Oct 31 2008Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker in a High Concept Rom-Com!
Under no circumstances are you to ever pay to see this movie:
Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant are in negotiations to star in an untitled Marc Lawrence-helmed romantic comedy for Columbia Pictures.Thesps would star as an estranged high-powered New York couple who witness a murder and are placed in a witness-protection program in a small Wyoming town. Lawrence penned the screenplay. Film would mark the third time Grant has collaborated with director Lawrence on a romantic comedy, after "Music and Lyrics" and "Two Weeks Notice."
OK, I've spent like an hour thinking about what this untitled project could be called, and I've got nothing. There have to be puns to exploit, but I can't come up with them. Mountaintop Manhattanites? Hidin' in Cheyenne? I've got nothing. I figure the poster would be the two of them recreating American Gothic but holding cell phones and a purse-sized dog while a mafia guy lurks in the background, but as far as titles go, I've reached a barrier. Someone help me with this.
Reader Comments
1. Jacqueline Hyde - October 31, 2008 6:06 PM
Down and Out in Deadwood
2. stainboy - October 31, 2008 6:40 PM
It will probably make "For Richer Or Poorer" (Kirstie Alley, Tim Allen, roughly same story) look like "Beethoven 2".
3. Jacqueline Hyde - October 31, 2008 6:56 PM
Hide Your Love Away
4. Jacqueline Hyde - October 31, 2008 6:57 PM
Uptown Undercover
5. J-Bop - October 31, 2008 7:41 PM
I've spent 10 minutes trying to think of a title involving a horse as it's a well known fact that woman is related to Seabiscuit.
6. spiritkittykat - October 31, 2008 8:51 PM
Either "Witless Protection" or "Witless in Wyoming"
It would use the American Gothic stance as mentioned above, in the poster.
Hilarity WILL ensue!
7. Matt D - October 31, 2008 9:03 PM
This would be a lot easier if I knew the fake last name they were using, and the name of the small town. Most of the shitty titles I could think of would be an alliterative play on words or a pun using one of those 2 names, a la "Meet the Fockers".
8. CaptainMorgan - November 1, 2008 11:59 AM
Whatever role sjp has, she will always look like a transvestite. She is the UGLIEST woman alive. (worse than the Kate Moss photos!)
This can't be a romantic comedy - it's a BROmantic comedy. So gay.
9. slumlord26 - November 1, 2008 1:50 PM
Wilderness Protection?
Gone Wild?
Going Wild?
Wild and UnWed in Wyoming?
Hidin out In Jackson?
Goin to Jackson? (and then you play the shit out of the J. Cash song)
Wyoming Bound And Out
Thats all i got for now.
10. Randy - November 1, 2008 3:40 PM
"The Movie Starring The Guy Who Was With A Transvestite, And The Transvestite From That Chick Show With The Two Skanks And The One Chick Who Was Possibly In A Sex Tape"
or "TMSTGWWWATATTFTCSWTTSANTOCWWPIAST" for short
11. Dr. Awesome - November 1, 2008 4:28 PM
"Jackass Hole"
"WASPS in Wyoming"
"Family Guy Season 3, Episode 12, but Without the Funny"
"Notting Hill 2 - Unnecessary"
"Sex and the City 2 - Different Gay Guy"
"How Stupid is America - Box Office Will Tell"
---
"Why the Fuck are These People in Films?"
12. Hoop - November 2, 2008 12:01 AM
"Trigger and Wrinkles"
13. Narcissist - November 2, 2008 4:01 AM
@6 - Larry the Cable Guy and Jenny McCarthy have defeated you.
How about "90 Minutes of Forgettable Rehashed Cliches"?
14. Tongo - November 2, 2008 5:02 AM
"Ain't Sh^t for 100s of Miles! Might as well make out!"
"Funny Love Hicksville"
"A Paycheck for Airheads"
15. round guy - November 2, 2008 2:38 PM
All the pretty horse faces?
Gift horse?
Steaming pile of, well you know where I was headed.
16. diddleysquat - November 2, 2008 5:28 PM
Crap in a Basket?
17. Mr. Jones - November 3, 2008 9:37 AM
First Act: We see the "High-powered" couple's lavish New York lifestyle. They get into trouble landing them into the witness program.
Second Act: Highjinks ensue as we see the "clash of cultures" between the NY snobs and the locals. Every conceivable stereotype will be exhausted.
Third Act: Bad guys show up. Maybe the main bad guy will end up dead, to get the couple off the hook. Couple will reconcile with the small town somehow - maybe even deciding to stay, since it's more "authentic" than New York.
Does Hollywood even have scripwriters any more, or do they just use computers?
18. spiritkittykat - November 3, 2008 8:43 PM
@#13...
I realized the retarded Witless Protection was already used...sadly in a not straight to video movie.
I guess I was just not up to speed on the academy award worthy acting that is Larry the Cable Guy and Jenny McCarthy.
I should have asked the hillbilly I used to work with if old Larry used this title.
She would have known.
I think your suggestion is probably a good one to go with!
19. tommy - November 4, 2008 1:04 PM
WAY OUT of the WESTside
20. John - November 5, 2008 11:30 AM
Hugh Grant plus suspense?! I haven't quivered in anticipation like this since Nine Months... so now we're talking a whole different ballgame. Some of the suggestions are pretty good, but they all seem kind of old school, like movie titles we would have seen in the eighties or early nineties. So here's the effing robot story for your viewing pleasure... Can I say f*ck more?
STOP SIGN
Boom, there it is. STOP SIGN, because you're stupid enough to be intrigued by a meaningless title just enough to pay for the movie... STOP SIGN. How the hell are you going to put Hugh Grant in a movie like this? I'm glad I got a fair warning so I can avoid crapping my pants when I see a preview with Hugh Grant in a car traveling at semi-high speeds through suburban traffic talking frantically on the phone to a bad guy.
Seriously... who died and made that jerk Michael Douglas? Now there is a suave dude who crossed the barrier from slick to intense no problem.
In short. Hugh Grant, you are no Michael Douglas. Val Kilmer*, you are certainly no Warren Beatty, and YOU, Jennifer Connely, you are certainly not Tea Leoni*.
*I still love you, Doc Holiday,
*I still want to have lots of sex with you, Tea Leoni