Baseless Rumor Says Russell Brand is in 'Pirates 4'!

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It's a pretty slow day in the entertainment "biz" (business). For some of us, that means covering stories about Jonathan Lipnicki roles and pretending someone cares what Jonathan Lipnicki is doing with himself, and how he wants you to vote. For others, it means making up stories about who might be in the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie, and even make a hasty Photoshop mockup for the hell of it. Take, for example, The Sun's report that Russell Brand will be playing Jack Sparrow's brother (via digg):

Brand is reportedly thrashing out a deal to appear in the fourth Pirates Of The Caribbean film - as Captain Jack Sparrow's younger brother Jonathan. The deal to appear in the children's film could be worth as much as £5million and would catapault the 33-year-old into the Hollywood A-list.

A source told The Sun: 'There couldn't be a role more perfectly suited. There's a lot of Jack Sparrow in his mannerisms and behaviour. Depp's accent isn't a million miles away from Russell's either.'

There's part of me that has to respect an organization that can take a casual conversation beginning with "you know who Russell Brand kind of reminds me of?" and turn that into a purportedly factual story about a £5 million movie deal. In a way it's dishonest, but in a way it's thoroughly honest, in that it's basically an admission that you're horrible and should not be trusted for any reason. These are not the people to housesit your apartment. I will be looking elsewhere for someone to water my plants while I'm away, Sun employees.

Russell Brand set to land £5m role as Jack Sparrow's brother in next Pirates Of The Caribbean [Daily Mail]