Jul 31 2009New Moving Pictures Shows!
This weekend, treat a lady to dinner, then to one of these new releases. Congratulations: you just went on a "classic date."
Funny People
Director: Judd Apatow
Starring: Adam Sandler, Leslie Mann, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Jason Schwartzman, other amusing humans.
Good if you want to see: the director of The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up edge towards the drama side of the scale; Adam Sandler essentially acknowledge that an "Adam Sandler Movie" is terrible; reasons for and against becoming a successful stand-up comedian, moving on to soul-sucking Hollywood roles, and then getting leukemia.
Aliens in the Attic
Director: John Schultz
Starring: Kevin Nealon, Tim Meadows, I think one of those Disney-bred girls is in it
Good if you want to see: all these fucking aliens in this fucking attic.
The Collector
Director: Marcus Dunstan
Starring: Madeline Zima, Andrea Roth, Daniella Alonso, Robert Wisdom
Good if you want to see: yet another insane serial killer setting up elaborate traps for his unsuspecting victims; people dying gruesome, Looney Tunes-style deaths (see above).
Thirst (limited)
Director: Chan Wook Park
Starring: Kang-ho Song, Ha-kyun Shin
Good if you want to see: "a priest transform into a vampire after a failed medical experiment, plunging him into a world of unknown sensual pleasures"; isn't that enough?
Adam (limited)
Director: Max Mayer
Starring: Hugh Dancy, Rose Byrne
Good if you want to see: you can still find true love with a normie even if you're a space-obsessed dude with Asperger's; saccharine on the autism spectrum.
Reader Comments
1. james - July 31, 2009 4:14 PM
'funny people' is 2.5 hours ... i cant commit to a comedy for that long... can anyone?
2. Pat - July 31, 2009 4:28 PM
The problem with Judd Apatow — and don't get me wrong, he's talented — is that his movies are way too long. Monster movies and comedies should top out at 90 minutes, 100 tops. Anything longer and it's time to go back to the editing room.
3. mike - July 31, 2009 5:04 PM
ASS BURGERS
4. Francis - July 31, 2009 5:48 PM
In Aliens In The Attic they have a deleted where Samuel L Jackson comes in and tells the kids:
"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
I had it with these Mutha F-ing Aliens in this M F-ing Attic"
5. whatserbucket - August 2, 2009 5:06 PM
As a heterosexual lady, if I go to dinner and a movie with one of my lady-friends, is it still a "classic date?"
I'd rather shave my head with a cheese grater than sit through that Apatow schlock anyway.
6. Captain - August 3, 2009 3:43 AM
Must See!!
http://75684.onodot.com/