New Moving Pictures Shows!
This weekend, treat a lady to dinner, then to one of these new releases. Congratulations: you just went on a "classic date."
Funny People
Director: Judd Apatow
Starring: Adam Sandler, Leslie Mann, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Jason Schwartzman, other amusing humans.
Good if you want to see: the director of The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up edge towards the drama side of the scale; Adam Sandler essentially acknowledge that an "Adam Sandler Movie" is terrible; reasons for and against becoming a successful stand-up comedian, moving on to soul-sucking Hollywood roles, and then getting leukemia.
Aliens in the Attic
Director: John Schultz
Starring: Kevin Nealon, Tim Meadows, I think one of those Disney-bred girls is in it
Good if you want to see: all these fucking aliens in this fucking attic.
The Collector
Director: Marcus Dunstan
Starring: Madeline Zima, Andrea Roth, Daniella Alonso, Robert Wisdom
Good if you want to see: yet another insane serial killer setting up elaborate traps for his unsuspecting victims; people dying gruesome, Looney Tunes-style deaths (see above).
Thirst (limited)
Director: Chan Wook Park
Starring: Kang-ho Song, Ha-kyun Shin
Good if you want to see: "a priest transform into a vampire after a failed medical experiment, plunging him into a world of unknown sensual pleasures"; isn't that enough?
Adam (limited)
Director: Max Mayer
Starring: Hugh Dancy, Rose Byrne
Good if you want to see: you can still find true love with a normie even if you're a space-obsessed dude with Asperger's; saccharine on the autism spectrum.