Jan 26 2009'The Cove': 'All the President's Men' but with Dolphin Murder
Japan has a dirty little secret! Actually, Japan probably has a lot of dirty little secrets (the secret of why they have so many robots, the secret of why it's considered OK to sell used underwear in vending machines), but The Cove focuses on uncovering this one: why are these guys brutally slaughtering so many dolphins? Did Japan not get Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home? I know that was whales, but still, it was also fiction; we have no way of knowing what aquatic mammal call we might need to respond to future alien signals. What if it's dolphins, Japan?
Here's the trailer:
Personally, I wouldn't lead off with that whole ancient Greek law part. The Greeks probably punished a lot of crazy things with death, so that's not really the best example of why we shouldn't kill dolphins. Star Trek IV is the best example of why we shouldn't kill dolphins.
Better names for this film: Dolphin Squad, Operation: D.O.L.P.H.I.N., Tokyo Dolphicide
Reader Comments
1. Joel - January 26, 2009 3:28 PM
ummm, what. Whats the huge secret here?
2. Josh - January 26, 2009 3:33 PM
Fuck you for making a joke out of this. Watch this video, and then mock it again. This shit needs to be stopped, and Japan needs to wake up to what is happening within their own borders.
http://www.guzer.com/videos/dolphin-slaughter.php
3. glasshalfscotch - January 26, 2009 3:35 PM
I'd be interested to see it, after all it will (go to 1:22) "effect" us all.
4. Tony - January 26, 2009 3:41 PM
Ha, I caught the "effect" too.
I'm wondering what the secret is myself. Doesn't everyone know they do this? Of course people are going to make faces if you show them videos of animals being ripped open.
5. Dobbs - January 26, 2009 3:50 PM
I'll see this in a heartbeat. Great trailer.
6. Thrasher - January 26, 2009 3:52 PM
The secret is that dolphins are delicious. Mmmmm fried dorsal fin.
7. Hal - January 26, 2009 4:02 PM
Josh - I'm really glad this trailer "effect"ed you.
Meanwhile, where the love for anti Shark-finning activists? Pretty sure nobody gives a damn for the fugly man-eaters...
8. martygras9 - January 26, 2009 4:21 PM
Hayden Panettiere at 1:03.
9. Mr.Anderson - January 26, 2009 4:25 PM
Holy Fuck! How high can those dolphins jump?! Jeez-uuus!
10. JuggsMcGrew - January 26, 2009 5:14 PM
Josh, caring for dolphins will not get you laid.
11. Matt - January 26, 2009 5:50 PM
I agree with Josh...and I will see this the day it comes out. As for Thrasher...your an idiot. And "hal"...I agree...shark fin soup is just as fucked up as they kill thousands apon thousands of sharks for it. Hopefully there will be a movie about that too...plus...I cant tell if you're being sarcastic...but if your not then you are a grade A idiot like Thrasher. Everyone with a bit of intelligence knows that sharks are NOT "man-eaters". There were 71 shark attacks around the world in 2007...guess what...1...thats right 1 of them were fatal. Get your head out of your ass.
12. LenS - January 26, 2009 6:45 PM
Dolphins are smart. But they don't have the hands required to make nukes. However, they might learn to trick monkeys into making their nukes for them. And since Japanese Snow Monkeys like to swim, our species is in great danger. Thus, the Japanese are trying to save humanity from the evil Dolphin-Monkey Nuclear Alliance.
Go Japanese! Wack them dolphins!
Besides, tuna tasted better when it was flavored with dolphin and mercury. Mmmm, mercury soaked dolphin.
13. Daniel - January 26, 2009 9:11 PM
Yeah... so why do we care about killing dolphins again? No one gives two flying fucks about the dozens of other animals being wiped off the face of the earth.
14. sully - January 27, 2009 8:59 AM
ok, ok, ok... now don't get me wrong, I think dolphins are as funny as the next guy... but let's not be so quick to judge these "Japanese" folk... What if dolphin is REALLY delicious, and we're just missing out? You guys know how smart those Japanese are... They did invent the Playstation 3
15. Brian Austin Green - January 27, 2009 4:53 PM
Jesus come on, they´re Frakki´n animals, priorotize people, there are people beiing slaughtered, starving all around the globe.
16. Greg - January 28, 2009 9:53 AM
Nice one, Brian. The point is, is that people are the problem. Animals don't have a say, animals don't make money, animals don't create bigger problems to fix small ones. People love to kill things.
So let other people starve, kill animals, gas up the air and heat up the globe.
Douche.
17. martygras9 - January 29, 2009 12:10 PM
Hate to admit it, but I'm curious to know what dolphin tastes like.
18. theswede - January 30, 2009 7:39 AM
Dolphins are realy aliens in disquise,sent here from the "mothership" to spy
and in the later stages transfom all humans...back to bacteria !
19. Lynn Rubin - January 9, 2010 6:43 PM
Please sign the petition to end slaughter at The Cove! Sept is coming soon and that is when the killing starts, we need to stop joking, it's not funny, grow up and help to stop the slaughter.