Aug 12 2009Anne Frank's Diary Being Re-Written in Mamet Speak
David Mamet, one of the few writer/directors I trust not to try to somehow update the story to include micro-blogging, has signed on to write and direct a film version of The Diary of Anne Frank. Now 8th grade teachers will definitively know when their kids watched the movie instead of reading the book when a student notes Frank's "terse, clever, edgy dialogue":
The film will be an amalgamation of the famed diary; the stage adaptation by Albert Hackett and Frances Goodrich; and Mamet's own original take on the material that could reframe the story as a young girl's rite of passage. Frank, who died at 15 in the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp, became an icon of the Holocaust after the post-war publication of the diary that she kept during the two years that her family hid in a secret attic apartment in Amsterdam.
In light of this news, I'll be spending the next several days mentally adapting famous Mamet quotes to fit into the The Diary of Anne Frank.
"A.B.H.: Always Be Hiding!"
"Everyone hates Nazis; that's why we call them Nazis!"
Feel free to continue in the comments.
David Mamet takes on 'Anne Frank' [Variety]
Reader Comments
1. drdilostues - August 12, 2009 12:52 PM
There's no business like Shoah business.
2. anonymous - August 12, 2009 12:56 PM
Coffee is for survivors!
3. catch22 - August 12, 2009 1:12 PM
all i can think of is the hilary duff version from robot chicken
4. FuzzyBean - August 12, 2009 1:55 PM
Because I don't like Jew.
5. tom - August 12, 2009 1:56 PM
NAZI OFFICER
What is your name little girl?
ANNE
Fuck you, that's my name!
6. Peter Friend - August 12, 2009 2:00 PM
I still fucking believe, in spite of fucking everything, that people are really fucking good at heart.
7. Pat - August 12, 2009 2:28 PM
You talk about an ambush? YOU TALK ABOUT AN AMBUSH! I just ambushed you with a cup of coffee!
8. The Happy Warrior - August 12, 2009 2:32 PM
No one's mentioned Spartan yet?
"Where's the girl?"
No adaptation necessary.
9. Gwar - August 12, 2009 3:09 PM
First place is a Cadillac El Dorado. Second place is a set of steak knives. Third place is ZEE SHOWERZ
10. Mitch - August 12, 2009 4:29 PM
You're nothing but a lot of talk and an armband!
11. ThePJN - August 12, 2009 4:40 PM
Another which requires no tinkering, from Homicide:
"Fuckin' politics, man, nuthin' but politics. Motherfucker called me a kike."
He should seriously put that one in.
12. pstone - August 12, 2009 4:46 PM
just replace Nazi with Cobra and Allied troops with G.I. Joe and you've got the perfect sequel.
13. therush - August 12, 2009 5:48 PM
#2 wins. LOL.
14. Phil - August 12, 2009 6:09 PM
Anne: Nice day for the race.
Nazi: What race is that?
Anne: The human race. Kids growing up, so on. Hope for the future.
Nazi: Get in the fucking car!
15. DarkCoopLord - August 12, 2009 7:12 PM
nazis have shitty wigs.
16. jumpin_j - August 12, 2009 10:57 PM
Nazi Officer: I hate my job.
17. mattk - August 13, 2009 8:39 AM
My girl's so cool, sheep count HER.
18. queensley - August 13, 2009 2:19 PM
PETER: What. What are you doing? You're doing this?
ANNE: Yes.
PETER: You're writing.
ANNE: Yes.
PETER: You're writing this what.
ANNE: Will you... Diary, yes. I'm writing this diary. (pause)
PETER: Am I in it? I'm in it. Fuck.
ANNE: No, I just...
PETER: Fuck.
ANNE: If you... you'll just... Look, a diary is a what? It's a thing. A thing. Like a potato. Like a Jew. I'm a Jew, this is a diary, and so what who cares?
PETER: I care.
ANNE: You don't care.
PETER: I care. Can I read it?
ANNE: You don't care. You want to care, you want people to think you care, but you don't care. It's a feeling you think you should have, but for who?
PETER: For who?
ANNE: For who is this feeling? Like the cat. We have this cat - you have this cat - and it, no, it doesn't want to be in an attic. It isn't Jewish, but here it is anyway, you see? Do you see?
PETER: The cat is a thing.
ANNE: Yes, yes. The cat is a thing. Do you see?
PETER: Like a diary.
ANNE: Like, ok, yes. But...
PETER: ...I don't want to be here...
ANNE: ..and, ok, you don't, but we're here, and I'm supposed to what? So I have a potato, which is also a thing, and I write...
PETE: About the cat.
ANNE: ...Which is... Yes, also the cat...
PETER: Can I read it?
ANNE: Can you read it?
PETER: Can I read it? Yes I want to read it, can I read it?
ANNE: Fuck.
19. frank - August 13, 2009 10:01 PM
Damn, I only got ABH and coffee is for survivors. I need to watch some more David Mamet.
20. J.Rai - August 14, 2009 4:23 PM
I gotta say I'm impressed with the readership's knowledge of the material and cleverness. Over at the Superficial it'd be mostly comments about "Yeah but what's she written LATELY?"