Aug 25 2008More Baseless Batman Casting Rumors: How About Cher as Something?
Christopher Nolan has figured out how to win back the super-gay stereotype demographic that he lost when he took the nipples off the Batsuit: cast Cher as Catwoman. That sounds real. From the ever-reputable Telegraph celebrity news column, compliments of Dano:
The 62-year-old singer and actress is reported to be in talks to play Catwoman opposite Christian Bale in the third Batman film from British director Christopher Nolan.The Oscar-winner will join a cast that includes Johnny Depp as The Riddler as she plays the whip-carrying burglar. The character has also been played by Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry.
A studio executive said: "Cher is Nolan's first choice to play Catwoman. He wants to her to portray her like a vamp in her twilight years.
Filming of the new Batman instalment, provisionally entitled The Caped Crusader, is due to begin in Vancouver early next year.
So there you have it. Cher is definitely Catwoman, joining Johnny Depp, who is without-a-doubt Riddler, in the new Batman, which surely has the working title of The Caped Crusader. Those are new facts to add to the part of your brain that stores absolute truth.
Reader Comments
1. Davy Jones - August 25, 2008 2:54 PM
FIRST! i call bullshit.
2. Nick - August 25, 2008 2:55 PM
Well, we don't have to worry about Batman's feelings for Catwoman getting in the way of him serving justice anymore.
3. Julian - August 25, 2008 2:56 PM
After such a good movie like The Dark Knight. Nolan wouldn't be THIS retarded would he? That's as retarded as having Christopher Walken play the Mayor of Gotham. . . no, letting Cher take part in any movie is somehow a lot more retarded.
4. Mella - August 25, 2008 2:59 PM
Seriously, though. She's no more beat than Maggie "Chinese Pug" Gyllenhaal, and at least Cher has some fabulous wigs to marvel at.
5. Elmo - August 25, 2008 3:11 PM
*re-imagens the parts of the Dark Knight with the mayor in it being Christopher Walken*
*pisses self laughing*
oh, and catwoman sucks, she shouldn't be played by anyone in anything
6. Adam - August 25, 2008 3:13 PM
This is the best crap-tastic news I have heard all day! Let''s get Adam West to play the mayor!
7. Elmo - August 25, 2008 3:17 PM
and I thought Johnny was going to be the Joker?
I don't know anything about the batman comics, who the hell is the Riddler???
8. Snoodle - August 25, 2008 3:17 PM
Dear Telegraph,
Pay your tipsters more.
:p
Ew but seriously? No Catwoman. Not in the Nolanverse. Please T.T?
9. Zyclonis - August 25, 2008 3:20 PM
No? No, no no...
10. mtk - August 25, 2008 3:21 PM
There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and the Telegraph celebrity news column.
11. TetraShiva - August 25, 2008 3:27 PM
Wow.
That's so unbelievable I wonder how he got away with making that article. Seriously, he could have said Bush would win a 3rd term, and I would believe it more than this.
12. WTF Man - August 25, 2008 3:30 PM
What the hell is he thinking? That would be ridiculous to cast her as catwoman I mean why dont we just use clay aiken as the new batman while were at it fuck that franchise up even more! Maybe they should cast halle berry as catwoman because you know thats what they did for the catwoman movie make somewhat run along the lines of decent.
13. K lee - August 25, 2008 3:37 PM
@ 7
What the hell. Who said Johnny Depp was going to be anything, least of all the Joker? And you don't need to read the comics to know who the Riddler is. Go Batman Forever and thank the sweet lord Jebus that Christopher Nolan is handling that shit now.
And, also, last I heard, Christopher Nolan hasn't even signed on officially for the third film, although Christian Bale, Gary Oldman, and Michael Caine have a three-film contract.
14. Munky - August 25, 2008 4:06 PM
If this happened 10 Million geeks would be hunting for Nolan's head.
15. How - August 25, 2008 4:13 PM
I dunno. When Heath Ledger was picked to be the Joker, noone liked the choice.
If Catwoman is to be an older, vamp type, then I suppose Cher would be that. I just think Cher being Catwoman would be some kind of retro-stunt casting for a film series that has succeeded by being fresh.
PLUS, if Nolan really had the idea of making Catwoman an older vamp, then why not let Michelle Pffiefer play her again?
16. Lobot - August 25, 2008 4:25 PM
She was really good in Moonstruck.
17. pflug - August 25, 2008 4:35 PM
This actually would lend credence to the "Nolan is filming the Dark Knight Returns" remours, since an aging Catwoman makes sense in that context.
18. Eville1 - August 25, 2008 4:36 PM
Duude, here's my treatment of the next script:
:Intro: Catwoman's lair. A thousand cats doing catty like things with other cats.
Cher takes two steps into scene..a LOUD CRACK is heard..Cher falls over in agony after breaking a brittle hip bone.
...Fade out, credits, end of movie.....
19. Uncle Eccoli - August 25, 2008 4:37 PM
Crispin Glover for Riddler.
20. Pekod - August 25, 2008 5:23 PM
A combination of incredible confidence and femininity is required to pull off a half-way believable catwoman, since it's already a ridiculous character. Do you actually believe some 25-year old could pull it off? Did you witness how terrible Halle Berry was at it?
It's pretty clear why they didn't do Penguin, since Danny Devito already did a pretty good job with that. It's all the other characters: Freeze, Riddler, Ivy, Two-Face, Catwoman, that were just butchered into absurdity. Those characters are potentially worthy of a remake. Freeze is even darker than Joker, if that's possible, so we may never see him.
21. Doubty McDoubter - August 25, 2008 5:35 PM
Yeah, totally plausible. Because based on prior events we know that Chris Nolan loves to leak all his information about his upcoming movies to the Telegraph years before its release. Right? Yeah. Yeah that's right.
22. ThePit - August 25, 2008 5:36 PM
This will NEVER NEVER never happen... right? :-/
23. deva - August 25, 2008 5:44 PM
I loved "Batman Begins" and "The Dark Knight", but if Nolan casts this used tampoon then I won't even download it.
Fuck Cher. She's so totally used. Like a tampon.
24. Connor - August 25, 2008 6:18 PM
It's funny how some people are taking this news seriously in these comments.
Also, @ 20, I guess DeVito did a good job of Burton's version of the Penguin, but they could redo him more fitting to the comics. It would be difficult to make him more plausible, but I think they could.
25. fdsfdsfr4d - August 25, 2008 7:09 PM
seeing cher as catwoman?
nah mate, i d rather b raped.
26. Mella - August 25, 2008 7:47 PM
@23 What the hell is a tampoon?
27. R - August 25, 2008 7:52 PM
@26 Half tampon, half harpoon, used on PMTing women.
Also, I don't believe this. At all.
28. Albi - August 25, 2008 9:07 PM
ew, depp as riddler
ew ew, cher as catwoman
im gonna go vomit up my insides
29. beastman AIDS - August 25, 2008 10:06 PM
I think she should totally be the next cat woman and she should have an elephantiasis riddled ginger side kick. That would kick ass.
30. saduyajev jerbowitz - August 26, 2008 1:16 AM
I told ya he'd fuck it up! I
31. c45j - August 26, 2008 1:17 AM
this is something like.. what the onion does, right?
joke articles or something.
32. Sithlord - August 26, 2008 9:35 AM
i knew this was gonna happen. he raised the bar too much w/ the Dark Knight. the 3rd will never be as good, you can only downgrade from here.
33. leujin - August 26, 2008 1:10 PM
Why not just cast Ertha Kitt? That way you'd still have the old woman factor, plus you'd get to cast the original actress who portrayed Catwoman!
Wow this story is bullshit.
34. Amy - August 26, 2008 9:20 PM
While I'm not saying this story is legit at all, it wouldn't actually be terrible to have Cher as Catwoman given a script that has an aging Catwoman. Don't forget she is an Oscar-winning actress (although I'll concede that doesn't necessarily mean much - so is Halle Berry...). I'm just saying don't knock it until a) it actually happens, and b) you see how it actually works in context.
35. 1manarmy - August 27, 2008 12:37 PM
I call Bullshit Catwoman is supposed to be Batmans love interest . Cher is old enough to be Bales grandmother.
36. ratzratzratz - August 28, 2008 5:40 AM
The more I think about it, the cooler this could potentially be. It's adding more depth to the character than just the same old mindlessly-unbelievable hotty Catwoman is usually portrayed as. Less of a cartoon and more of the 'realism' that made The Dark Knight so swell. But on the other hand, don't Cher's acting skills suck balls?
37. Griffter - September 4, 2008 4:08 PM
Depp in Riddler lol it's a joke, Jim carey was too good in his role.
Cher in Catwoman, TABARNAK D'OSTI DE CALISS, seriously it's like saying
Katy Nijimy as Batgirl and billy bob thorton as Robin.
This as to be a Joke, If he do that then i'll have a different view of this productor.