Aug 21 2009A Kids in the Hall Comedy Murder Mystery: Put It in My Hand
This sounds like something I want to feed my brain-mouth! The original Kids in the Hall are reuniting to an eight-part murder mystery mini-series, full of all the cross-dressing and comedy we've come to expect from the KitH brand! From Twitch:
A departure from sketch comedy, "Death Comes to Town" is an eight-part comic murder mystery. When Death gets off the Greyhound bus in small town Shuckton, Ontario, the entire town is drawn in when one of its most distinguished citizens is found murdered. As a suspect is arrested and the trial plays out, the entire town is affected and its dark secrets are unraveled and exposed.Though not the sketch comedy that made the Kids famous around the world, Death Comes to Town will feature the original five Kids in the Hall, Dave Foley, Bruce McCulloch, Kevin McDonald, Mark McKinney, and Scott Thomson, all playing multiple characters, men and woman, all distinctively quirky, gender-bending, boundary pushing and definitively Kids in the Hall.
Principal photography will continue in North Bay until early October with broadcast scheduled on the CBC for January 2010.
GOD, why does the CBC get everything good? They've got this... some extra hockey game broadcasts... probably some other things.
Welp, you boys down at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation better start watching my modem traffic bytes real well come January, because I'm telling you right now I'll be illegally downloading every episode I can. Try and catch me; I've got fireshields. Or, if someone in Canada wants to mail me Tivos, that would work too.
In the meantime, I'll be amusing myself with these classic Kids in the Hall sketches...
Continue Reading "A Kids in the Hall Comedy Murder Mystery: Put It in My Hand"
Aug 21 2009'Twilight' Director Understands Love in Every Monster Language
Now that director Catherine Hardwicke has Twilight behind her, it's time to move on past teenager/vampire romance to something with a bit more gravity: teenager/werewolf romance. From Variety:
The "Twilight" helmer is signing on to Appian Way's "The Girl With the Red Riding Hood."Werewolf movie, written by David Johnson, is a gothic retelling of the Little Red Riding Hood story, with a teenage love triangle at its center.
Hardwicke also has numerous other projects in development at other studios, including Hamlet, If I Stay, 21 Jump Street, and Maximum Ride, though as of now it's unclear how many will involve mummies, skeletons, wraiths, ghouls, or specters in unconvincing love affairs with teenage girls.
Aug 21 2009'Avatar' is Basically 'Delgo 2'
Someone who did a good job noticing things has put together some side-by-side screenshots comparing the new Avatar trailer to the 2008 animated adventure Delgo, and the visual similarities are pretty astounding. Does this mean Delgo is the revolutionary game changer?
(via PopCandy)
Aug 21 2009Bryan Singer to Re-Document Europe's Greatest Sword
Bryan Singer, the man working a confusing reimagining of Battlestar Galactica that disregards Sci Fi's already-reimagined Battlestar Galactica, has announced his intentions for further remaking:
Warner Bros. and Bryan Singer are unsheathing "Excalibur," redoing the 1981 John Boorman movie about King Arthur and the Knights of the Roundtable.The project is still in the early stages, with Warners only tying up the remake rights, which it shares with Boorman. Singer's involvement is still in the talking stage and Legendary Pictures may come aboard the project.
The 1981 movie starred Nigel Terry as Arthur and Cherie Lunghi as Guenevere and featured early performances from Liam Neeson, Patrick Stewart and Gabriel Byrne. The movie told the well-known myth, in a gritty and dramatic fashion, of the young man who draws the sword Excalibur from a stone, is mentored by Merlin, establishes Camelot, loses his wife, Guenevere, to his best friend, Lancelot, and engages in the quest for the Holy Grail.
Now, I don't understand legal mumbo jumbo (I understand it so little that when I say "legal mumbo jumbo," I shake my hands around and kind of make a goofy face, to show how little I understand it), but it seems weird that you'd need the rights to remake Excalibur. Isn't the plot straight-up Arthurian legend? I'm pretty sure you could remake Excalibur and just not tell anyone you've remade Excalibur and, unless you used the exact same script, probably no one would call it out. And if someone did, just say, "Actually, no, this is not a rip-off of Excalibur; my film is influenced by the '90s animated series King Arthur and the Knights of Justice, only I took out the part where Arthur and his knights were all high school football players from the future."
Aug 21 2009Judy Greer Getting Marmaduked
Think how much funnier the above image would be if the dog were really huge! Can you imagine how riotous that would be, with an abnormally large breed of dog? Well, soon you won't have to imagine; that will soon be a partially-computer-generated reality you can choose to experience! Judy Greer, who you may remember repeatedly flashing her breasts in Arrested Development, has signed on to co-star as the nondescript owner-lady in Fox's live-action/CGI adaptation of Marmaduke.
With David Cross taking a part in Alvin and the Chipmunks, and Will Arnett recently appearing in G-Force, it seems like maybe wacky CGI animal movies are an inevitable course for AD alumni. Only a matter of time before we'll probably find Jeffrey Tambor in Heathcliff and Tony Hale in Hong Kong Phooey. Bluth matriarch Jessica Walter really dodged a bullet by somehow not being cast as "old rich lady who owns a chihuahua" in Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
Aug 20 2009'Capitalism: A Love Story' Trailer: It Turns Out This Economic and Political System Has Some Issues
Hey, it's the new trailer for Michael Moore's Capitalism: A Love Story. Hopefully this latest documentary will do as good a job opening eyes to the flaws of capitalism as Sicko did at making everyone realize how obvious it is that all citizens should be afforded health care. That's the national opinion now, right?
Trailer:
Aug 20 2009'Law Abiding Citizen' Poster: Ah, That's a Familiar Sight
This poster nearly perfectly recreates what I see every morning when I stop at the local toy shoppe and covetously stare through their display window at that Lawyer Gear Jamie Foxx doll I want so desperately. I'll have you one day, Jamie Fox doll. One day.
'Law Abiding Citizen' Poster [IMPA]
Aug 20 2009Phew, They Missed! No, Wait, I'm Cut to Pieces
No more having to constantly switch out DVDs just to watch a constant string of scenes where someone gets cut apart so precisely that there are several seconds of stunned silence before the person falls apart at the slice line(s)! This montage makes indulging that base desire a breeze:
Continue Reading "Phew, They Missed! No, Wait, I'm Cut to Pieces"
Aug 20 2009Some Movies Coming Out This Weekend
This weekend, figure out why everyone gets so excited about two hours of synchronized picture and sound by seeing one of these "movies" they're always talking about:
Inglourious Basterds
Director: Quentin Tarantino--HEARD OF HIM?
Starring: Brad Pitt, Eli Roth, Diane Kruger, Ryan from The Office, Mike Myers, strangely enough.
Good if you want to see: extreme violence--but against Nazis, so it's fine; Brad Pitt do an accent; stylized, overly-clever yet usually enjoyable dialogue; mostly killin' Nazis, though.
Post Grad
Director: Vicky Jenson
Starring: The younger Gilmore Girl, Michael Keaton, Carol Burnett
Good if you want to see: a recent college graduate moving back in with her zany family; Sitcom Premise: The Movie.
Shorts
Director: Robert Rodriguez
Starring: Jon Cryer, William H. Macy, a bunch of kids
Good if you want to see: a bunch of kids making fantastical wishes thanks to a magical rainbow rock; some ideas for what to wish for in case you ever find a magical rainbow rock for real (personally, I already have a list started).
X Games 3D: The Movie (limited)
Director: Steve Lawrence
Starring: All these awesome, extreme dudes
Good if you want to see: a guy doing this sweet jump with his BMX and he's comin' like right out of the screen and it's like shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttt!
Aug 20 2009'Extract' Still Being Marketed as a Straight-to-Video National Lampoon's Movie
A new Extract one-sheet has been released and, just as with the previous poster, for some reason the poster-makers have decided to visually assert that the seemingly funny Mike Judge comedy is, in actuality, a straight-to-video National Lampoon's movie. It's like they intentionally left Ben Affleck's photo off the poster so that we wouldn't think the cast was too impressive for a film whose biggest draw is apparently that Mila Kunis looks generally attractive.
IMPA notes that this is Extract's final poster, so I guess we'll never get the obvious next step: Jason Bateman grinning at us between the legs of a bikini-clad woman, just above the tagline, "She'll suck it ALL out."
Aug 20 2009'Wolfman' Trailer: See What Happens When a Man Sometimes Turns Into a Partial Wolf!
The trailer for Joe Johnson's The Wolfman has been released, and I'm pleased to say that, as hoped, the film looks dark, often ominous, and full of grade A special effects and actors. But I can't help but think that maybe the preview could have shown a little bit more of Wolfman's relationship with his high school girlfriend, and how he has to protect her from all the nomadic rival werewolves that want to kill her. What do you think?
Aug 20 2009'Yellow Submarine' Resurfacing to Become a Lurid 'Beowulf'
With Beatles music and likenesses coming to RockBands everywhere next month, allowing me and other talentless idiots to scream into a microphone and pretend we're playing some of the most popular and enduring songs ever written, whoever it is that now has control of the band's rights have decided they might as well dilute the Beatles brand a bit further. Disney and Robert Zemeckis are working out a deal that would allow the motion-capture-loving director to direct a remake of the psychedelic animated classic Yellow Submarine. From Variety:
The studio has been quietly brokering a complicated rights deal that would give Zemeckis access to 16 original Beatles songs for a movie he will direct in the performance-capture 3-D digital production format he employed for “A Christmas Carol.” Disney opens that film November 6, with Jim Carrey playing Scrooge as well as the three ghosts who haunt him in the Charles Dickens tale.The hope is to have "Yellow Submarine" ready to premiere around the 2012 Summer Olympics, which begins July 27 in London.
I can't wait to see how Zemeckis will take these already creepy character designs and make them even more creepy by adding another dimension, lifeless eyes and spotty skin textures.
But I guess this is a good way to show kids in today's drug culture what the previous generation's drug culture was like. It hasn't always been glowsticks, kids: there was a time when the colors themselves were ridiculously bright!
Aug 20 2009'Avatar' Trailer: It Will Destroy Everything You Hold Dear! I Guess.
James Cameron's Avatar is being called everything from "a gamechanger" to "a life destroyer" to "something that will forcefully fill every one of your orifices with three-dimensionalness." The film's first trailer has finally been released, so now you can see what all the fanboy catcalls were all about. I guess the game changing part is that this is the first forest species to look slightly more convincing than Ewoks?
Continue Reading "'Avatar' Trailer: It Will Destroy Everything You Hold Dear! I Guess."
Aug 19 2009'Dirty Dancing' Remake Time
In these modern times, is Baby still safeguarded from corner placement? Time to find out! Production Weekly has revealed that Lionsgate is developing a remake of the 1987 Patrick Swayze/Jennifer Grey/Laws & Order's Jerry Orbach film about dirty dancing, Dirty Dancing. Meaning all those other movies where a guy and girl fall in love while scandalously dancing haven't been remakes of Dirty Dancing? I just assumed at least a few were.
With a remake of Footloose also in development, people who like to for some reason pretend that dancing is still considered lewd or taboo in any way have a lot to look forward to! Let's hurry up and get this in theaters so that Conan O'Brien can ironically demand its re-release in ten years.
(via Coming Soon)
Aug 19 2009Another Remake You Didn't Ask For: 'Outland' Comes Again
Sensing there was still a film that had not yet been pointlessly remade, Warner Bros. and Hollywood Gang Productions have hired Michael Davis, director of Shoot 'Em Up and 100 Girls, to direct a remake of the 1981 film Outland (which itself was basically a sci-fi remake of High Noon, adding another level of ridiculousness):
The redo will be written by Chad St. John, who scripted the WB drama “The Days Before,” which Hollywood Gang is producing.The drama revolves around a police marshal stationed at a remote mining colony on Jupiter's moon IO, where a cop uncovers a murderous conspiracy endangering the entire Outland with collapse. The cop’s a week away from retiring and returning to Earth with his wife. He must choose between walking away or taking on a private army with his overachieving ex-partner and wife’s former boyfriend.
I suppose it was only a matter of time before they made it to the Sean Connery sci-fi catalog. Hurry, we need to hide Zardoz before someone throws Gerard Butler in a bright red diaper.
Aug 19 2009'When in Rome' Trailer: 'Sex and the City' with Fewer Ladies, More Supernatural
What happens when you mix the torturous I'm-a-Manhattan-lady-looking-for-love voice-over of Sex and the City; advertisements for the music of Jason Mraz, The Academy Is, and a group that chose to name themselves 3OH!3; the unfortunate, image-tarnishing presence of Will Arnett; chromakey that somehow looks far, far worse than your local weatherman standing in front of the StormTracker screen; and magic? Let me show you:
Continue Reading "'When in Rome' Trailer: 'Sex and the City' with Fewer Ladies, More Supernatural"
Aug 19 2009'Law Abiding Citizen' Has This Really Awesome Explosion!
From my electronic mailbox:
I’m working on Overture’s upcoming Jamie Foxx/Gerard Butler suspense thriller flick, LAW ABIDING CITIZEN. (Which comes out October 16th!)The director of the film, F. Gary Gray (Be Cool, The Italian Job) just tweeted from his personal twitter account http://twitter.com/F_Gary_Gray a link to a really awesome explosion that they just shot for some added special effects sequences in the film – I’ve included a quick snapshot of the video [above]
Radical, dudes! A really awesome explosion! Really awesome explosions are like my favorite thing--after pizza and neon images of skateboarding youths, of course! So sweet.
Also included in that email: this link to F. Gary Gray's Twitter account, which has a link to not the actual explosion but a YouTube search for "f gary gray explosion." I guess that keeps the link relevant, in case director F. Gary Gray posts more F. Gary Gray explosions in the future.
Video of this misguided marketing attempt:
Continue Reading "'Law Abiding Citizen' Has This Really Awesome Explosion!"
Aug 19 2009'Saw VI' Poster: I Have No Idea
Saw VI! Trust in him! To help you trust in him, here are some pale hand boxing gloves on a reflective surface. What?
Aug 18 2009'Castlevania' Almost News: Movie to Include Basic Game Elements!
Breathe a sigh of relief, Castlevania fans. Speaking about the long-planned film adaptation of the video game, Paul W.S. Anderson (producer on the project and director of horrible video game adaptations like Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil) said Saw's James Wan is currently working on "tweaking the script" to direct at some point in the future, and, more importantly, revealed that the adaptation will contain the most very basic elements that make up Castlevania:
“There’ll be the whip and there’ll be creatures,” Anderson said, referring to Simon Belmont’s weapon of choice and the mythical beasts he battles as he makes his way through Dracula’s castle in the original video game.
A whip and creatures!? This thing is already as accurate as the Castlevania Tiger hand-held game! I'll keep you updated if I hear news about the possible inclusion of a Dracula or any sort of castle-like structure.
Aug 18 2009'My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done' Trailer: Lynch + Herzog + Birds!
Here's a film with an equal chance of being really good and really obtuse (probably both): My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done. The film is directed by Werner Herzog, executive produced by David Lynch, and stars Academy Award nominee Willem Dafoe, Academy Award nominee Michael Shannon, Academy Award nominee Chloe Sevigny, Academy Award nominee some flamingos, Academy Award nominee a pack of ostriches, and a classically Lynchian arbitrary little person.
Trailer:
Continue Reading "'My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done' Trailer: Lynch + Herzog + Birds!"
Aug 18 2009Good Job Ruining AvatarPreviewTicketsTheMovie.net, Everyone
Apparently this Avatar movie might end up being a movie EVENT--like NBC's television events (Gulliver's Travels, Merlin, The Odyssey, but in theaters! The Hollywood Reporter is saying demand for tickets to the new James Cameron film's Friday preview was so high yesterday that the site crashed for several hours shortly after ticketing opened at noon. This thing is getting as big as one of your YouToo shows!
But there is some good news: if you live in less densely nerd-populated areas, tickets are still available. Get those things before Johnny Scalper does.
Aug 18 2009Quentin Tarantino's Favorite Movies Since He's Been Making Movies
Surprising things about this list:
1. Despite the self-imposed 1992-2009 restriction, you'd think he'd have somehow found a way to work in an obscure '70s kung fu film.
2. Referring to his contemporary as "M. Night Shamalamadingdong."
3. Half his selections. I can't imagine many "top film" lists contain both Dogville and Friday. That's an appetizer menu with caviar and a Bloomin' Onion.
Transcribed list, for easier Netflix queue adding, under the cut.
Continue Reading "Quentin Tarantino's Favorite Movies Since He's Been Making Movies"
Aug 18 2009James McAvoy To Pretend He Has Cancer
Cancer: horribly frightening or hilarious? I'm leaning towards horribly frightening, but James McAvoy has plans to show me otherwise. The actor has just signed on to star in the Seth Rogen-produced comedic adaptation of Will Reiser novel, I'm With Cancer. From Variety:
Nicole Holofcener will direct, and the pic will co-star Seth Rogen, who is also producing.In the first major project McAvoy has agreed to star in since the Universal comicbook actioner "Wanted" and its upcoming sequel, thesp will play a 25-year-old who learns he has cancer and successfully battles the disease over several years.
Character is based on the real experiences of screenwriter Will Reiser, who won his own fight with cancer in his mid-20s.
Sounds like it could be a funny and uplifting movie, and I will definitely never see it because it will make me deathly afraid of getting cancer before I'm 30. Similarly, I refuse to watch any film where someone's testicles get inadvertently twisted around each other while they're sleeping. Some scenarios are just too real to deal with.
Aug 18 2009'Up in the Air' One-Sheet: Make a "Connection," Get It?
Removed at the request of Paramount Pictures Corporation
Empire has debuted the first poster for Up in the Air, the new comedy from Jason Reitman. If the goal was to make this, at first glance, look like a mobile phone ad that has George Clooney in it for some reason, they have succeeded, because I am equally eager to see this movie and buy this phone plan that works in airports worldwide.
Aug 17 2009Weekend Box Office Report: Everything with the Word 'District' in the Title Did Great
Sci-fi social commentary faced off against sci-fi marriage last weekend, and it's now clear we're far more likely to see a District 10 than we are a Time Traveler Jr.'s Wife:
1. District 9 - $37 million. That already makes back the $30 million budget, so now they can just waste the rest on snacks.
2. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - $22.5 million. Down almost 60% from opening weekend to be beaten by a film with 1/6th the budget? Maybe the inevitable G.I. Joe sequel can learn a lesson from this and be twice as loud next time.
3. The Time Traveler's Wife - $19.2 million. Really should have just focused on the time traveler himself; I would argue his ability to time travel makes him more interesting than the wife, in a way.
4. Julie & Julia - $12.4 million. Probably could have made twice as much if they'd done it like Kill Bill and released Julie as one movie and Julia a few months later.
5. G-Force - $6.9 million. Shouldn't this movie be screaming for me to buy it on Disney DVD and Blu-ray by now?
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Aug 17 2009Man Hired to Build Up Our 'Spider-Man' Cache
Our precious Spider-Man script reserves are growing! Though production has yet to begin on Spider-Man 4, Zodiac writer James Vanderbilt has been hired to write fifth and sixth chapters of the superhero franchise:
As Sony Pictures Entertainment preps a fourth installment of "Spider-Man" to begin production early next year, the studio has quietly engaged screenwriter James Vanderbilt to pen "Spider-Man 5" and "Spider-Man 6."Vanderbilt was the first writer on "Spider-Man 4." Director Sam Raimi brought on "Rabbit Hole" playwright David Lindsay-Abaire to rewrite him, and Gary Ross is now rewriting that script. The studio is enthusiastic about where it stands as the picture begins prepping for an early 2010 production start for a May 2011 release.
Raimi didn't embrace all of Vanderbilt's ideas, but execs at Columbia Pictures and Marvel Studios have. Vanderbilt has been hired to pen the fifth and sixth movies, which have an interconnected storyline.
Good luck topping the X-treme-itude of Spider-Man 3's X-treme snowboard-style Harry Osborn, Vanderbilt. Your best bet is probably going to be inventing a new villain that's a talking, sunglasses-wearing shark on a skateboard.
Aug 17 2009'Motherhood' Trailer: Bein' a Mom is Crazy, Y'Know?
Being a mom in New York is crazy! So crazy that it's turned Uma Thurman into a sad, angry Joan Cusack who goes around the city accepting pitied condescension from every other urban mom she can find and forcing out pursed grins (above) every time she wants to non-verbally broadcast that "motherhood in the city sure is tough, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!" That's Motherhood!
The only good that can come from this movie is that now when a screenwriter's city-mom friend says, "You should write a movie about MY life! It's nutso!", the writer can reply, "No, look, someone already did, and it was terrible." Observe:
Continue Reading "'Motherhood' Trailer: Bein' a Mom is Crazy, Y'Know?"
Aug 17 2009'Legion' Poster: Hey, Let's Throw a Gun in His Hand!
Man, how did Creed never use this as an album cover? Don't get me wrong--a poorly computer-generated clay man bursting out of the ground is super awesome and all--but I think an angel with a glistening, photoshopped uzi would have really captured the band's mixture of ridiculous religious imagery and confused, juvenile notions of what's cool.
Legion Poster [IMPA]
Aug 17 2009'White Chicks 2' On The Way!
Because the concept of two black guys pretending to be two white women will never not be hilarious:
The Wayans Brothers and Sony are developing a sequel to the 2004 comedy "White Chicks," which will see Marlon and Shawn Wayans reprise their roles as sibling FBI agents posing as a pair of white ladies.Keenen Ivory Wayans is on board to direct the sequel, which all three Wayans are writing. The logline for the new entry is being kept under wraps.
Actually, no, the sequel's logline is not being kept under wraps. The logline is, "The Wayans Brothers come up with another excuse to dress up as pale monsters that vaguely resemble blond women." That will be the logline of White Chicks 3 & 4 also.
