May 29 2009Iron Man 2's Whiplash Probably Looks Like This
Mickey Rourke, who will be playing the metal-suited villain Whiplash in Iron Man 2, recently talked to Empire about what his still-unseen costume entails:
It's been really brutal, because my Iron Man suit weighs 23lb. It's sort of a half-suit, with half my skin showing, with lots of Russian tattoos, because [Whiplash is just] out of a Russian-zone prison.
OK, I think I see what you're getting at, Mickey. Something like this:
Continue Reading "Iron Man 2's Whiplash Probably Looks Like This"
May 29 2009Here's Your Short: Bill Engvall, Gunfighter
The Blue Collar Comedy Tour: it came, it went, it rode again and again until, thankfully, it closed on a third tour-of-duty and its ostensibly lunchpail team dispersed to spread wage-working laughter individually.
Jeff Foxworthy, the patient zero of redneck comedy, famously went on to interrogate adults about their knowledge of elementary school trivia. Larry Cable Guy, meanwhile, has fulfilled his promise to git r done, taking on a movie career that has included providing the voice of Mater in Cars and the voice of bigoted, hilljack ideology in Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Delta Farce, and most recently Witless Protection, while the lesser known Ron White is apparently busy getting into legal trouble for various smoking-related violations.
Which brings us to Bill Engvall, the comedian whose "here's your sign" routine delivered countless "I'm stupid" signs to anyone who dared ask him a rhetorical question. What's he been up to, aside from his beloved self-titled TBS sitcom? I'm glad you asked! He's in an eight-minute short with Machete's Danny Trejo! And yes, there's a trailer that's nearly a quarter of the length of the film:
Continue Reading "Here's Your Short: Bill Engvall, Gunfighter"
May 29 2009See You Guys at 'Tintin' Around Christmas 2011
Something for your kitten calendar: Steven Spielberg's The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn will be released internationally in late October/early November 2011 before arriving in US theaters December 23. Try to mark it down, but in case you forget, I'll try to remind you sometime that calendar year.
On a somewhat related note, I finally started reading the Tintin comics, and they are nuts. Every page introduces a new conflict that is serendipitously resolved by the next page. For example: "Ut oh, Tintin has been tied to a massive dumbbell and thrown into Lake Michigan! Oh, phew, it turns out they accidentally tied him to a circus strongman's fake, wooden dumbbells that float. Tintin is safe!" Something like that happens every page. It's madness. Who knew the series would be so amazingly ridiculous, besides the millions worldwide who read it decades ago?
May 29 2009Danny McBride Typecast as Pathetic Former Athlete
Making a slight transition from playing a down-and-out baseball player-turned-teacher, Eastbound and Down star Danny McBride has signed on to co-write and star in Hench, a comic book adaptation about a down-and-out football player-turned-henchman. Says Variety:
Warner Bros. has acquired "Hench" and will develop the AIT/Planet Lar graphic novel as the template for a comic screen vehicle for Danny McBride, who is set to write the script with Shawn Harwell [aka Ben T. Best].McBride will play a football player who suffers a career-ending injury and needs a job. He signs on as henchman to a successful villain.
Original Films' Neal Moritz will produce with Jason Netter's Kickstart Prods. and McBride. Ken Levin and Ori Marmur will be exec producers.
The graphic novel was created by Adam Beechen and Mario Bello.
Anyone who's seen The Foot-Fist Way and Eastbound and Down should have no difficulty imagining exactly what this movie will be. It's like when Taco Bell adds something new to the menu: it's not like there are really many new ingredients, just a new presentation of the old ones. You know what you're getting. Mullets and dreams of athletic grandeur are McBride and Harwell's sour cream and pet food-grade beef. In a good way, though. I'm confident Hench will leave me satisfied rather than doubled over with regret.
May 29 2009'Yo Teach...!' Clip and Behind-the-Scenes!
Every group of underachieving, inner-city high schoolers needs a Michelle Pfeiffer, or a Pryzbylewski, or a Steve Harvey to show them that someone cares, that rapping is like funky poetry, and that dice is like math. This fall on NBC, one such group will get theirs in Mark Taylor Jackson, the "wise-cracking mentor of Yo Teach...!"
As this clip and behind-the-scenes featurette demonstrate, the show looks hilarious. And heartwarming:
Continue Reading "'Yo Teach...!' Clip and Behind-the-Scenes!"
May 29 2009'Toy Story 3' Teaser: Living Toys Have Returned
In a futile attempt to keep up with the Shrekses, Pixar will be releasing Toy Story 3 in theaters June 18, 2010, and, now attached to Up, there's the following teaser trailer for the sequel. Keep the dream alive that sentient playthings are conspiring behind your back:
Continue Reading "'Toy Story 3' Teaser: Living Toys Have Returned"
May 28 2009'THE Final Destination' Poster: Someone Made All the Right Decisions
UGO has premiered the poster for The Final Destination--not to be confused with Final Destination 1, 2, or 3, because the "the" somehow denotes it's the fourth film--and someone in the creative department has just nailed it. Skull and broken mirror motif and the tagline "Rest in Pieces." Beautiful. Finally, all the triteness in the world captured on a single page. My only improvement might be to have the skull carrying a rose in its teeth, you know, because beauty is fragile, man. Maybe literally write "Beauty is Fragile" below "Rest in Pieces," also. In wisps of cigarette smoke.
May 28 2009Films You Could See in a Theater This Weekend
Keep seeing trailers, posters, and clips that catch your interest but unsure of when the films are being released? How about I start telling you what's coming out every week? So you can ask girls on dates to movies. I'll try to come up with a better title by next week.
Anyway, this weekend:
Up
Director: Pete Docter
Starring: Ed Asner, Christopher Plummer, Delroy Lindo, some other voices.
Recommended if you want to see: the elderly as three-dimensional computer-renderings; the delighted faces of children exiting the theater; a talking dog; an obviously good movie because it's a Pixar.
Drag Me to Hell
Director: Sam Raimi
Starring: Alison Lohman (that girl from Matchstick Men), Justin Long (that guy who is a Mac commercial).
Recommended if you want to see: Raimi's favorably-reviewed return to horror; a bug crawl into a girl's nose (I think that happened in one of the TV spots); someone forcibly pulled into a fiery netherworld.
Departures
Director: Yôjirô Takita
Starring: Masahiro Motoki, more Japanese names that will mean nothing to you.
Recommended if you want to see: an Academy Award-winning, moving, sometimes comical, beautifully-shot film from Japan; how this thing managed to lose you the Best Foreign Language Film point in your office Oscar pool when you heard that Holocaust movie was a fucking lock.
What Goes Up
Director: Jonathan Glatzer
Starring: Steve Coogan, Hilary Duff
Recommended if you want to see: confused families saying, "I thought this was supposed to be the animated thing with the old guy."
May 28 2009New 'New Moon' Photos: I Get the Sense This 'Twilight' Thing is Being Targeted to a Specific Demographic
Shock Till You Drop has posted 60-some shots from the set of The Twilight Saga: New Moon, and, of course, that means a bunch of photos of shirtless Young Dracula's pale limbs coolly embracing his non-vampire girlfriend. Really giving the people what they wanted. The fans said, "OMG EDWARD + BELLA 4EVER ID LIKE TO SEE HIM SHIRTLESS YUM LOL," and the filmmakers listened. Good to see that even with the change in director, there will still be just as much pandering.
Now time to lie on my stomach across a canopy bed and write out a few glittery diary pages on how I can tell Bella and Edward are still totally in love.
May 28 2009'Land of the Lost' Has the Laziest Poster
"Poster designer! The new Land of the Lost poster is due in an hour!"
"Whatevs. I'll just cut out a photo of Will Ferrell, slap him into a white nothingness devoid of even shadow, and have the T-rex from the first poster bursting through the paper thin barrier that surrounds this surreal, nebulous space."
"That sounds like a really good poster."
"I know. Thanks."
May 28 2009The Nicolas Cage Version of 'Bad Lieutenant' Has a Trailer, Favorite Crack Pipe
Calling this Werner Herzog-directed Bad Lieutenant a "remake" of the 1992 Abel Ferrara, Harvey Keitel-starring film isn't an entirely accurate description of what you're going to see in this trailer. This is more like someone dug up a lost promo for an "edgy" USA original series that stars Nicolas Cage as "a cop who breaks ALL the rules" and Val Kilmer as his straight-laced bayou partner, and is a terrible show that needs to be canceled:
Continue Reading "The Nicolas Cage Version of 'Bad Lieutenant' Has a Trailer, Favorite Crack Pipe"
May 28 2009New 'The Last Airbender' Photo: Nice Coat, Slumdog
Thanks to Flex at MovieGod for passing along this new photo of Dev Patel in The Last Airbender. Strange how quickly a promising young actor can go from being in the Best Picture of the Year to playing some kind of samurai street pimp of the Himalayas in an M. Night Shyamalan film based on a NickToon.
May 27 2009What Are You Doing, Ray?
Dan Aykroyd, I'm begging you now, please don't ruin Ghostbusters. I watched Ghostbusters 2 for the first time in years this weekend, and although it certainly had its share of walking-Statue-of-Liberty-controlled-by-Nintendo-controller and characters-somehow-in-the-Renaissance-painting-at-the-end moments that had me rolling my eyes, I wouldn't say it ruined Ghostbusters. It just didn't help Ghostbusters very much, and now the series is in a dangerous spot. The third film is going to be the make-or-break factor deciding if Ghostbusters will be looked back on as great-though-uneven franchise or a single great movie with some increasingly ill-conceived follow-ups.
I'd love to believe Ghostbusters 3 could still somehow be great, but then Dan Aykroyd says this to The Guardian:
There'll be a whole new generation that has to be trained and a leader that you'll all love when you meet her," says Aykroyd. "There'll be lots of cadets, boys and girls who'll be learning how to use the neuron splitter and the inter-planet interceptor - new tools to enable them to slip from dimension to dimension."
The inter-planet interceptor, a new tool that enables them to slip from dimension to dimension. Oh, brother. Obviously I have no idea how that might play out in the script or on screen, but that sounds terrible. That's sounds like one of the lesser episodes of the Ghostbusters cartoon. "Slimer runs away from home and back to Dimension Ghost, and the guys have to use Egon's inter-planet interceptor to teleport over there and save Slimer from the ghost bullies that won't accept him being a friend-of-humans." I'm pretty sure that was an episode.
Anyway, please don't ruin Ghostbusters. That's all.
May 27 2009Scarface Now a Humane, Merciful Killer
In perfectly-matched haggard old face casting news, THR is reporting Al Pacino is in talks to star in an cleverly-titled HBO biopic about Dr. Jack Kevorkian:
Al Pacino is in negotiations to star in "You Don't Know Jack," an HBO Films biopic about Dr. Jack Kevorkian that Barry Levinson will direct.Kevorkian, also known as Dr. Death, assisted in more than 150 cases of suicide and had beaten the state court system in Michigan numerous times, but was finally convicted after he willingly sent a videotape of himself euthanizing a terminally ill man to "60 Minutes." He was convicted of second-degree murder in 1999 and is serving his sentence in a maximum-security prison in Michigan.
The film will trace his rise as he builds his infamous "Mercy Machine," conducts his first assisted suicide, and starts a media frenzy with his epic legal battles defending a patient's right to die.
But who to play Kevorkian's creepy sleazebag lawyer, Geoffrey Fieger? Alan Rickman?
Can anyone come up with someone better in the comments? Or maybe get involved in a lengthy debate about the ethics of euthanasia? Please don't.
May 27 2009'Between Two Ferns': 'The Hangover' Edition
Zach Galifianakis and Bradley Cooper promote The Hangover in the best way possible to promote anything: with another edition of Galifianakis's antagonistic, borderline surreal talk show, Between Two Ferns. Special appearance by one of our best comedians. You'll love it:
Continue Reading "'Between Two Ferns': 'The Hangover' Edition"
May 27 2009'G.I. Joe' Poster: What Exactly Happened to Sienna Miller's Face?
That is not Sienna Miller's face. That's a hybrid of Maggie Gyllenhaal, Joan Rivers, and a 7th grader's carefully-shaded pencil drawing of a woman with an afterthought of sunglasses. It's not Sienna Miller and it might not be human.
At least Channing Tatum captured the proper listless melancholy of being in an elite military team. Driving awesome vehicles with ridiculously powerful weapons may be cool, but there's also a sadness that comes with it. There's a reason the Duke action figure comes with a rocket launcher and a poetry notebook.
G.I. Joe International Poster [Empire]
May 27 2009'Paul' Puts Together Comedy Supergroup
The Shaun of the Dead/Hot Fuzz teaming of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost in a sci-fi buddy comedy directed by Superbad/Adventureland director Greg Mottola. That's the line-up for Paul, and that's already a pretty promising movie. I'll pack up the family and see that one. But that deal just got a little sweeter, friends. Variety is reporting Seth Rogen, Jason Bateman, Jane Lynch (the tall, short-haired blonde mole from Arrested Development and other funny things) and half the Adventureland cast have been added as well:
Universal and Working Title Films have added Seth Rogen, Jason Bateman, Kristen Wiig, Bill Hader and Jane Lynch to the cast of "Paul."Pegg and Frost, who wrote the script, will play two science-fiction fanatics on a road trip whose conspiracy dreams come true when they trek to Area 51 and encounter the title character, an escaped alien.
Rogen will provide the voice of the alien.
This thing is really shaping up to become what we "in the business" call "a movie with funny, talented screenwriters, a proven director, and a strong, genre-appropriate cast." Let's all see it opening weekend in select cities.
May 27 2009'Scott Pilgrim' Blog Six: The Fighting One
Hey, it's director Edgar Wright's Scott Pilgrim vs. the World video diary #6: fight scene edition. Learn how stunt men practice with a really giant hammer while the kid from Hotel for Dogs sits around backstage! See production on the comic book adaptation first-hand from the comfort of your workplace/home/cell! That's internet power:
Continue Reading "'Scott Pilgrim' Blog Six: The Fighting One"
May 26 2009Deleted 'Star Trek' Scene!
I guess J.J. Abrams cut this when he decided he wanted his relaunch to be less like a nightmare. I heard that's the same reason Christopher Nolan cut this controversial scene from The Dark Knight, but I'm not sure I agree with either edit.
(Thanks, Danielle.)
May 26 2009Different Buffy to Slay Newer Vampires
1992's Buffy the Vampire Slayer marked the arrival of the former Roseanne and Parenthood writer, now television geek demigod, Joss Whedon, and spawned the Sarah Michelle Gellar series that would become a cult phenomenon to be gushed about in the pages of Entertainment Weeklies for years to follow. Attempting to remake the film without Whedon's participation would clearly be a flagrantly bad idea, and thus, that is what's we're going to do:
A new incarnation of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" could be coming to the big screen."Buffy" creator Joss Whedon isn't involved and it's not set up at a studio, but Roy Lee and Doug Davison of Vertigo Entertainment are working with original movie director Fran Rubel Kuzui and her husband, Kaz Kuzui, on what is being labeled a remake or relaunch, but not a sequel or prequel.
The new "Buffy" film, however, would have no connection to the TV series, nor would it use popular supporting characters like Angel, Willow, Xander or Spike. Vertigo and Kuzui are looking to restart the story line without trampling on the beloved existing universe created by Whedon, putting the parties in a similar situation faced by Paramount, J.J. Abrams and his crew when relaunching "Star Trek."
The masses of fanatical Joss Whedon followers will not be pleased. Fran and Kaz Kuzui, I suggest you plant a rumor that there's a lost episode of Firefly hidden somewhere inside the internet and use the resulting panic and distraction to get away. These Whedon superfans are already pretty riled up by the poor ratings and near-cancellation of Dollhouse paired with all their friends' reluctance to sit down and watch Serenity. They don't need to hear this right now. You've made a mistake. Escape while you can.
May 26 2009Real 'Green Lantern' Trailer Probably Won't Look This Convincing
Welp, you might as well stop editing together footage from Firefly and 28 other movie, television, and video games to piece together a Nathan Fillion-starring fake trailer for Green Lantern, because this guy Jaron Pitts has done it, and you probably aren't going to be able to beat it unless you include several squirrel Green Laterns. This guy has knocked it out of the park and into the internetverse.
The real Green Lantern movie doesn't have a chance against awesome sequences from other movies with green effects digitally inserted:
Continue Reading "Real 'Green Lantern' Trailer Probably Won't Look This Convincing"
May 26 2009'Flight of the Navigator': Remake Time
Flight of the Navigator, the '80s film where a kid flew around in a silver pod--of which my only memory is of the alien on-board computer eye-bot thing doing an impression of Pee-wee Herman (because it was Pee-wee Herman), but which I've still decided is an untouchable classic--is going to be remade with computers that will render a slightly more convincing silver pod:
Disney is readying another launch of sci-fi adventure movie "Flight of the Navigator."Brad Copeland is writing the remake, which is being produced by Mandeville partners David Hoberman and Todd Lieberman.
The 1986 original told the story of a 12-year-old boy who is abducted by an alien spacecraft in 1978 and reappears eight years later, still the same age and with no memory of what happened. NASA scientists discover a connection between the boy and a downed spacecraft and try to exploit the boy, who ultimately escapes with the ship and attempts to reunite with his family.
Now, before you ask, yes, Mac and Me is next. No announcement has been made, but all the signs are there. There will be Mac and Me, then a remake of the pilot episode of Small Wonder, and finally a remake of The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes (specifically, a remake of the 1995 Kirk Cameron television remake, not the original). It's all part of a plan to make updated versions of my most dim and obscure memories of family-friendly science fiction.
May 26 2009'Ben Stiller Battling Cameos in a New Venue' Beats 'Terminators'
Between barbecues and solemn remembrance on this four-day weekend, the following movies were most patronized:
1. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian - $70 million, showing a massive outpouring of support for this finale to the Indian in the Cupboard trilogy.
2. Terminator Salvation - $53.8 million. You'd think a powerful partnership with Pizza Hut would have been enough to push the film into first place. It worked so well for reading.
3. Star Trek - $29.4 million, bringing it well within reach of becoming the summer's first $200 million blockbuster. Unless, as I'm predicting, The Soloist really picks up this week.
4. Angels & Demons - $27.7 million, dropping from first to fourth. What a slap in the Hanks.
5. Dance Flick - $13.1 million. There was a time when a horrible, Wayans Brothers-written comedy could have a summer opening at #2. How times have changed since Little Man.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
May 26 2009'The Hangover' Now Has Posters For Everything
Making individual posters for each of the main characters in an ensemble movie has become something of a standard, but the people marketing The Hangover have decided to take it a step further: posters for everything in the movie. Trailer Addict has posted not only the above, Don Corleone-esque Mike Tyson poster, but also posters for Heather Graham (who is evidently in this), the Asian guy who's in all these recent comedies, the film's missing guy, a baby, a chicken, and a tiger. Only missing are posters for Ed Helms' missing tooth, the Phil Collins song "In the Air Tonight," and the concept of wacky buddy comedies.
