Jan 27 2009'G.I. Joe' Posters Using Classic Leather/Sparks/Debris Combo

gi-joe-char-poster-3.jpg

Paramount has released five new posters for the G.I. Joe movie. Their concept: poorly-framed characters on the set of a car commercial, and things are blowing up. Enjoy:

gi-joe-char-poster-1.jpg gi-joe-char-poster-2.jpg gi-joe-char-poster-4.jpg gi-joe-char-poster-5.jpg (This last one was just a shot of Batman I Photoshopped a gun and a goatee on.)

Reader Comments

the second pic.. that dude has no nipples, is that the robot? Or am I thinking of the wrong cartoon...

The posters look like they are trying to position the film as a modern action art film. The Star Trek posters are just as gay. Both movies look likey they are trying too hard to be more than they really are...and will both end up being shitty.

I won't see either.

All the best critics decide not to see movies based on the poster!

Sorry form-shaping plastic, Rachel Nichols isn't a supermodel.

If there's a GI JOE walk off on America's Next Top Model (WITH embers blown sideways dramatically) as a promo for the movie, count me in. ARE YOU LISTENING PARAMOUNT/HASBRO?

Does someone drop a bearskin rug on top of Baroness' head at the beginning of the movie- that's the only explanation for her hair.

BARONESS - Evil because she's got her ass to us.

This movie will be about as good as Transformers.

Over hyped for sure.

I can see my childhood is being raped again.

Problem 1: GI JOE is Team America, FUCK YEAH! not a multinational force based in brussels, FAIL

Problem 2: Clearly in all the comics/cartoons all the gijoe team wore unique outfits and had unique gear. The universal black body armor isn't even camo. Why? Couldn't spend that much on wardrobe? Their ad campaign is based on this utter disregard for the fanbois: FAIL

Problem 3: Snake Eyes carries a submachine gun not a glock that's modded to look future-y. FAIL

cobra commander is played by the kid from third rock from the sun. FAIL
destro is scottish, when clearly his voice is that of James Earl Jones. FAIL


@9

On top of all of that, Duke was super clean-cut/all-American, not this douchebag with a horrible little goatee.
Destro is not some scrawny little puss, and not to be nitpicky but Storm Shadow is not Korean, he's Japanese. Would it really be that hard to find a Japanese male to play a ninja?

I didn't give a shit about Transformers but as a kid, I LOVED G.I. Joe. This is going to be a steaming pile.

They aren't only poorly framed if the photo is of a body.

Man this is going to be pretty bad. Everybody looks like they are apart of a MATRIX sequel. Except Storm Shadow, who looks like he is going to an expensive Asian spa. Seriously. Plus a Wayan’s brother is in the movie...need I say more?

Why make it so dark and realistic? Ever seen STAR WARS? FUN!

DARTH VADER = COBRA COMMANDER
STORM TROOPERS = COBRA VIPERS/B.A.T.s/Crimson Gaurd
LUKE = DUKE
LEIA = SCARLET
HAN SOLO = FLINT
OBI WAN = GENERAL HAWK
BOUNTY HUNTERS = DREADKNOCKS
BOBA FETT = STORM SHADOW AND SNAKE-EYES
LANDO = ROADBLOCK

As you can see, GI JOE can be cool, but faces a worse enemy than COBRA, Hollywood.

I will see it anyway, which is the problem...

SCREW THE POSTERS I WONT SEE IT. GOOD JOB FUCKERS MAKING THE POSTERS SUCK SO I WONT SEE IT. GET IT'S LIKE IM #2 AND DECIDING NOT TO SEE A MOVIE BASED ON THE POSTERS GET IT

i LOVED gi joe as a kid. i'd plop down after school and just eat it up. so what if my friends were watching my little pony or paw paw bears and wondering why i wouldn't come brush my barbie's hair with them...i was GO JOE!!! being a tomboy kinda sucked back then and i see it still does. i used to be able to distinguish every joe by their clothes and colors. now, i have to squint and guess that the one with the reddish hair might be scarlet, i'm guessing? only one i was really sure about was snake eyes and that's cuz no one in hollywood seems to wanna show ray park's face in any role. ever.

and wtf with casting a blonde twig as the baroness?! there are no shortages of smokin hot, tall, brunettes who's looks and accent could kill you and you choose sienna miller, non-descript-white-girl extraordinaire?!

why can't they adapt a much beloved tv show into a great movie as they do for some books or comics (i.e. lord of the rings or iron man)? do all kids' action tv shows get automatically handed to the jerry bruckheimers of this world?

will i see this? probably. just to see a shadow of duke and scarlet doing their thing with the nice tension and the badass moves of snake eyes. will it blow? absolutely. and maybe going into it expecting that will help mute the blow a little.

don't even get me started on the STREET FIGHTER the movie. kristen kreuk as chun li, my ass.

Motherfuckers! They're totally ruining this thing I used to like when I was a kid!!1!

I say they should have gone for realistic... Have G.I.Joe out toppling foreign governments, Snake Eyes assassinating democratically-elected socialist leaders, using their super-advanced technology to pumel the shit out of third world villages... Wait, what am I saying?!? It should be exactly like the toys! They should totally be wearing garrish florescent costumes and holding spring-loaded guns that are bigger than themselves, but no one should ever actually get shot. Lasers! Laser guns! PEW PEW! I can't wait for the sequel when they introduce Globulus and Nemesis Enforcer! But you know what's really missing from these posters? Timber. Come on people, how are we supposed to accept a silent and stealthy badass ninja who doesn't have a trained wolf?! Next, I bet Spirit won't even have Freedom.

Oh, and has there been any word on whether or not Sgt. Slaughter will be in it?

@jedijen

You are hot!

@Cory

Did you read the comic at all?

I wonder if they'll make Cobra's voice sound like the crypt keeper with a load in his throat like the 80's cartoon.

Snake Fucking Eyes!!!!!!!!

Comic-shmomic! Next thing you'll be telling me is that you want to see Scraplets in Transformers 2. I eagerly look forward to when Dr. Mindbender steals Alexander the Great's genes and makes Serpentor, snake-shaped helmet and flying golden throne included! And then the Mega Marines and Ninja Force get all up in the Python Patrol's grill. That is a bad-fuckin'-ass movie right there.

They had to deviate a little, you wouldn't want to see Shipwreck running around in bell bottoms with a parrot on his shoulder... Think X-men, they had to go from Wolverine's blue and yellow, because that in live action would look ridiculous! And that worked out well.

I liked the G.I. Joe cartoon as a kid too, and was worried this won't translate well, I'm still skeptical, but we'll see!

Hey It's Brian Singer's X-MEN!!!

I swear to god that first picture is of Britney

Here's the problem... Snake Eyes (whom they look to have nailed, btw), was always the most popular character.

Recognizing this, the producers turned down every script draft and piece of character concept art they received and said "snake eyes is good; make the other characters more like snake eyes."

So, now we're stuck with an entire movie full of brooding pricks in black.

LOL:

Wild Bill:
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Wait for it:
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Jeff Foxworthy!

HOLY SHIT IS THAT COMMANDER SHEPARD?

dear hollywood,
please stop trying to ruin what i remember of my childhood.

love nix.

p.s.
try NEW ideas!

These posters are probably indicative of every other aspect of this film's context: RIPPED-OFF.
http://matrixreloadedposters.com/

So, everyone dresses like Snake-Eyes in this flick? Or are they all trying out for B. Singer's X-Men?
The Joes always had such distinct costumes, why toss that in the bin and give us a bunch of identical shop window dummies in black. The only Joes I want to see dressed totally in black are Baroness and Snake-Eyes.

Nah. Why dress everyone in the costumes that the fans know?


These posters are probably more entertaining than the movie will be. This may be more "Masters of the Universe" or "Super Mario Bros." than "Transformers".

I thought Duke was Dennis Quaid. I also would have guessed Duke around 40, though.

I'm not sure Sienna Miller can bring my Baroness ideals to life.

Cover Girl looks like Trailer Girl in the pics I've seen.

Everyone is always so NEGATIVE!!!
Valid points, true...but give the damn thing a chance.
I'm going to see it, and I'll sit there without preconceived ideas and enjoy the movie. Everyone else should do the same. Form your opinions AFTER the end credits roll.


It has Darth Maul in it. He might jump around a bit, so there's something to look forward to.
I think we liked Snake Eyes best too, which conveniently led into my ninja phase.
Where's Scrap Iron?! That guy never was appreciated.

I agree with MB Clone, you guys are all narking on this thing for BEING INNOVATIVE. They took an idea from when we were kids, and they figured out a way to make it fit into the real world. Have any of you guys stopped to think the reason why all of those GI Joe action figures were all dressed so unique and were all colorful was so that we as infantile, uninformed youngsters would want to BUY THEM ALL?? It was a fucking marketing scheme, and now you are bashing this film, which you haven't even seen yet, for being a Hollywood marketing ploy, when, if anything, they are just taking the concept we knew from youth and making it more believable. You guys need to stop living in some little backwards fantasy world and realize that things change.

LOL. I'll stick with my DVD of the real GI Joe Movie complete with Cobra-La & Cobra Commander unmasked. Burgess Merideth was the KING.

THIS IS BULLCRAP!!!!! DID THE FAGZ AT PARAMOUNT EVEN BOTHER TO DO THEIR HOMEWORK ON THIS MOVIE. MAYBE FOR THE NEXT SPIDERMAN MOVIE THEY CAN DRESS HIM IN A PURPLE CARE BEAR SUIT AND TRY TO PUSH THAT ON US.

THATS RIGHT ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME BITE IT!

I'd drink Rachel Nichols bathwater. God she's perfect.

Sienna Miller is the only thing that looks enticing in this movie. Seriously! Suits that make you stronger and faster? I don't ever remember that in GI JOE Odds are they we're about to pitch the movie to Paramount the week after Iron Man came out. Some guy in a suit was probably like "How is this going to sell like Iron Man?" Hollywood has destroyed the Transformers already, and it looks like GI Joe and The A-Team are next.

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