Oct 23 2008'My Bloody Valentine 3D' Must Be Scary to Make Audiences React That Way!
What the hell happened, My Bloody Valentine 3D? Your first poster was clean (besides the blood), minimalist, well-designed, and kind of creepy. What is this, selling it like a Universal Studios ride? You can't even tell it's a horror movie. With the generic three-dimensional font and prominent pick axe, this could just as easily be an IMAX documentary about the excitement of mining.
All this poster says to me is, "Look, we aren't going to make any claims about the quality or content of this movie. However, we can promise that things definitely appear to emerge from the screen, and if you're lucky, in some cases there might be a girl in a low-cut shirt in the audience that you can surreptitiously check out while she's distracted by the weapon headed towards her idiot boyfriend's crotch." Even at my most desperate, I'd at least need to know there would definitely be a low-cut shirt girl in the audience before heading out.
Quiz: Can YOU spot Tom Cruise amongst the frightened audience members?
Reader Comments
1. lulu - October 23, 2008 1:31 PM
ya know, this would be great if it has a sex scene [with a giant penis protruding]
2. Snoodle - October 23, 2008 1:33 PM
Oh...that's...one unfortunate poster. Hopefully we can chalk this up to a one-off lapse in marketing.
I see you there Tom Cruise...
3. Ebb - October 23, 2008 1:39 PM
He's sitting on that guys knee in the back right? Right?!
4. CM - October 23, 2008 2:05 PM
Check out the failed photoshopped flying popcorn. Just blowing peacefully away with the wind.
5. Andrew - October 23, 2008 2:13 PM
surreptitiously of course! word of the day
6. Elmo - October 23, 2008 2:17 PM
Hey there's Tom! now I'm really not seeing this movie
7. whistle - October 23, 2008 2:32 PM
Come to Atlanta, where there is definitely always going to be a girl in a low cut shirt every where you go.
8. linceleopardo - October 23, 2008 2:38 PM
So...are watching it in a giant TV? is that glass? are IMAX screens made of glass like TV's? oh and that poor girl in first row is getting soaked with soda shes gonna get all sticky any one want a lick?
9. Uncle Eccoli - October 23, 2008 2:41 PM
Outstanding rack.
10. Go Goya - October 23, 2008 2:47 PM
This looks like the "Opening in 2010" poster in an amusement park.
This poster also says "this movie is an enormous waste of popcorn!"
11. B - October 23, 2008 2:58 PM
Ok, so the first thing I noticed was the giant pick-axe going into dudes crotch...
12. The Imaginary Reviewer - October 23, 2008 3:42 PM
So, is this film about a very loud English shoegazing rock band? If so, that would be pretty...dire, really.
13. jecka - October 23, 2008 4:20 PM
the better question is: what ever happened to the movie Fanboys?!
14. Elmo - October 23, 2008 5:33 PM
@13
they're too upset by the lameness of this poster...
15. bah - October 23, 2008 5:49 PM
if i had a giant pick axe inches from my balls, i'd be freaking the fuck out too.
also, "nothing says date movie like a 3d ride into hell" sounds like a tagline that only gets followed up with by "did you think I wasn't going to rape you?"
16. beastman AIDS - October 23, 2008 10:08 PM
That lens flare is extreme.
17. Bobeyo - October 24, 2008 11:14 AM
You mean there is something on the poster besides boobs?
18. Nick - October 24, 2008 12:09 PM
I like how the people in the back seem to be laughing at the misfortune of the people in the front.
19. Nichole - October 24, 2008 3:36 PM
Hehehe I can't believe they're remaking that piece of shit movie. Random: The original was shot in my home town. Not proud.
20. TommyP - October 27, 2008 4:11 AM
I see, how clever. It appears ALL the male audience members besides the crotch dude bear a striking resemblance to Tom Cruise!
21. Watch My Bloody Valentine 3D - January 20, 2009 11:48 PM
I thought this movie was pretty sweet. :)