Oct 1 2008Jack Black Playing Fat, Fake Jason Bourne
So a couple guys went into Universal the other day and were like, "Hey, we made that panda ninja cartoon movie. Anyway, you know Bourne Identity, right? How he's got amnesia but he's a spy guy? What about a movie like that, but the guy only thought he was a spy, when he was actually just fat? That's the movie." In response, Universal said, "Here's a million dollars." It's truth:
Jack Black is reuniting with "Kung Fu Panda" writers Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger for an untitled live-action action comedy at Universal.A sort of comedic "The Bourne Identity," the story sees Black as an American who finds himself washed up the shores of Cuba with no idea of who he is and how he got there. He comes to the conclusion that he must be a superspy, though in reality he is far from one.
Universal picked up the project as a pitch in a seven-figure deal.
On the shores of Cuba, eh? I hope these guys figure out how to work in some culture clash jokes and something about Castro. Those are always classics.
Reader Comments
1. Davey - October 1, 2008 5:45 PM
Ugh, i can't wait too masturbate too this.
2. Mr. Mason - October 1, 2008 5:49 PM
Didn't Cedric the Entertainer do an amnesiac spy comedy a couple of years ago? Listen, guys -- this premise didn't even work for Bill Murray, alright? If someone who's actually funny couldn't do it, what hope do you have?
3. Elmo - October 1, 2008 5:50 PM
nice picture of him
4. CaptainMorgan - October 1, 2008 6:11 PM
It looks like Jack is prairie doggin it.
5. charlie - October 1, 2008 6:27 PM
@2, the movie was called "The Cleaner" and it starred Cedric and Lucy Lui. Its the same exact premise. The movie was terrible, and I doubt this one should by any different.
6. The obligatory East Indian stampeding someone - October 1, 2008 8:02 PM
Jack Black rules.
7. Paulie Danger - October 2, 2008 1:26 AM
If he doesn't end up speeding away from a brothel with a dead Neil Patrick Harris in the car, I'm going to be super pissed.
8. cbobgo - October 2, 2008 10:50 AM
Kinda like that movie about the guy who thought he was a ninja but was just fat. Jack Black is the new Chris Farley.
9. Boss - October 2, 2008 11:30 AM
Jack is a G for real. This is gonna be gooddddd main
10. momboelitist - October 2, 2008 12:16 PM
@9, I have no idea what that means but Jack has just about reached the saturation point. Get it, saturation poi....saturated fat....OH, COME ON!!
Actually I'll bet that half of those making fat comments about Jack probably outweigh him, including me. Doh!