Feb 19 2009'G.I. Joe' Action Figure Revelations
Wizard has posted photos of the G.I. Joe action figure line-up, all of which come with a giant sexual torture accessory. Some thoughts:
- This is our first look at The Mummy as Zartan, the Master of Disguise, right? Weird that his "disguise" is "guy who bought one of those idiotic hats at H&M."
- Wait, Shipwreck is in this thing? And he still has the bird?!
- Channing Tatum somehow looks like even more of a turd when made of plastic.
Did I miss anything?
Reader Comments
1. JD - February 19, 2009 4:34 PM
Yeah... I am with you dude... Ummm... what's up with Zartan? Really? I mean the second head that comes with the toy... has like a light mark of what Zartan's facial makeup looked like in the cartoon and etc... but... really?
I think it was psyched that I saw a shipwreck action figure... I am still not sure if he is in the movie or not...
2. Hal - February 19, 2009 4:55 PM
wow - that box artwork establishes Zartan's disguise as "Army Kevin Spacey"
3. Jon - February 19, 2009 5:01 PM
Is this what passes for master of disguise now-a-days? A hat?
4. STB - February 19, 2009 5:23 PM
Random thoughts on:
Shipwreck - C'mon guys. Put his friggin' scuba mask right-side-up.
Stormshadow - I thought Dr. Mindbender was the dentist(?)
Zap - What happened to his Dirty Sanchez 'stache??
5. spiderman2099 - February 19, 2009 5:46 PM
the beautiful scarlet looks and feels like charlize theron in monster.
6. Keith G - February 19, 2009 7:50 PM
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7. Adrian - February 19, 2009 7:56 PM
oooh! I like the classic joes: "Defense of Cobra Island." I loved the B.A.T.s!
Zartan is a huge disappointment, though. I take it he doesn't change color in the sunlight any more? He was probably my favorite action figure for that gimmick -- it's kind of hard to blend into crowds on a sunny beach, but it was a kid's cartoon after all...
8. Beastman AIDS - February 19, 2009 10:41 PM
ATROCIOUS!
How did they manage to make a bunch of toys around 20 years more advanced than the origionals look shittier?
9. Chris - February 20, 2009 10:17 AM
They're calling Chuckles a classic joe? That's a bit of a stretch.
10. Pepper - February 20, 2009 12:05 PM
Great! Now we know what the new action figures look like.
And know is half the battle.
G.I. Joooooooooooe!!
11. Streaker - February 20, 2009 2:14 PM
Calling something a "giant sexual torture accessory" says more about you than what the actual accessory is.
Why on earth would you call it something like that? What's wrong with you?
12. WillCo - February 20, 2009 3:40 PM
On the matter of Snake Eyes, I would like to know who i have to talk to at an army recruiters to join the "Ninja Commando" division. Also Isn't Storm Shadow also a ninja; how can he move stealthly and kill quickly and efficiently with that gargantuan machine-gun?
WTF NO SNOW JOB! I'M OUTRAGED!
13. shawnpurvis.com - February 25, 2009 4:04 PM
I hate toys that ACTUALLY shoot. The bane of realism everywhere.
If I wanted toys that shoot, I would use a dart gun and pretend that this joe owns a giant foam canon.
When I was younger, I would take the guns that really shoot out of the package, throw them away and then point the original weapons "PEW PEW".