Sep 25 2008Johnny Depp Playing Sparrow, Hatter, Native American
Disney has revealed that Johnny Depp will be returning to screens as Captain Jack Sparrow in a fourth Pirates of the Caribbean, has joined the cast of The Lone Ranger as Tonto, and, as rumored, will play the Mad Hatter in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland adaptation. In celebration of the announcement, Disney decided to humiliate the actor:
In addition to Depp, who took the stage dressed as Jack Sparrow while wearing the Lone Ranger mask, this year’s event also featured the cast of "High School Musical" plus Dwayne Johnson, Miley Cyrus, John Travolta and Robin Williams. Adam Sandler appeared in a pretaped sequence with the studio chairman. And Cook even had a conversation with the four-legged star of "Beverly Hills Chihuahua."
"So, Johnny, we were thinkin' it might be fun if you dressed up as Captain Sparrow for our little announcement party. How 'bout it?"
"Uhhh, yeah, I don't know..."
"Come on, Johnny. It would really mean a lot to us. It'll be great."
"Well, you guys have always been good to me, so OK, I'll wear it."
"Also, this black mask."
"What?"
"You know, like Lone Ranger."
"But I'm not playing the Lone Ranger; I'm playing Tonto. And why would I be dressed as both Lone Ranger and a pirate at the same time? This doesn't make any sense."
"Still though. Everyone will love it. Come on, Johnny."
"Fine, I'll wear the mask."
"And this crazy hat."
"No."
"FINE. Be that way. Just don't interrupt me when I'm having the conversation with the dog."
Disney, Depp return to 'Caribbean' [Variety]
Reader Comments
1. jared - September 25, 2008 3:13 PM
depp will make an excellent tonto
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2. Josh - September 25, 2008 3:21 PM
Why don't they get Native American's to play Native American's? 100 years of movies and they still can't win.
3. thanks for asking - September 25, 2008 3:29 PM
No! not a 4th pirates! and don't get me wrong, I actually loved those movies but I'd like to see him really get back into the weird little roles he used to do.
...wasn't that thing Ranger actually the thing Rango (the cartoon)
but hey that Alice in Wonderland thing sounds bitchen
4. DreamFolder - September 25, 2008 4:04 PM
Tonto? How?
5. Horse - September 25, 2008 4:12 PM
UGH, not another fucking Pirates movie. Has Johnny suffered brain damage or something? Doesn't he realize that Pirates 2 and 3 sucked harder than a vacuum cleaner? I'm embarrassed for him.
6. thanks for asking - September 25, 2008 4:28 PM
I'm sure for Johnny to go back to the Pirates movies they must have assured him that Disney wouldn't fuck this one up....
7. Ramon M. - September 25, 2008 4:58 PM
He is part Native American isn't he?
8. Elmo - September 25, 2008 4:59 PM
yeah he is... he'd be great in that tonto part
9. jecka - September 25, 2008 5:11 PM
well, personally i hope they follow up the 3rd pirates without will and we find out that his supposed son is actually sparrow's. AND we find that out with a hot hot sex scene. i mean, that's the only successful way to make a 4th anything in my opinion. you've exhausted the storyline, so bring in the boobies!
plus, tim burton can suck my cheshire cock.
10. kaos - September 26, 2008 2:18 AM
Yeah, he's part Native American, and even played one in the often overlooked "The Brave"...
Pirates 4 sounds like popcorn-eatin' fun, as long as they return to the formula from the first one...
11. Amy - September 26, 2008 10:10 AM
Surely The Brave is overlooked 'cos it has zero distribution? I saw it one video at our local art housey video store, but the store has since been taken over by a mainstream chain and phased out the video tapes. I don't think it's available on DVD?
Anyhoo, Pirates 4=all kinds of FAIL. 1 was tolerable and Jack Sparrow still had the novelty factor, 2 & 3 were pointless and painful.
12. mik - September 26, 2008 10:34 AM
this story is lacking in some detail.
like where the hell was this "celebration" and why was it taking place? and who the fuck is Cook?
13. momboelitist - September 26, 2008 10:57 AM
Johnny Depp is the actor I thought least likely to sell out to "The Man".
Now he's done it so much I expect he'll be doing caricatures of himself in rap video's and I don't even know what that means.
14. momboelitist - September 26, 2008 11:07 AM
Oh wait! I got it!
Johnny Depp signs on to the reprized 21 Jump St. Depp will be promoted to Captain over the Jonas Bros. who play the new edgy Jump St. detectives.
15. Jayfournines - September 26, 2008 12:59 PM
Johnny Depp's cool as hell, i'd actually like to see another pirates movie...with less Orlando Bloom of course.
And the Alice in Wonderland film sounds like an awesome idea.
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16. poopy pooperson - September 27, 2008 10:55 AM
What happened to trilogies, i liked trilogies.
17. Dan - October 14, 2008 12:57 AM
Seriously, stop it, I'm dying here. "Crazy hat," oh my god, I spilled noodles all over myself.
18. Douglas - February 1, 2009 7:34 PM
Johnny Depps street cred was last observed on suicide watch at LA Central Hospital.
19. Nancy - March 21, 2009 2:52 PM
I think Johnny is just an awsome actor. I love his Pirate movies no matter how many there might be. His new roles as Tonto and Mad Hatter will be great to see. There is no one else who can pull off any role given like Johnny. Can you tell I'm a huge fan?