Jul 7 2009'View-Master' Movie Now Most Ridiculous '80s Toy Movie
Thought there couldn't be less of an idea for a movie than Asteroids: The Movie? Wrong again. Hollywood always finds a way. According to The Hollywood Reporter, DreamWorks is working on a movie based on View-Master. Yes, View-Master, the cheap, 3D slide-viewer for children:
DreamWorks is in negotiations to acquire movie rights to the toy from Mattel (which owns Fisher-Price) and has asked Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci to do some "Transformers"-style magic on it.Brad Caleb Kane, who worked as a writer-producer on the duo's Fox series "Fringe," is on board to write the screenplay. Kurtzman and Orci would produce.
Story specifics are being kept under wraps, though Kane, who tweeted his involvement during the holiday weekend, said, "It'll be like the old '80s Amblin movies: 'Goonies,' 'Young Sherlock' ... in that vein." That post has been taken down. Amblin-style movies has been the modus operandi of the Kurtzman-Orci banner.
DreamWorks is hoping to make a family-friendly movie.
Yeah, I'm sure DreamWorks would love for Kurtzman and Orci to do some "Transformers-style magic on it," except Transformers involved characters, and hints of a plot. Sorry to break the news, but View-Master is $14 vehicle for children to look at photos of Muppets 14-at-a-time. View-Master: The Movie is only a plastic shutter away from Photographs: The Movie. Which brings up a good point: who can Universal buy the rights to photographs from?
Oh, and good luck keeping it "family-friendly"! View-Master is basically synonymous with tits and exploding heads.
UPDATE: In the comments, Ted made a good point about the magic a View-Master is capable of. Forget everything I said.
Reader Comments
1. Baxter Pancake - July 7, 2009 1:33 PM
I hope it's in 3-D! 3-D images of people looking at 3-D images! That's like 9-D!
2. Ted - July 7, 2009 1:47 PM
You clearly have no idea what the View Master is capable of. case in point: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97CtEReZEaQ
3. bribios - July 7, 2009 2:25 PM
It's gonna be about smart ass children who discover a magic view finder that can shows images from the future or locations of treasure or some shit like that. They set out on their adventure, freaking out their parents who don't realize for three days that their kids are missing. Paul Giamatti is the bad guy who chases them around and chews the scenery. After enough adventure they realize that what they really want is to be home with their familys, so they throw the view finder away and have a tearful reunion. Last shot is of some homeless guy digging around in the garbage. He finds the viewfinder, looks through it, and gasps. Cut to credits.
There now no one has to see the movie.
4. Icehawg - July 7, 2009 2:46 PM
Thank you bribios. You are due some sort of award or plaque for the good you just provided to mankind in general.
Not to oversell it but you, sir, are surely Earth's greatest hero.
5. sohaan - July 7, 2009 3:34 PM
they comin up with some rediculous stuff dese days
http://tinyurl.com/6meykg
6. Beastman AIDS - July 7, 2009 5:03 PM
Ted that link was just atrocious. I don't think I can forgive you for exposing me to that.
7. bribios - July 7, 2009 7:06 PM
Holy shit I didnt even watch the youtube link before posting my first post but damn some of the similarities are scary. Great to know I have the same mindset as the kind of guy who would direct a video for some jersey wop backstreet wannabes.
8. Nathiest - July 8, 2009 12:32 AM
If someone would to right now come out with porno view master they would make millions selling'em online as erotic art.
9. Rob - July 8, 2009 3:13 AM
Thanks Ted. I just vomitted a little bit in my mouth.
10. Switcher - July 8, 2009 8:16 AM
I'm eagerly waiting for "Rubik's Cube - The Motion Picture" now.
;))