May 8 2009'Whatever Works' Trailer (This Isn't What Works)
Woody Allen and Larry David, over the years, the two of you have thoroughly entertained me while making me more comfortable about being a neurotic, misanthropic freak than I should be, and for that I am grateful. But this collaboration of yours, Whatever Works. I don't know about this. I really want to like it, but I also don't particularly want to to see a comedy full of obvious shots at stupid, religious zealot Southerners paired with gay jokes from the Bruce Vilanch catalog, which appears to be what the two of you have made:
Continue Reading "'Whatever Works' Trailer (This Isn't What Works)"
May 8 2009'Gamer' Poster: There is a Boy Inside 300
In the future, all movie posters will react to your mouse movement by revealing a boy underneath the face of Gerard Butler, but we're not in the future--we're in the future's past--so for now only this poster for Gamer has such a stupid level of interactivity (interactive version under the cut). Only your filthy trackpad can Tetris his identity back together!
The film's official synopsis almost helps it make sense. People are playing people!!!:
GAMER is a high-concept action thriller set in the near future, a time when mind-control technology has taken society by storm. Humans control other humans in a mass-scale, multi-player online game. Reclusive billionaire Ken Castle has created the controversial form of entertainment, "Slayers," a hugely popular game that allows millions to act out their innermost desires and fantasies - online- in front of a global audience. Gaming has evolved into a terrifying new dimension...mind control... manipulation... people playing people!At the center is Kable, the superstar and cult hero of "Slayers," the savage, ultraviolent first person shooter game. Kable is controlled by Simon, a young gamer with rock star status who continues to defy all odds by guiding Kable to victory each week. Taken from his family, imprisoned and forced to fight against his will, the modern day gladiator must survive long enough to escape the game to free his family, regain his identity and to save mankind from Castle's ruthless technology.
So it's The Running Man by way of Doom. I'm with you there. But how will Kable escaping the game allow him to save mankind from Castle's ruthless technology? Unless gets loose, then shatter the "mother chip." I will accept anything involving a "mother chip" as an explanation.
Continue Reading "'Gamer' Poster: There is a Boy Inside 300"
May 8 2009Optimus and Bumblebee are Concerned About the Pyramids
We've reached a new level of the Floating Head poster. Not even celebrities anymore. Just some nearly-emotionless robot heads. You can really tell how serious Optimus Prime is about saving pyramids because how the metal around his eyes is shaped. So much emotion in those apostrophe-shaped slits.
They could have learned from Shrek 2: when you have a sequel starring a computer-generated character, you should simply show the number two swathed with the flesh of the character. That's a surefire hit-making technique.
'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen' Poster [Trailer Addict]
May 8 2009The Strange Case of Dr. Keanu and Mr. Reeves
The Academy is going to have to sort out if a dual-role means a Best Actor nominations or two Supporting Actor nods, because Keanu Reeves has been cast in the lead of a modern adaptation of Jeckyll & Hyde:
Universal is developing a modern retelling of the classic novella "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," with Keanu Reeves attached to star and Justin Haythe, writer of "Revolutionary Road," penning the script.Nicolas Winding Refn is in negotiations to direct the project, titled "Jekyll."
He's going to look so mildly-perturbed as he mutates into his villainous form. "Oh, man, something's happening. [Breathing slightly heavily.] Something... strange... evil..."
Such great casting. Who better to portray the duality of man than Keanu Reeves, a man whose range exists purely in shades of comatose? Hollywood wins again.
May 8 2009'Hangover' Trailer with Dirty Words
Enjoy the new, oddly dark trailer for The Hangover--rated R for two "fucks" and a hand gesture evocative of a masturbation finish. The ridiculous Mike Tyson re-enacting a Cadbury viral video soundtrack should not be enough to distract you from how good the last line is:
May 8 2009'District 9' Poster: Alien Silhouettes Replacing Taped-Up Photos of Osama bin Laden
In fairness to whoever was shooting at this, I don't think we can say this guy was definitely using this to practice killing real aliens. Don't judge him as an alien murderer. Firing at a target does not necessarily imply intent to actually shoot at the subjects on the said target. As a kid, I used to pin Nintendo Power posters to a dartboard and throw at them, and it didn't mean I held any animosity or ill intent towards the Battletoads. I was just a bored kid with a stack of outdated video game magazines and a dartboard in his basement.
'District 9' Poster [Yahoo]
May 8 2009Four Effing Minutes of 'Terminator Salvation'
This trailer really lays all the cards on the table. John Connor confronting his Terminator buddy; Terminator motorcycles; Terminator Bears fighting Terminator Gorillas; a Terminator punching a guy so hard he lands on the sun; the 1st Annual Terminator Dog Show; a smaller Terminator skeleton within a larger Terminator skeleton; Terminator Buddha; just everything.
I can't imagine there are many surprises left for the film after this trailer, but still, kind of awesome:
Continue Reading "Four Effing Minutes of 'Terminator Salvation' "
May 7 2009Iron Man with Bleached Hair and Sitting in a Giant Donut
Sometimes a headline can say everything that needs to be said.
Star Tracks - Action Figure [People]
May 7 2009'Whatever Works' Poster: L.D. Sold Like an iPod
Just as Apple advertises its products against a blank, white background to draw attention to their beautifully-designed product, the producers of Whatever Works know they have such a beautifully-designed Larry David that's all they need to show. No other neurotic Jew on the market has such a well-crafted annoyed grimace or such an ergonomic questioning posture. Smart to show off those features. Strange they wouldn't bother adding writer/director Woody Allen's name, though. That's like omitting the Apple logo.
Thanks for letting me stretch that comparison as far as it would go.
Vulture Premieres the Poster for Woody Allen’s Whatever Works [NYMag]
May 7 2009'Humpday' Trailer: Not About Cutesy Lingo for Wednesday
You know how sometimes, as a party is winding down, you'll sometimes find yourself (a straight male) and your best friend (also a straight male) for some reason agreeing to have sex with each other for an amateur porn competition? And even the next day, when you've sobered up, you still think you have to follow through with your plans because you're living in some kind of Kevin Smith-logic indie dramedy? Here's the movie about that:
Continue Reading "'Humpday' Trailer: Not About Cutesy Lingo for Wednesday"
May 7 2009It's Like a YouTube Mash-Up With Reading Instead of Video!
With Ghostbusters 3 on the horizon and The Limits of Control being called tedious and indulgent, this McSweeney's article, "Jim Jarmusch's Notes for a Ghostbusters Sequel," is even more relevant today than when it was written in 2005. So don't think I'm lazily posting a 4-year-old article just because someone named Jessica sent it in (thanks, Jessica), I'd never seen it before, and I thought it was funny. No, I've been holding onto this thing for years waiting for perfect timing, which is now.
May 7 2009Another 'Inglourious Basterd' Poster Declares Actor a 'Basterd'
Do you think male basterds get really excited at the idea of a lady basterd? Like how nerds start knowingly nodding to each other when they find out a girl plays video games, Eli Roth and Brad Pitt would give each other a discreet low-five when they see a woman willing to beat open a Nazi's skull with a baseball bat. I bet they do, but once they actually date a lady-basterd, they realize how nice it was having basterd time to themselves, separate from their relationship, leading to arguments about personal space and acceptance, and eventually to break-up. That's probably the plot of the movie.
May 7 2009'District 9' Delivers Hot, Uncensored Alien Action
Remember that District 9 trailer from a week ago? It was the one about alien apartheid, where the alien's face was pixelated and his alien language left untranslated. Anyway, there's a new version with no pixelation and translated subtitles, and it turns out these aliens might be alright guys:
Continue Reading "'District 9' Delivers Hot, Uncensored Alien Action"
May 6 2009More From That 'Sherlock Holmes' Detective Man Movie
Though Data and Geordi in the Enterprise holodeck will always be my go-to Sherlock Holmes point of reference, because I'm a nerd, USA Today's article and accompanying photo set covering Guy Ritchie's take on the famous detective have given me some renewed interest in the action-adventure reinterpretation. Even producer Joel Silver's quote, "Audiences are interested in seeing something they know," wasn't quite enough to discourage me about this project. You can't fault him for being depressingly honest.
May 6 2009'Karate Kid' Remake Sounds Like a Distinctly New, Valid Vision
Moviehole has learned some plot details of Jackie Chan and Will Smith Son's Karate Kid remake, a movie I know everyone is pretty juiced about. Allow me to summarize their findings:
- Instead of moving from Jersey to Reseda, The Karate Kid moves from the United States to China.
- The Karate Kid's name is now Dre.
- Everything else is the same.
That sounds about right. Just let me know when Will Smith releases his hip-hop reinterpretation of Joe Esposito's "You're the Best," a catchy track titled "Da Best." That's when we need to put Ralph Macchio on 24-hour suicide watch.
May 6 2009X-Men Begets Wolverine Begets Deadpool
Deadpool, Marvel Comics' "merc with a mouth," who some may know better as Ryan Reynolds in a tank top (see X-Men Origins: Wolverine, web-slingers), is getting his long-awaited shot at a solo film. Variety has the stoy:
Twentieth Century Fox has begun development on "Deadpool," an "X-Men" spinoff that will be crafted as a star vehicle for Ryan Reynolds, who played the character in "X-Men Origins: Wolverine."The character is one of the most popular in Marvel Comics' X-Men universe. Deadpool is Wade Wilson, a mercenary who, dying of cancer, submits himself to the Weapon X genetic alteration experiment and emerges as an indestructible semi-sane anti-hero. Reynolds seemed destined to play the character. In one reference in the Marvel Comics, Deadpool is described as a mix between "a Shar Pei and Ryan Reynolds."
In one of the "Easter egg" endings of "Wolverine," Deadpool is seen rising from the rubble and whispering "Shhh" to audiences.
Sounds like Fox is ready to deliver another chapter in their rapidly-declining mutant franchise that will make you say, "Only the casting was anywhere near acceptable."
Even with the after-the-credits hint at a true-to-character, fourth-wall-breaking Deadpool, I just can't see them making a film as self-aware as it needs to be. Particularly because a really well-written Deadpool would open the film by immediately acknowledging and apologizing for participating in Wolverine.
May 6 2009Transformers Take Tourist Photos
Yahoo has put up some new vacation slides from Transformers 2: Egyptian Break, so if you'd like to see two more transforming computoids posing in front of pyramids, here they are.
May 6 2009This Guy Might Be Green Lantern
Might Hangover star Bradley Cooper, seen here with a monkey, play Hal Jordan, keeper of the Green Lantern jewelry and portable light source? So says HitFix:
Bradley Cooper is now one of the guys most likely to don the suit and slip on the power ring as The Green Lantern for director Martin Campbell.Let's be clear: they have not hired him yet. But the process is far enough along that this is more than just a meeting or some spot on a wish list.
Well, not my first choice for a Wet Hot American Summer cast member to play a DC superhero (I would first cast Paul Rudd as Blue Beetle and the talent show kid as Dr. Fate), but it works. I'll take that.
May 5 2009'Downloading Nancy' Now Being Marketed as Lost Godard Film
Forget that the trailer made it seem like a twisted, erotic thriller; forget that the name is evocative of a going-inside-the-internet, straight-to-video sequel to The Net; according to the new poster, Downloading Nancy is apparently now a French New Wave film. Just a quiet black & white piece in which an introspective woman considers the many loves of her life as she smokes on a train, because people are usually still allowed to smoke on trains.
Downloading Nancy Poster [IMPA]
May 5 2009Another 'Inglourious Basterds' Basterd Poster
Aside from being a basterd, I'm starting to get the impression he's also Jason Schwartzman's douchebaggy, weapon-obsessed, older brother.
Inglourious Basterds Poster [Trailer Addict]
May 5 2009Dom DeLuise Dead at 75
Dom DeLuise, actor, comedian, and frequent Win, Lose or Draw contestant, has died at 75:
Dom DeLuise, the mirthful, moon-faced comic actor who was a regular on Dean Martin's television variety show in the 1970s and provided frequent comedic support in movies starring Mel Brooks and Burt Reynolds, has died. He was 75.DeLuise died in Santa Monica in his sleep Monday night surrounded by family after a long illness, his son, Michael, told KTLA.
"He was a naturally funny man," film critic Leonard Maltin told The Times today. "He didn't need a script to be funny, but smart people like Mel Brooks knew how to give him just the right setting and showcase."
Full obituary on the LA Times; clips of some of my favorite DeLuise roles under the cut.
May 5 2009Nicolas Cage Film Takes Out an Institution
Disaster on the set of The Sorcerer's Apprentice! While shooting a car chase sequence in Times Square yesterday, a stuntman in a Ferrari lost control and crashed into the front of a Sbarro's, injuring two and temporarily shutting down the one place in the city to get a genuine New York slice:
A movie chase scene got too realistic early today when a car jumped a curb during a film shoot and smashed into the entrance of a Times Square restaurant, injuring two people, police and witnesses said.The action scene gone awry unfolded at the Sbarro at 47th Street and Seventh Avenue shortly before 1 a.m.
Street closing notices posted by the police indicated the shoot was for the Nicolas Cage film, "The Sorcerer's Apprentice."
(via Digg)
Oh, good, Jerry Bruckheimer and National Treasure-director Jon Turteltaub managed to squeeze a high-speed Ferrari chase into The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Sounds like they might have slightly tweaked the original 1797 Goethe poem. Who would have thought?
Well, regardless, let's hope no one else gets injured during shooting. They still have to shoot the big scene where the apprentice fires a rocket launcher while hanging one-handed off the wing of a Harrier.
Crash video below the cut.
Continue Reading "Nicolas Cage Film Takes Out an Institution"
May 5 2009Wolverine: He's Goin' to Japan, Dudes! Wooo!
X-Men Origins: Wolverine is sitting on a 35% rating at Rotten Tomatoes, which, by the standards of 100% being really good, is not very good. But it also made like $85 million last weekend, so it's sequel time. Logan's going to Japan!:
Fox and Seed are in development on a sequel to "X-Men Origins: Wolverine," which topped the domestic box office over the weekend.The Seed partners have begun planning the sequel, which they are squarely focusing on the samurai storyline originated in the comic series, and whose Japanese locale was teased after the film's final credits. A writer has yet to be hired.
Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that "squarely focusing on the samurai storyline" means "squarely focused on the samurai storyline--but also with subplots involving Cyclops, Psylocke, Apocalypse, Evil Wolverine, the Devil, and a deadly serial rapist"?
Hugh Jackman, Seeds planting pics [Variety]
May 5 2009Does This Mean They Don't Go Back in Time to Save Orcas?
Tell me director J.J. Abrams at least included the notion that androids could master all of language except contractions.
(Thanks, Todd.)
May 4 2009John Connor Drops an "IBB"
Did you have to, McG? /Film noticed a new TV spot for Terminator Salvation that gives an obvious, sigh-worthy wink-wink to the audience: Christian Bale gives the old "I'll be back."
Brother. OK, cute enough, McG, but no more. That's it. No "Hasta la vistas" before shooting a Terminator. No "Good thing they don't make Terminators out of this stuff!" while pouring liquid metal into a mold. This was your gimme.
May 4 2009Where the Wild Things Buy Their Precious Japanese Figurines
Several years ago, I vowed to myself no more devoting any more money or desk surface space to overpriced plastic things shaped like my favorite notable film/comic characters. I think it was a good move on my part. Besides saving money and cutting back on the sense of misery one gets after staring into the hollow eyes of a Madman action figure for a few hours, eliminating the merchandise clutter made me appear less juvenile, however briefly, to visiting girls potentially interested in kissing.
I still have not broken my self-imposed deal, but Medicom's Where the Wild Things Are Kubricks had me thinking about it for a minute today. Because these are pretty great.
May 4 2009Viggo Mortensen Lookalike on 'The Hunt for Gollum'
It's the year 3009 of the Third Age. Middle Earth has been at relative peace for hundreds of years. But now the great shadow has grown stronger in the East, and the time has come for Guy Who Looks Kind of Like Aragorn and Man Reminiscent of Gandolf to hunt down Pseudo-Gollum and fight some orcs in lesser-scale, understandably budget-restricted battles.
Such is the premise for the upcoming 40-minute short The Hunt for Gollum, a professionally-made but probably illegal fan film set in the world of the Lord of Ring. There's a trailer:
Continue Reading "Viggo Mortensen Lookalike on 'The Hunt for Gollum'"
May 4 2009'Wolverine' Made So Much Money
Movie audiences this weekend, as expected, heavily favored movies about guys with claws:
1. X-Men Origins: Wolverine - Neither an early internet leak nor hundreds of awful reviews could stop Hugh Jackman-cuts-through-things from grossing $87 million.
2. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - $15.3 million. It's like no one even cares about Matthew McConaughey learning valuable lessons by magically revisiting his sexual past.
3. Obsessed - $12.2 million. With so many losing their jobs, Americans needed to be reminded how great it was before the economic crash, when everyone had a great career, a hot temp at work obsessed with them, and Beyonce as a wife.
4. 17 Again - $6.4 million. Ah, to be 17 again. I would waste so much time playing StarCraft, again.
5. Monsters vs. Aliens - $5.8 million. Still?
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
May 4 2009Quimby the Mouse and his Cat-Head Wife, Sparky
Here's one for fans of Felix the Cat-style spousal abuse (who isn't?): cartoonist Chris Ware, with the help of animator John Kuramoto and musician Andrew Bird, made a Quimby the Mouse cartoon short to promote This American Life -- Live!
You'll love it. And probably feel a deep melancholy after it:
Continue Reading "Quimby the Mouse and his Cat-Head Wife, Sparky"
May 4 2009Brad Pitt is a 'Basterd' (Not a Glourious One)
AICN put up this character poster from Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds, and it got me thinking: are you allowed to say "bastards," even misspelled, in advertisements? It seems like there will inevitably be some complaints from the crazies. Not to mention Walmart. Walmart is never going to sell a movie called Inglourious Basterds. They're going to have to put the DVD in some special Walmart sleeve, re-label it Pitt and Pals, and add the warning: "Some sequences depict characters born of unwed parents that do not necessarily feel His glory."
