Jan 12 2009Dolph Lundgren is: 'Command Performance'
Command Performance is one of those movies where the synopsis made me really want to see it, but then the trailer made me nearly black out. Dolph Lundgren directing Dolph Lundgren in a film being described as "Die Hard at a rock concert" (because it's exactly Die Hard at a rock concert)? I'm with you there. After all, Dolph is a genius. But man, this trailer. Specifically, the awful song that plays throughout the three-minute trailer. The band responsible for this really should, at the very least, have their concert raided by terrorists. It's so bad you can hardly enjoy Dolph Lundgren impaling a man on a guitar neck, and it takes a lot to not revel in guitar-based homicide.
God, Command Performance. Such a good name.
Reader Comments
1. Mr.Anderson - January 12, 2009 5:12 PM
I have no clue who this guy is -_-
2. whadthefuck - January 12, 2009 5:15 PM
whad the fukkk?? the worst film ever. surely. seemed like an extended version of a very macabre rock music video for a fuckin shit band.
3. IcomeInPeace - January 12, 2009 5:19 PM
I wanted to hear all the one liners! There MUST be a ton of them. One for each kill. This will enter mainstream pop culture conciousness in no time! The song is already climbing the charts....I think it's "TBA" right now. No where to go but up!
4. matty b - January 12, 2009 5:53 PM
"Now one man... will have to go solo" the best line ever written. I dunno... something about the redundancy reeeeeally gets me in a lather.
5. rob - January 12, 2009 6:43 PM
The words exploded...They actually exploded!
6. krespie - January 12, 2009 7:41 PM
I thought the drummer always dies.
Clever, Dolph, clever...
7. kaitlin - January 12, 2009 9:21 PM
FUCK YEAH, dolph is awesome. i'm glad he's still doing stuff.
8. sully - January 13, 2009 12:05 AM
@1 : Drago from Rocky IV... what more do you need to know about the man?
@2 : Yep, definitely felt like a movie-inspired music video. That was the only explanation I could come up with when the band continued to play despite all the machine gun killings....
Also, I think it's awesome how they ruin the movie by showing that guy get stabbed in the neck (obviously the best part of the movie), and then they show what's probably the end of the film (Dolph Lundgren with his arm in a sling and not dead).... What the fuck, movie trailer?
9. Captain Simian - January 13, 2009 12:42 AM
Let me get this straight; the DRUMMER saves everyone's ass?
10. Kiazersoza - January 13, 2009 10:09 AM
So am I to assume that the band continues to rock out while the bad guys slaughter the audience ??????
Cuz if thats the case, it's the coolest thing ever, and I will be the first one to purchase this the day after it is released on DVD and Blockbuster puts it in the $1 bin.
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12. gorgehu1 - January 13, 2009 10:22 AM
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13. Brian - January 13, 2009 10:42 AM
Looks movie looks.... oh what's the word? Crappy? No... that's not it.... Horrible? Maybe but no... it's right there on the tip of my tongue... Shitty?!?! Hm.... still not strong enough.
I'll get back to you when I think of it.
14. gorgehu1 - January 13, 2009 10:51 AM
I are very english speak good, because of long study time of english. Please to send all private information of the banking nature to me. HAHAHA stupid roundeyes.
15. Vince Lombardi - January 13, 2009 12:17 PM
Obvious Title: "Guitar Hero"
Sorry, Dolph. I'm going to trademark that.
16. leujin - January 13, 2009 1:25 PM
That song was bafflingly bad.
17. Dan - January 14, 2009 1:32 AM
i was going to note that dolph lundgren had an iq of ~150, but i see you posted the wikipedia link.
dolph lundgren: he did the first punisher movie, red scorpion and was in universal soldier,
18. kaitlin - January 14, 2009 1:45 AM
and he was he-man!! come on.
19. Robo - January 14, 2009 4:00 AM
I MUST BREAK YOU!
20. juicy - January 14, 2009 9:41 AM
This movie looks terrible.....but I did see Dolph stab a guy in the melon, so that's kinda cool I guess.
21. TetterkeT - January 14, 2009 11:00 AM
Guitar based homicide occurs everytime I hear a goddamned Cake song on the radio.
22. Delgo - January 15, 2009 1:53 AM
I'm glad to see Dolph can play the drum beat I did when I was 14.