Jul 16 2009Emmy Nominations: These Are Most Likely Our Best Television Things

Alright, Academy of Television Arts and Sciences fans, your day has come: the 2009 Primetime Emmy Award nominations! As usual, expect a mix of the expected (30 Rock and Mad Men have a lot), the aggravating (Family Guy for Best Comedy Series? God) and the that's-[still]-a-show? (Old Christine is apparently still having enough New Adventures to share with us each week on CBS).

Full list here; abbreviating list with 100% fewer hair, makeup, and technical awards here:

Outstanding Comedy Series
30 Rock
Entourage
Family Guy
Flight of the Conchords
How I Met Your Mother
The Office
Weeds

The Academy members love chillin' with an "FG" in their dorm room, doing Peter Griffin impressions and laughing about how "random" it is.

Outstanding Drama Series
Big Love
Breaking Bad
Damages
Dexter
House
Lost
Mad Men

It should be noted, several of these shows haven't actually been watched by the Academy, but they plan to catch up soon because their friends keep talking about how good they are.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
30 Rock - Alec Baldwin
Flight of the Conchords - Jemaine Clement
Monk - Tony Shalhoub
The Big Bang Theory - Jim Parsons
The Office - Steve Carell
Two and a Half Men - Charlie Sheen

I always thought of Two and a Half Men as mostly a writers' show, but yes, I suppose the acting is also superb.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Breaking Bad - Bryan Cranston
Dexter - Michael C. Hall
House - Hugh Laurie
In Treatment - Gabriel Byrne
Mad Men - Jon Hamm
The Mentalist - Simon Baker

As much as I like Hugh Laurie, I still can't understand why I'm the only who finds the House M.D. voice and persona laughable. Obviously better than Mentalist, but still.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
30 Rock - Tina Fey
Samantha Who? - Christina Applegate
The New Adventures of Old Christine - Julia Louis-Dreyfus
The Sarah Silverman Program - Sarah Silverman
United States of Tara - Toni Collette
Weeds - Mary-Louise Parker

"Samantha Who?" is right! Because I don't know what that is.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Brothers & Sisters - Sally Field
Damages - Glenn Close
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - Mariska Hargitay
Mad Men - Elizabeth Moss
Saving Grace - Holly Hunter
The Closer - Kyra Sedgwick

I'm rooting for Mariska Hargitay, only because I like to hear people say Mariska Hargitay.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
30 Rock - Tracy Morgan
30 Rock - Jack McBrayer
Entourage - Kevin Dillon
How I Met Your Mother - Neil Patrick Harris
The Office - Rainn Wilson
Two and a Half Men - Jon Cryer

Jon Cryer is nominated for Supporting Actor while Sheen gets lead? So Cryer is actually less than a full share of the two-and-a-half men? All this time I'd been assuming a 1-1-.5 split.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
Boston Legal - William Shatner
Boston Legal - Christian Clemenson
Breaking Bad - Aaron Paul
Damages - William Hurt
Lost - Michael Emerson
Mad Men - John Slattery

If Bill Shatner acted, at the end of the day, Bill Shatner should have an award in his hand. End of story.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
30 Rock - Jane Krakowski
Pushing Daisies - Kristin Chenoweth
Saturday Night Live - Amy Poehler
Saturday Night Live - Kristin Wiig
Ugly Betty - Vanessa Williams
Weeds - Elizabeth Perkins

Lorne Michaels holds control of 50% of our funniest supporting ladies. That's too much power for any man.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
24 - Cherry Jones
Damages - Rose Byrne
Grey's Anatomy - Sandra Oh
Grey's Anatomy - Chandra Wilson
In Treatment - Dianne Wiest
In Treatment - Hope Davis

Any opinion I could offer in this category would be entirely speculative.

Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama Series
Grey's Anatomy - Sharon Lawrence
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - Ellen Burstyn
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - Brenda Blethyn
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - Carol Burnett
The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency - CCH Pounder

This was a really good year to play a sexually-assaulted woman. Also a good year to be "The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency - CCH Pounder," though I couldn't tell you what any of that means. That's a show and a name?

UPDATE: Ohhhhhhh, HER.

Outstanding Variety, Music, or Comedy Series
Late Show with David Letterman
Real Time with Bill Maher
Saturday Night Live
The Colbert Report
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Real Time and SNL more outstanding than Conan? Psh.

Outstanding Reality Competition Program
American Idol
Dancing with the Stars
Project Runway
The Amazing Race
Top Chef

Man, the show where adults try to navigate an obstacle course while not falling into water got robbed.

Outstanding Reality Program
Antiques Roadshow
Dirty Jobs
Dog Whisperer
Intervention
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List
MythBusters

I never thought of Antiques Roadshow as a reality show. I've always considered it more of a short documentary about desperate people hoping their quilts are worth more than they paid for them.

Outstanding Animated Program
American Dad
Robot Chicken
South Park
The Simpsons

Family Guy can't be nominated twice? Oh well, just throw American Dad in there. Close enough.

Outstanding Host for a Reality or Reality-Competition Program
American Idol - Ryan Seacrest
Dancing with the Stars - Tom Bergeron
Project Runway - Heidi Klum
Survivor - Jeff Probst
The Amazing Race - Phil Keoghan
Top Chef - Padma Lakshmi/Tom Colicchio

I like that this award both rewards Tom Bergeron for maintaining jovial permanence in the face of amateur ballroom dancing while also moving us one step closer to a "Seacrest Out" Lifetime Achievement Award.

And what's with the Top Chef double-nomination? It's Outstanding Host, not Outstanding Host and Also the Person Who Co-Hosts if They're Good Too. YET.

Outstanding Children's Nonfiction Program
Grandpa, Do You Know Who I Am? with Maria Shriver
Nick News with Linda Ellerbee Coming Home: When Parents Return from War

I only included this to show there was a program about Alzheimer's called Grandpa, Do You Know Who I Am? with Maria Shriver.