap and slap, you notice all these guys making a strong case to also be slapped:
The guy on the right of the Dakota Fanning poster would be a great Halloween costume.
(From Yahoo Movies)
Reader Comments
1. tom cruise - September 29, 2009 5:04 PM
so, what, they're like vampires or something?
2. Fiona - September 29, 2009 5:22 PM
Last one looks like a Harry Potter parody
3. incorrect - September 29, 2009 5:49 PM
Which is the Dakota Fanning poster? They all look like her...
4. James - September 29, 2009 5:59 PM
@3, hey now.
Dakota Fanning looks like she showers daily.
Even her poster has less stink-haze than the other two.
5. jimbob - September 29, 2009 6:21 PM
My god, has Robert Pattinson always had such a ginormous head? Looks like an Easter Island tourism board poster.
6. killswitch - September 29, 2009 6:49 PM
I think I liked the Human Centipede topic better that this.
7. me - September 29, 2009 6:53 PM
A) Dawson's Creek
B) The newer, angrier Mario Lopez. (WTF was his character's name???)
C) Interview with a Vampire
8. me - September 29, 2009 6:55 PM
Actually, they all remind me of a bad "Charmed" promo image.
9. Bean - September 29, 2009 6:58 PM
Can't I just line them all up and slap 'em Stooge style, like a stick on a picket fence?
10. cross marketing genius - September 29, 2009 7:16 PM
Can we somehow get Barbie in this?
11. scott - September 29, 2009 7:30 PM
@7
A.C. Slater
Why are all the werewolves vaguely mexican?
12. Kiaya - September 29, 2009 8:02 PM
@11 me thinks they're supposed to be native Americans, but Mexican actors were cheaper..
13. Bubba Gump - September 29, 2009 11:40 PM
Bobblehead Pattinson
14. dunno - September 30, 2009 8:10 AM
@14: I dunno what the flip you are on about...
Anyways:
It seems someone forgot to erase the guide-lines in the "new moon" logo portion of the poster. It did seem to help get the letters nice and centered!
Or is that somehow hip and edgy?
I, dunno
15. Cinema Obsessed - September 30, 2009 9:51 AM
These look great! Can't believe they didn't put Jacob on the first poster though.. he's so important to the story of New Moon. And to all the haters, give this one a chance... the story is not as cheesey, and this is actually the point in the series where things get darker and less corny. And more action!
16. Fork-o-fork - September 30, 2009 10:56 AM
To be honest I have read these books (but not the first one because it was poop). The later books are good. However, I think the movies are still trash. I'm looking forward to the movie of her non-vampire related "The Host".
17. Hal - September 30, 2009 2:03 PM
God bless you 14.) and 16.) - as much as I love being snarky your unflappable love of this almost makes me accept that Hollywood makes as much stoopid shit targeting tween girls now as the coveted 13-40 year old arrested development male target audience gets! HAVING SAID THAT... I still think these look like high school club photos in front of a painted backdrop. CLASS OF VAMPIRE / WEREWOLF HIGH 2009!!!!!
18. Drbendy - September 30, 2009 4:37 PM
"Too....Much.....Cheek.....Bones"
19. Amber - September 30, 2009 4:39 PM
They are all actually vaguely Indian, because they are actually Indian in the books. They aren't actually vaguely Mexican because they are all - actually - Indian. Genius.
20. Scruff Mcgruff - September 30, 2009 5:09 PM
Hey! i love twilight.... if it wasn't for all the terrible dialogue, horrible make-up, shitty camera angles and homo erotic vampire fight scenes, i dont know what i would live for.
21. Lolly - September 30, 2009 7:13 PM
I mean. I don't understand how anyone could take these movies seriously. Just LOOK at those posters.
22. HORF - September 30, 2009 7:51 PM
@20
SOMEbody's from a town that's 95% white.
23. frank - October 1, 2009 4:15 AM
It's like Harry Potter and Twilight are competing for the shittiest poster prize. Right now Twilight is winning. I mean GOD these are awful. And the book covers were so nice.
24. Captain - October 1, 2009 8:23 AM
Must See!!!
http://alturl.com/obg7
__________________
25. Sueyo - October 1, 2009 11:40 AM
Wow, how the hell can people say Twilight has such a great ensemble? They're all revolting, including Pattinson, with his overgrown, bony head, one side of which looks eerily inconsistent with the other.
26. Mister Mean As Hell - October 1, 2009 9:12 PM
I love that they put "Saga" on the poster. This fan girl aimed crap is getting on my last nerves. Vampires are old shit, and we still find some way to package them as sexy and fresh instead of rehashed like we know they are. If any of these people have a career after these movies it'll be in either Porn or Pixar, because any sensible company executive will take a look at their prior body of work and say:
"Oh, you were in that vampire series people liked,". Then they'll sip their coffee and say "Well we got a new CGI cartoon version of The Mummy coming out on DVD next month. Brendan Fraser wouldn't touch it, so we brought in Dan Castellaneta to play the lead role. We need someone to play the loveable, jive talking monkey sidekick, Foo Cho. Got any experience playing cartoon monkeys? We want him to be kind of gangster, to attract the urban youths."
You heard me predict the future, you know it's true. --Mister Mean as Hell
27. cool-slayer - October 3, 2009 8:55 AM
I know it's tough to choose between all these idiots, but by god, if that guy in the top right of the first poster isn't begging to get the stupid slapped out of him, I don't know what he's doing.
28. Ashlee - November 6, 2009 10:59 PM
I watched the first Twilight the day after it came out for free at http://www.watchfreelinks.com/ and they said the will have New Moon up the day after it premiers so just giving all you fans a heads up in case you didnt already know.