Aug 13 2008'Fireproof' Keeps Getting Better and Better
Inspired by the Fireproof poster (and really, who could not be?), IWS reader Adam looked into who actress Erin Bethea was, and why she had earned the privilege of costarring in a religious fireman movie with Kirk Cameron. As you'd suspect, Erin Bethea is no one worth knowing. BUT, finding her site did lead to the official Fireproof site, which is so, so worthwhile.
Best things about it:
- The Fireproof doomsday clock. "43 days until you can say "I do" to Fireproof!" For someone like me who's counting down the seconds until I can say, "I do! ...want two tickets to Fireproof! Fireproof. With Kirk Cameron? Oh... I see. Do you have any idea where it might be playing? Well, thanks anyway," this is a (Christian) godsend.
- There's a trailer! And, "Marriages aren't fireproof, Michael--sometimes you get burned," is an actual quote from it!
- From the summary: "At work, inside burning buildings, Capt. Caleb Holt lives by the old firefighter's adage: Never leave your partner behind. At home, in the cooling embers of his marriage, he lives by his own rules." Where do firefighters conduct business again? Oh, right, inside burning buildings. That makes sense. But seriously, putting the redundancy aside, this is the best sentence ever written since language. At least until: "Now Caleb Holt is ready to face his toughest job ever ... rescuing his wife's heart."
- Click the His & Hers button at the bottom. Why, yes, that is a set of bride and groom salt and pepper shakers. Jealous? Really, really confused?
- So you've watched Fireproof and loved it, but the inferno you call marriage is still being smothered by Satan's wicked union extinguisher. What can you do about it? Visit the Fireproof My Marriage sister site, and learn how (Christian) God is the answer to your constant arguing! Fireproof isn't just a stretched metaphor; it's also propaganda.
- "Unfortunately, firefighters’ emotional homes are burning down on a regular basis …" Just so you know.
I can't keep looking at this without my brain erupting in metaphorical flame, but comment if you find anything else valuable, and make sure to follow the lessons learned. If you're lucky, one day, when someone asks you how you and your spouse have stayed together so long, you too will be able to reply, "We based our marriage on a Kirk Cameron movie."
Reader Comments
1. whistle - August 13, 2008 4:14 PM
Genius.
2. Chris - August 13, 2008 4:15 PM
In my rewrite Kirk would say, "I fight the fires of this city all day, but at night I fight the fires lust I have inside of me. Marry me."
3. Nick - August 13, 2008 4:23 PM
I forced myself to watch until I heard "Marriages aren't fireproof." I'm having trouble deciding it was worth it. I was kinda disappointed when I didn't get to hear him say, "The only place I don't have to put out fires is in my bedroom!"
4. Grimmbro - August 13, 2008 6:24 PM
That burning sensation in your pants? That's God telling you to work on your marriage before asbestos underpants are absolutely necessary.
5. sam - August 14, 2008 12:38 AM
i 2nd Genius.
wow.
6. Paulie Danger - August 14, 2008 11:42 PM
Unfortunately, as a fire fighter, I'm going to have to own the DVD. The collection won't be complete until it's nuzzled into my shelf next to Jenna Jameson's Flashpoint and Emergency! season 1.
Even sadder is there's a strong possibility this will be a better fire fighter movie than Backdraft. Which says nothing for Kirk Camerson (Oh, Mikey Seaver, how the mighty have fallen), and everything about Opie Cunningham's understanding of the fire service.
7. Leafy D - August 15, 2008 2:49 PM
I'm really looking forward to seeing this film, and I think it will probably be well attended. Maybe the subject bothers people?
8. Derrick - August 15, 2008 7:07 PM
Leafy D, your one funny motherfucker!
9. Squishy - August 15, 2008 9:58 PM
Derrick, LMAO ~seriously dude lmoa~
10. srsly - August 16, 2008 8:27 PM
If Kirk says anything in it about bananas, then I'm there! No shit!